Mental Health Week

[Gypsy Heart]

I know you all fit in here somewhere.......
This coming week is National Mental Health Care week.
You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.

Well, my job is done .....

MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

 

Amazon Forum Fav 👍

Treasure of Victoria Peak - Grab it through Amazon!

[stefen]

I know one person that fits into most categories

Think I'll just throw the phone at her

 

[mastereagle22]

Here is my contribution. Anyone who knows me knows I am unstable so you at least helped me out Gypsy

John and David were both patients in a mental hospital.
One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, John suddenly dove into the deep end.

He sunk to the bottom and stayed there.

David promptly jumped in to save him.

He swam to the bottom of the pool and pulled John out.

The Medical Director came to know of David's heroic act. He immediately ordered that David be discharged from the mental hospital as he considered him to be okay.

The doctor told David, "We have good news and bad news for you, David! The good news is that we are going to discharge you because you have regained your senses. Since you were able to jump in and save another patient you must be mentally stable.
The bad news is that the patient whom you saved, Mr. John, hung himself in the bathroom, and died".

David replied, "Doctor he didn't hang himself, I hung him there to dry".