txkickergirl
Silver Member
- Jan 4, 2007
- 2,782
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If You Can't Get a Real Job DC airport ticket agent offers some examples of
'why' our country is in trouble!
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so
that her
hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an
airplane!)
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I
started to explain the length of the flight and the passport
information,
then she interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but
Capetown is in Massachusetts .'' Without trying to make her look
stupid, I
calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in Africa .''
Her response - click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida
package we
did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He
said he was
expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since
Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, ''Don't lie to
me, I
looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!'' (OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, ''Is it
possible to see
England from Canada ?'' I said, ''No.'' She said, ''But they look
so close
on the map.'' (OMG, again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car
in Dallas . When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour
layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car,
he said,
''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between
gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was
possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago
at 8:33 a.m. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois but she
couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane
went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, ''Do airlines put your
physical
description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to
whom?'' I
said, 'No, why do you ask?' She replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the
airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I
think that's very rude!'' After putting her on hold for a minute,
while I
looked into it. (I was laughing). I came back and explained the
city code
for Fresno , CA is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline
was just
putting a destination tag on her luggage.
8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . After
going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to
fly to
California , and then take the train to Hawaii ?''
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, ''How do
I know which plane to get on?'' I asked him what exactly he meant, to which
he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of
these planes
have numbers on them.''
10. A lady Senator called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola
,
Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?'' I asked
if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane. She said,
''Yeah,
whatever, smarty!''
11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed
in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about
passports, I
reminded him that he needed a visa.' 'Oh, no I don't. I've been
to China
many times and never had to have one of those.'' I double checked
and sure
enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, ''Look, I've
been to China four times. and every time they have accepted my
American
Express!''
12. A New Mexico Congress woman called to make reservations, ''I want to go
from Chicago to Rhino, New York .'' I was at a loss for words.
Finally, I
said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?'' ''Yes, what
flights do
you have?'' replied the lady. After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm
sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country
and can't
find a rhino anywhere.' ''The lady retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone
knows where it is. Check your map!'' So I scoured a map of the state of New
York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do you?''
The reply?
''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.'' Now you know why the Government is
in the shape that it's in! Could anyone be this DUMB? YES, THEY
WALK AMONG
US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED!
'why' our country is in trouble!
1. I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so
that her
hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window. (On an
airplane!)
2. I got a call from a candidate's staffer, who wanted to go to Capetown. I
started to explain the length of the flight and the passport
information,
then she interrupted me with, ''I'm not trying to make you look stupid, but
Capetown is in Massachusetts .'' Without trying to make her look
stupid, I
calmly explained, ''Cape Cod is in Massachusetts , Capetown is in Africa .''
Her response - click.
3. A senior Vermont Congressman called, furious about a Florida
package we
did. I asked what was wrong with the vacation in Orlando . He
said he was
expecting an ocean-view room. I tried to explain that's not possible, since
Orlando is in the middle of the state. He replied, ''Don't lie to
me, I
looked on the map and Florida is a very thin state!'' (OMG)
4. I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, ''Is it
possible to see
England from Canada ?'' I said, ''No.'' She said, ''But they look
so close
on the map.'' (OMG, again!)
5. An aide for a cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car
in Dallas . When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour
layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car,
he said,
''I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between
gates to save time.'' (Aghhhh)
6. An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was
possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:30 a.m., and got to Chicago
at 8:33 a.m. I explained that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois but she
couldn't understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane
went fast, and she bought that.
7. A New York lawmaker called and asked, ''Do airlines put your
physical
description on your bag so they know whose luggage belongs to
whom?'' I
said, 'No, why do you ask?' She replied, ''Well, when I checked in with the
airline, they put a tag on my luggage that said (FAT), and I'm overweight. I
think that's very rude!'' After putting her on hold for a minute,
while I
looked into it. (I was laughing). I came back and explained the
city code
for Fresno , CA is (FAT - Fresno Air Terminal), and the airline
was just
putting a destination tag on her luggage.
8. A Senator's aide called to inquire about a trip package to Hawaii . After
going over all the cost info, she asked, ''Would it be cheaper to
fly to
California , and then take the train to Hawaii ?''
9. I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, ''How do
I know which plane to get on?'' I asked him what exactly he meant, to which
he replied, ''I was told my flight number is 823, but none of
these planes
have numbers on them.''
10. A lady Senator called and said, ''I need to fly to Pepsi-Cola
,
Florida . Do I have to get on one of those little computer planes?'' I asked
if she meant fly to Pensacola , FL on a commuter plane. She said,
''Yeah,
whatever, smarty!''
11. A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed
in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about
passports, I
reminded him that he needed a visa.' 'Oh, no I don't. I've been
to China
many times and never had to have one of those.'' I double checked
and sure
enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, ''Look, I've
been to China four times. and every time they have accepted my
American
Express!''
12. A New Mexico Congress woman called to make reservations, ''I want to go
from Chicago to Rhino, New York .'' I was at a loss for words.
Finally, I
said, ''Are you sure that's the name of the town?'' ''Yes, what
flights do
you have?'' replied the lady. After some searching, I came back with, ''I'm
sorry, ma'am, I've looked up every airport code in the country
and can't
find a rhino anywhere.' ''The lady retorted, ''Oh, don't be silly! Everyone
knows where it is. Check your map!'' So I scoured a map of the state of New
York and finally offered, ''You don't mean Buffalo , do you?''
The reply?
''Whatever! I knew it was a big animal.'' Now you know why the Government is
in the shape that it's in! Could anyone be this DUMB? YES, THEY
WALK AMONG
US, ARE IN POLITICS, AND THEY CONTINUE TO BREED!
