DADDY SLEEPS NAKED

[USTiger]

"Late again," the third-grade teacher said to little Sammy.

"It ain't my fault this time, Miss Crabtree.. You can blame this'un on my Daddy. The reason I'm three hours late is my Daddy sleeps naked!"

Now, Miss Crabtree had taught grammar school for thirty-some-odd years.

Despite her mounting fears, she asked little Sammy what he meant by that.

Full of grins and mischief, and in the flower of his youth, little Sammy and

trouble were old friends, but he always told her the truth.

"You see, Miss Crabtree, out at the ranch we got this here low down coyote.

The last few nights, he done ate six hens and killed Ma's best milk goat. Last night, when Daddy heard a noise out in the chicken pen, he grabbed his shot gun and said to Ma, "That coyote's back again, I'm a gonna git him!"

"Stay back, he whispered to all us kids!"

"He was naked as a jaybird, no boots, no pants, no shirt! To the hen house he crawled, just like an Injun on the snoop. Then, he stuck that double barreled 12 gauge shotgun through the window of the coop."

"As he stared into the darkness, with coyotes on his mind, our old hound dog, Zeke, had done woke up and comes sneaking' up behind Daddy. Then, as we all looked on, plumb helpless, old Zeke stuck his cold nose on Daddy's butt!"

"Miss Crabtree, we all been cleanin' chickens since three o'clock this mornin'!"

USTiger

 

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[stoney56]

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[Smee]

 

[Ray S S]

This was a real funny one. It is especially funny because of a similar experience of mine.

Not too long after we were married we bought a place up in northern lower michigan. On opening day of deer season
I was out in the woods right back of the house and sitting on a stump watching the trail. It was well before daylight
and was sprinkling rain as I left the house. It wasn't supposed to rain, so i figured it would quit soon. When I got seated it started to rain a little harder. After a bit I was getting kind of wet and cold and was still dark so I
went back to the house. By the time I got home I was really wet. Since it was still early and my wife wasstill sleeping
it seemed like a good idea to go back to bed for a bit and get warmed up. I quickly took my clothes off and hung them
up in the bathroom to dry out and got into bed without anything on. My wife was facing the other way and her knees were drawn up some.Since I was so cold it looked like a good idea to cuddle right close and get warmed up. What I hadn't
seen in the dark, was that her nightgown had worked it's way up by her waist. I cuddled close and when My cold legs
touched her bare bottom, she jumped like she was shot, It struck me funny and started laughing. The more I tried to be silent, the funnier it was and the more I'd laugh. I tried awful hard to be quiet but pretty quick she was snickering.
She turned over and asked me what was so funny. By this time she was laughing at me.

I explained to her everything that had happened and had finally managed to cut it down to just snickering. She felt
my legs and said. "Boy! You are cold. Well we will have to get you warmed up." And she did. LOL

Thanks for a funny joke and a great memory.

Ray