Marine Humor

DeepseekerADS

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Mar 3, 2013
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A young Naval Officer was in a terrible car accident, but due to the heroics of the hospital staff the only permanent injury was the loss of one ear. Since he wasn't physically impaired he remained in the military and eventually became an Admiral. However, during his career he was always sensitive about his appearance.

One day the Admiral was interviewing two Navy Master Chiefs and a Marine Sergeant Major for his personal staff.

The first Master Chief was a Surface Navy type and it was a great interview. At the end of the interview the Admiral asked him, "Do younotice anything different about me?"

The Master Chief answered, "Why yes. I couldn't help but notice you are missing your starboard ear, so I don't know whether this impacts your hearing on that side."

The Admiral got very angry at this lack of tact and threw him out of his office.

The next candidate, an Aviation Master Chief, when asked this same question, answered, "Well yes, you seem to be short one ear."

The Admiral threw him out also.

The third interview was with the Marine Sergeant Major. He was articulate, extremely sharp, and seemed to know more than the two Master Chiefs put together. The Admiral wanted this guy, but went ahead with the same question.

"Do you notice anything different about me?"

To his surprise the Sergeant Major said, "Yes. You wear contact lenses."

The Admiral was impressed and thought to himself, what an incredibly tactful Marine. "And how do you know that?" the Admiral asked.

The Sergeant Major replied, "Well sir, it's pretty hard to wear glasses with only one f**kin' ear."
 

boogeyman

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Jun 6, 2006
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True story! I was reporting to a new unit. We were standing inspection and this Captain who had a eye problem from shrapnel was the inspecting officer. When he got to me his eye pointed outboard. He starts screaming why don't you *** answer when I *** address you? I swear he was looking at the rank behind me & I was wondering why the guy behind me didn't answer up. Next thing I know he's driving a finger in my chest & his eye is back straight staring straight at me. Needless to say I couldn't say "Sir I thought you were talking to someone else because your eye is all screwed up. Yup! You guessed it spent the rest of the day doing bends and Mother******s in the sun. Jeeze either way I was had.
 

TheSleeper

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Nov 25, 2006
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Since this is the Marine section I will pass this along.

Anyone that has ever been to PI knows about those blood sucking little invisible nats called, drum roll please: sand fleas, each bite feels like they have taken a chunk out of your face, neck etc, and God help ya if you slap one. Ever dug a 6' x 3'x 6' hole then have to try and find that damn little bugger you slapped?

Standing inspection one morning, the damn sand fleas were having a feast, it actually looked like a mist floating around each of our heads they were so thick. All 3 of our DI's were out there with us this morning, and they were just waiting for someone to break and slap one of the little shxts, but no one did.

Well finally one did.

We had just been ordered to parade rest when he popped to attention, performed the most perfect salute any of us had ever seen, slapped the snot out of a sand flea, saluted again before returning to parade rest.

It was the only time on PI I saw the DI's at a loss for words.
 

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