I will never look at a gas pump again, with out cracking up laughing

[savant365]

Two aliens landed in the Arizona desert near a gas station that was
closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps and the younger
alien addressed it saying, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us
to your leader."

The gas pump, of course, didn't respond.

The younger alien became angry at the lack of response.
The older alien said, "I'd calm down if I were you."

The younger alien ignored the warning and repeated his greeting. Again,
there was no response. Pissed at the pump's haughty attitude, he drew
his ray gun and said gruffly, "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace.
Take us to your leader or I will fire!"

The older alien again warned his comrade saying, "You probably don't want to
do that! I really think that will make him mad."

"Rubbish," replied the cocky, young alien. He aimed his weapon and opened
fire. There was a huge explosion. A massive fireball roared towards him and
blew the younger alien off his feet and threw him in a burnt, smoking mess
about 200 yards away in a cactus patch. Half an hour passed. When he finally
regained consciousness, he refocused his three eyes, straightened his bent
antenna, and looked dazedly at the older, wiser alien who was standing over
him shaking his big, green head. "What a ferocious creature!" exclaimed the
young, fried alien. "He damn near killed me! How did you know he was so
dangerous?"

The older alien leaned over, placed a friendly feeler on his crispy friend
and replied, "If there's one thing I've learned during my intergalactic travels, you
never mess with a guy who can loop his pecker over his shoulder twice and
then stick it in his ear ."

[stefen]

[Tank69]

[savant365]

Y'all gotta remember this when you go to a foreign planet