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BUT - it was just a BUTT
September 21, 1999 at 00:22:39
In Reply to: Re: A timeless work of art by Ruben no doubt! -more
posted by RockChuk on September 20, 1999 at 20:37:50
Listen, in families with really heavy set members that is family viewing every day.
Remember the Widettes on the old Saturday Night Live show.
Yes, the picture was gross and in bad taste, but it was truly making a political statement about the environmental zealots, you know, like they can blow it out of their, ah, blow holes.
There wasn't frontal nudity, just a big old ugly rear end. I realize that kids may have seen it, but that would be a remote chance. And do we really think children don't know that there are fat butts in the world?
That butt was made by God, and apparently customized by Ben and Jerry, but if God made it, how bad could it be?
I'm sure when God made butts He probably thought it was a really neat invention because up until that point all of His prototypes kept falling over when they sat down because they had nothing to sit on.
Why look at the functionality of butts. As mentioned, you can sit on them, you can get shots in them, you can kick them, spank them, wipe them, pinch them, jam them into pants that are too small, fall on them, powder them and diaper them, and if it were not for butts, you wouldn't know when you had a plumber working under your sink.
Now it's a pretty well accepted fact that adult butts are pretty ugly, but as a father of three I can tell you there ain't nothing cuter than a little baby's butt.
Was anyone really surprised when they saw that butt, like did some coin shooter yell at his wife, "Goll darn Irma I heard they existed but I never thought I'd see a picture of one, come on over here and take a look at this picture on the Internet. By God there it is, an actual picture of a real live butt. I bet the guy that got this picture of that butt is the same one that caught Big Foot on film. He's going to make a fortune off of this picture, yes sir, I bet the National Enquirer is ringin' his phone off the hook. But we all know what will happen, the government will deny the existence of butts and claim that it was just an optical illusion caused by swamp gas, or a weather ballon that landed in someone's pool."
And see that kind of denial really gets to me. How can the government deny the existence of butts when the White House is currently occupied by one of the biggest asses in the history of our country?
So I wouldn't be too hard on yourself, we all know that you are not normal and we make allowances for your shortcomings. Now be a good boy and let the nurse give you your shot of Thorazine. Try to get some rest and quit trying to get out of the restraints.
And be careful out there!
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