My Mom

[JOe L]

No matter how many times I read this it always puts a on my face.

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I OWE MY MOTHER:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE . "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION "You better pray that this will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL . "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC . " Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC . "If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT . "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY . "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS . "Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM . "Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. < B>My mother taught me about STAMINA "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER . "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY "If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION . "Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY . "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . "Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING . "You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE . "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP . "Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR . "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT . "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS . "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS . "Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM . "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about J USTICE "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you
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[Cynangyl]

We must have had the same mom because that sure sounds like mine!

 

[Needle]

God Bless those good Mothers, They are worth their weight in GOLD!

 

[Kentucky Kache]

God Bless those good Mothers, They are worth their weight in GOLD!

And then some.