People your age

[Chug And Red]

People your age

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, “SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD”?

WELL . . . YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE.

MY NAME IS ALICE, AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.

I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA ON THE WALL, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME. SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME,
DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 40-ODD YEARS AGO. COULD HE BE
THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN

UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT. THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE
DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.

AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL...

“YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG,” HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.

“WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?” I ASKED.

HE ANSWERED, “IN 1967. WHY DO YOU ASK?”

“YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!” I EXCLAIMED.

HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.

THEN, THAT UGLY,
OLD,
BALD,
WRINKLE-FACED,
FAT-A$$ED,
GRAY-HAIRED,
DECREPIT,
SON-OF-A-B%#$H
ASKED,
“WHAT DID YOU TEACH?”

Red

 

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