truckinbutch
Silver Member
The Methodist Conference decided to send us a new minister for our 6 church charge complete with a parsonage located beside the largest church where all parishoners gathered on occasions like welcoming a new preacher.
An auspicious occasion like this always includes a social after the services.
As the new minister and his wife are dressing for the first service she asks him what he plans to talk about.
"Since we don't know these folks,yet;I thought I'd speak on the subject of water skiing."
"That would embarass me so much that I will not even be party to the service! I'll just come down to the receiving line for the social after you are done making a fool out of yourself!"
The preacher had second thoughts about his sermon on the way down to the church and decided ,instead ,to deliver a sermon on sex.
He sweated and ranted and inspired to the point that the entire congregation was in his pocket by the time he signaled the sexton to ring the bell that the service was over and the congregation could exit the santuary and join the reception.
His dutiful,though miffed,wife was in attendance at the reception.
A group of widowed and spinster dowagers surounded her gushing about the fine sermon her husband had delivered to the congregation.
Unaware that he had changed his format after leaving the parsonage she grumped,
"Humph! And a lot he knows about it ,too ! He only tried it twice ! Once before we were married and once after and he fell off both times...."
Three of the old ladies fainted and one perished from a heart attack on the spot.....
An auspicious occasion like this always includes a social after the services.
As the new minister and his wife are dressing for the first service she asks him what he plans to talk about.
"Since we don't know these folks,yet;I thought I'd speak on the subject of water skiing."
"That would embarass me so much that I will not even be party to the service! I'll just come down to the receiving line for the social after you are done making a fool out of yourself!"
The preacher had second thoughts about his sermon on the way down to the church and decided ,instead ,to deliver a sermon on sex.
He sweated and ranted and inspired to the point that the entire congregation was in his pocket by the time he signaled the sexton to ring the bell that the service was over and the congregation could exit the santuary and join the reception.
His dutiful,though miffed,wife was in attendance at the reception.
A group of widowed and spinster dowagers surounded her gushing about the fine sermon her husband had delivered to the congregation.
Unaware that he had changed his format after leaving the parsonage she grumped,
"Humph! And a lot he knows about it ,too ! He only tried it twice ! Once before we were married and once after and he fell off both times...."
Three of the old ladies fainted and one perished from a heart attack on the spot.....
