truckinbutch
Silver Member
Went out this evening to do the evening barn work.Weather change had all the critters in a foul mood.Stalled the milk cow and fed her,fed the pigs.One of the draft horses ,as I was bringing them in jammed me in the barn door opening and tore loose one of the gallus straps on my bib overalls;scuffed me up some.Got them fed and went back to do the milking.
The milk cow was grumpy and so was I by that point.I settled on the stool and leaned my forehead into her flank to start milking.The old rip promptly kicked me off the milking stool.
I got a rope and tied her hind foot back and reset the stool.When I settled in to resume milking she blasted me off the stool with the other hind foot.
A string of barn talk [profanity for y'all not country cultured] and another piece of rope and the other offending hind foot was secured.
Got back down on the stool and leaned in to her flank to get the milking chore done.With both hind legs tied back the old rip had one trick left.
She swiped her slimy manurecovered tail around the back of my head and slithered it down the side of my face and around the back of my neck!
I didn't take a club to her as was my first instinct.Instead,I got more rope,climbed on the milking stool behind her,and reached up to tie her tail to the ceiling.
Reaching over my head to tie the rope put too much strain on the remaining overall gallus and it snapped;dropping my overalls to my ankles and over the milking stool I was standing on....
That's when my Mother-in-law walked in the barn to see why I had been gone so long to do the evening work.
LORDY!!!I need alll y'all's help to convince that lady that I WAS JUST TRYING TO MILK THE DAMN COW!
The milk cow was grumpy and so was I by that point.I settled on the stool and leaned my forehead into her flank to start milking.The old rip promptly kicked me off the milking stool.
I got a rope and tied her hind foot back and reset the stool.When I settled in to resume milking she blasted me off the stool with the other hind foot.
A string of barn talk [profanity for y'all not country cultured] and another piece of rope and the other offending hind foot was secured.
Got back down on the stool and leaned in to her flank to get the milking chore done.With both hind legs tied back the old rip had one trick left.
She swiped her slimy manurecovered tail around the back of my head and slithered it down the side of my face and around the back of my neck!
I didn't take a club to her as was my first instinct.Instead,I got more rope,climbed on the milking stool behind her,and reached up to tie her tail to the ceiling.
Reaching over my head to tie the rope put too much strain on the remaining overall gallus and it snapped;dropping my overalls to my ankles and over the milking stool I was standing on....
That's when my Mother-in-law walked in the barn to see why I had been gone so long to do the evening work.
LORDY!!!I need alll y'all's help to convince that lady that I WAS JUST TRYING TO MILK THE DAMN COW!
