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May 01, 2012, 11:50 PM
#1
 Little Old Lady In Court
Defense Attorney:
Will you please state your age?
Little Old Lady:
I am 94 years old.
Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened the night of April 1st?
Little Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me.
Defense Attorney:
Did you know him?
Little Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.
Defense Attorney:
What happened after he sat down?
Little Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh.
Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?
Little Old Lady:
No, I didn't stop him.
Defense Attorney:
Why not?
Little Old Lady:
It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.
Defense Attorney:
What happened next?
Little Old Lady:
He began to rub my breasts.
Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?
Little Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.
Defense Attorney:
Why not?
Little Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years!
Defense Attorney:
What happened next?
Little Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just laid down and told him
'Take me, young man. Take me now!'
Defense Attorney:
Did he take you?
Little Old Lady:
Hell, no! He just yelled, ' April Fool!' And that's when I shot him, the little b******!
Red
Dear metal detector God,
Thank you for all the stuff I find, I really appreciate the coins, toys, junk jewelry, old bullets, and all the other neat stuff I find, I try not to complain and cuss when I find pulltabs, foil, and other garbage, and I try REALLY hard to be nice to people who irritate me. I only have one complaint, I have yet to find gold and it's been a year now!
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May 01, 2012 11:50 PM
# ADS
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May 01, 2012, 11:54 PM
#2
 That will Teach Him Chug
Dear metal detector God,
Thank you for all the stuff I find, I really appreciate the coins, toys, junk jewelry, old bullets, and all the other neat stuff I find, I try not to complain and cuss when I find pulltabs, foil, and other garbage, and I try REALLY hard to be nice to people who irritate me. I only have one complaint, I have yet to find gold and it's been a year now!
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May 02, 2012, 05:26 AM
#3
hahahahahahahahahaha i spit coffe out all over
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May 02, 2012, 01:26 PM
#4
MR.
Never fool with old folk...
The more one learns the more he understands his ignorance. I am simply an ignor ant man trying to lessen his ignorance Those with the most birthdays live the longest
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May 06, 2012, 09:35 PM
#5
Glad no one can see my wet pants, lol l
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May 07, 2012, 05:50 PM
#6
MR.
 Originally Posted by DEGreen
Glad no one can see my wet pants, lol l
And at your age, too...
Although we see you lead a pampered life...
Last edited by stefen; May 07, 2012 at 05:53 PM.
The more one learns the more he understands his ignorance. I am simply an ignor ant man trying to lessen his ignorance Those with the most birthdays live the longest
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