A sincerely nonsensical light place to be silly. Just ask Monty, he knows !

[Monty]

Several of you have told me you get a big laugh of some of the goofy answers I give on the boards, so go ahead, ask me anything about metal detecting, lost treasure or even every day life. I will respond with the first thing that comes to mind. Keep it light and clean and we can have some fun with this. Just ask Monty! Monty That would be me!

[texan connection]

Why the user name Monty? Monty

[Monty]

Well, Texas, it's a long story.....not enough space here to tell you, but I think it could have been because I once met a beautiful countess in Transylvania when I was metal detecting there just after WWI. She had a dog named Monty and she treated me like a dog, but she tossed me a bone every now and then and I would do tricks until Monty got mad and bit me and I set fire to his tail. After that he looked a lot like a rat with no hair on his tail so she had to rename him Ratbait and I took the assumed name Monty or something like that. It's been so long ago I don't remember exactly. Or not? Monty

[texan connection]

Story of my wife

[lastleg]

Monty:

Suppose you were detecting on a big ranch on a section where no houses
had ever been built and you started finding assorted household items, fishing
lures, clothes hangers and such. How do you suppose these items got there?

lastleg

[Monty]

Tornado? Squatters? But the truth is global warming melted the ice caps back in the early 1800s forming a vast inland sea. But everyone who knew about it drowned except Al Gore's great, great, great grandfather who predicted it and got rich. But since everyone else drowned he had no place to spend the money so he buried it in the black hills and it has never been found. And that's 100% true except for the part I made up! Monty

[lastleg]

Monty:

You are exactly correct. A 1969 massive tornado hit Clarendon, TX and carried
debris at least 35 miles North. My now deceased father-in-law told his grand-son about finding clothes still on hangers and fishing lures out on the ground.

I wish someone had told us about global warming sooner. I could have gone
to Alaska and opened up a string of ice cone stands.

Congratulations on being so wise and generous with your wisdom.

lastleg

[Monty]

I am emulating a guy I met once in a hunting camp. He was as dumb as a stump but thought he knew everything. You could ask him anything and he would spout out an answer, clearly making it up as he went. The next day or a couple of days later you could ask him the same question and he'd make up a different answer. But the difference is, sometimes I make stuff up. Well, let's say a lot for argument sake. But it is all true except for that part. It's a gift. Monty

[lastleg]

Monty:

Say you went duck hunting and was hiding in the bull rushes at dawn
when stepped on a black bear's foot. Would you still be a duck hunter
or would you instantly become a bear hunter?

lastleg

[Monty]

Why would anyone be running around bear in the duck blind? I'd have to say, put your darn shoes on Bob, your feet stink! Oh,........ bear, not bare! Well, bears don't have feet, just paws and bear paws are a pretty delicious breakfast treat. So, I'd brush off the dirt and sticks and look for a cup of coffee to go with it. You wouldn't have to hunt very hard if you stepped on it. Monty

[lastleg]

Monty:

How do you stay so slim when all you like to do is eat bearpaws?

lastleg

[Monty]

Starting a new thread with your last question. Each question needs a new thread please. Tomas Jefferson ( his illegal alien son)!