The Different Laws

Chug And Red

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Feb 18, 2010
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1. Law of Mechanical Repair - After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.




2.Law of Gravity- Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.






3.Law of Probability- The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.






4.Law of Random Numbers - If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.






6. Variation Law-If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).






7.Law of the Bath - When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.






8.Law of Close Encounters- The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with ...Or you are wearing something you don't want to be seen in!






9.Law of the Result- When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.






10.Law of Biomechanics - The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.






11.Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena - At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly
folk.







12.The Coffee Law - As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.






13.Murphy's Law of Lockers - If there are only 2 people in an entire locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.






14.Law of Physical Surfaces- The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor, are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.






15.Law of Logical Argument- Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.






16.Brown's Law of Physical Appearance- If the clothes fit, they're ugly.






17.Oliver's Law of Public Speaking- A closed mouth gathers no feet.






18.Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy-As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.






19.Doctors' Law- If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better.. But don't make an appointment, and you'll stay sick. Red
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nsdq

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Oct 16, 2011
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Tarpon springs FL
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haha these are all true especialy the first one
 

S

stefen

Guest
Then there's:

20. Muther-In-Law. Often respectfully referred to as a "Muther ....er"

21. Common Law. Man's biggest mistake....but no Muther-in-law here...

22. Law of Nature. The Crack of Dawn is not a sex toy...

23. Screw-Up Law. Trust me, a stepson will always attempt to prove this theorem...
 

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Chug And Red

Chug And Red

Gold Member
Feb 18, 2010
7,396
2,678
Vancouver WA
🏆 Honorable Mentions:
1
Detector(s) used
Chug)Whites Classic 5 ID, (Red Whites Coin master Pro)

Chug and Reds New Additions

Give It Up>> Garrett's AT Pro
Buttercup>> Garrett's Ace 250
Show Me the Money>> Garrets Ace 400
Primary Interest:
Metal Detecting
Then there's:

20. Muther-In-Law. Often respectfully referred to as a "Muther ....er"

21. Common Law. Man's biggest mistake....but no Muther-in-law here...

22. Law of Nature. The Crack of Dawn is not a sex toy...

23. Screw-Up Law. Trust me, a stepson will always attempt to prove this theorem...

LOL I have a blob"in"law, don't say it more than three times, or he will call...................shudder
Chug will agree with you on the stepson one LOL Red
 

S

stefen

Guest
Several years ago my wife loaned her son money to buy a 2001 Volvo with a written contract to make monthly payment...

1. Not 1 payment was made in 3 years...
2. Got a fix-it ticket for burned out tail light...never fixed the problem...
3. Got a ticket for a moving violation...never appeared in court...
4. Got several tickets for parking violations....never paid tickets...
5. Did not pay for 2011 or 2012 vehicle registrations...
6. Car was towed and impounded...
7. Finally went to court and told the Judge he was unemployed...had no money...and was basically an idiot...
A. Judge waived all fines and gave him community service...but had to pay late registration fees to the State...
B. Walked out of court without contacting the Clerk...
C. Now must appear in court and will probably get either jail time or will be seen wearing an Orange Jumpsuit picking up trash along our byways...

Conclusion...Mom repossessed the car and sold it...
 

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