Some Really Bad Jokes

[stefen]

What's Forrest Gump's email password? A. 1forrest1

What did the perverted frog say? A. "Rubbit"

What's brown And sticky? A. A stick

Where does the king keep his armies? A. Up his sleevies

What do you call an Eskimo who's a Peeping Tom? A. Itookalook

What does a Mexican put under his carpet? A. Underlay! Underlay!

Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a bridge? A. Tequila!!

Do you know what the number 1 cause of pedophilia is? A. Sexy babies.

What do you call someone else's cheese? A. Nacho Cheese!

What's better than winning silver in the special olympics? A. Not being ******ed

A guy goes to his doctor for a checkup, and the doctor tells him that he's gotta stop masturbating.
"Why's that, doctor?" the guy asks.
"Because I've gotta finish this exam."

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? A. Dr. Dre

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? A. Fo Drizzle

Why do penguins walk softly? A. Because they can't walk hardly

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A. Lickalotapus

What do you call a blind dinosaur? A. Doyouthinkhesaurus

What's red and bad for your teeth? A. A brick

What's brown and sounds like a bell? A. DUNGGGgggg

So a seal walks into a club...
Two guys walk into a bar, the third guy ducks.

How did Hitler tie his shoes? A. In little nazis

A man walks into a bar.
He's an alcoholic and it's destroying his family.

A friend of mine died recently after drinking a gallon of varnish.
It was a horrible end, but a lovely finish.

A panda walks into a bar and says to the bartender: "Can I get a ...... Martini?"
The bartender replies: "Why the big paws?"

A man went to the zoo.
All they had to exhibit was a dog. It was a shih tzu.

Did you hear about that new movie called "Constipation"?
No? That's because it hasn't come out yet...

My friends tell me I'm too condescending.
That means I talk down to people.

Knock-knock.
Who's there?
To.
To who?
To whom.

A man opens his door and finds a snail on his front porch. He picks it up and throws it across the street.
A year later the man opens his door and finds the same snail on his front porch.
The snail looks up and says, "What the heck was that all about?"

What is the opposite of Christopher Reeve?A. Christoper Walken

Why do gorillas have big nostrils?A. Because gorillas have big fingers.

[Chadeaux]

So . . . your kindergarteners are twins, aren't they?