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Nov 16, 2011, 07:27 PM
#1
silent emissions
A man goes to the doctor to complain of a rather severe flatulence problem.
"Doc," he says, "I've been suffering from these silent emissions for a while now, and it's horrible. I mean, last night the wife and I had some friends over and it was happening all night. Thank god they're silent, because it's embarrassing enough - I mean, the smell is just atrocious, and even though they're silent, I feel like everyone knows where the smell is coming from and everyone knows it's me. The problem is getting so bad, in fact, that I've even had two or three of these silent emissions just in the few minutes I've been sitting here talking to you."
"Okay," the doctor says, "the first thing we're gonna need to do is get your hearing checked."

Because it's always hammer time
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Nov 16, 2011, 07:32 PM
#2
Found my first gold for 2011!!!! One gold and diamond ring, and one 22 carat gold ring from Europe!!!!!
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Nov 16, 2011, 07:36 PM
#3
Re: silent emissions
 Originally Posted by Chug and Red
Hi Chug , hope things are good for you guys, how's Red?
hammered

Because it's always hammer time
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Nov 16, 2011, 08:14 PM
#4
Re: silent emissions
As Homer Simpson would say D'oh
Please note, the author is not responsible for any ideas, facts, etc stated in his comments and does not constitute any liability for his dribble.
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Nov 16, 2011, 09:00 PM
#5
Re: silent emissions
 Originally Posted by spartacus53
As Homer Simpson would say D'oh 
Hi spart old mate , really glad your back

Because it's always hammer time
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Nov 16, 2011, 09:09 PM
#6
Re: silent emissions
Hi Hammered! OMG, you should issue a warning not to read and drink, my pc didn't appreciate the bath!!!!! I love this one, thank you for the laugh, I'm hanging in there, in alot of pain tonight, it's cold, windy and raining here, and that always makes my fibro act up! Red
Found my first gold for 2011!!!! One gold and diamond ring, and one 22 carat gold ring from Europe!!!!!
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Nov 16, 2011, 09:30 PM
#7
Re: silent emissions
 Originally Posted by Chug and Red
 Hi Hammered! OMG, you should issue a warning not to read and drink, my pc didn't appreciate the bath!!!!!  I love this one, thank you for the laugh, I'm hanging in there, in alot of pain tonight, it's cold, windy and raining here, and that always makes my fibro act up! Red
Sorry to hear about the fibro acting up, thoughts are with you . tell Chug he has to give you lots of love and care and massages and chocolates and a new car..... whoops, have I gone too far......with the care and love bit I mean sorry

Because it's always hammer time
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Nov 16, 2011, 09:32 PM
#8
Re: silent emissions
PS, from what Chug has written in the past, you are one Tnet member that is worth it

Because it's always hammer time
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Nov 16, 2011, 09:32 PM
#9
 Quis custodiet ipsos custodes?
If you find me upside down, Roll me over.
"I dream of a world where chickens can cross roads
without having their motives questioned..."
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Nov 16, 2011, 10:41 PM
#10
Re: silent emissions
 Originally Posted by hammered
 Originally Posted by Chug and Red
 Hi Hammered! OMG, you should issue a warning not to read and drink, my pc didn't appreciate the bath!!!!!  I love this one, thank you for the laugh, I'm hanging in there, in alot of pain tonight, it's cold, windy and raining here, and that always makes my fibro act up! Red
Sorry to hear about the fibro acting up, thoughts are with you  . tell Chug he has to give you lots of love and care and massages and chocolates and a new car..... whoops, have I gone too far......with the care and love bit I mean  sorry
Awwwww thank you, Chug is a keeper too, he still makes my heart go pitter patter! He is my best freind, my soul mate and so much more, he completes me. I love the idea of the car, does it come with a driver? I'm not allowed to drive anymore due to my health. Red
Found my first gold for 2011!!!! One gold and diamond ring, and one 22 carat gold ring from Europe!!!!!
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Nov 17, 2011, 12:53 AM
#11
Re: silent emissions
 Originally Posted by Chug and Red
I love the idea of the car, does it come with a driver? I'm not allowed to drive anymore due to my health. Red
Not to worry Red, I'm here to help as always.... Seems to me many don't take the time to get to the root of the problem like I do... It's called substitution... Just Get a play station and buy Grand Prix and you can drive without ever having to leave your house.. I hope you feel better too
Please note, the author is not responsible for any ideas, facts, etc stated in his comments and does not constitute any liability for his dribble.
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Nov 17, 2011, 09:12 AM
#12
Re: silent emissions
 Originally Posted by spartacus53
 Originally Posted by Chug and Red
I love the idea of the car, does it come with a driver? I'm not allowed to drive anymore due to my health. Red
Not to worry Red, I'm here to help as always.... Seems to me many don't take the time to get to the root of the problem like I do... It's called substitution... Just Get a play station and buy Grand Prix and you can drive without ever having to leave your house.. I hope you feel better too
Wonderful idea, I could drive to my heart's content!!!! Now I just need to find a way to keep my middle son away from it, he is a hard core gamer, and has been wanting one really badly!!! Thanks Spart! Red
Found my first gold for 2011!!!! One gold and diamond ring, and one 22 carat gold ring from Europe!!!!!
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