old sayings please add yours

[savant365]

Dear old Dad always said I could tear up an anvil in a plowed field.

My personal favorite though is "no good deed goes unpunished"

 

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[simonds]

He or she looked like the north end of a horse heading south.

 

[AU24K]

A few more. I'm an old man and sometimes I think slowly...

Mom used to tell me how to deal with unpleasant or rude people; "You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar."

Some of my younger friends give me a ribbing about my age. I always tell them, "Yeah, I may be over the hill, but it's better than being under the hill."

If I find myself waiting for something or someone when I'm in an extreme hurry, it seems that they "are moving slower than molasses in January."

When someone does something that makes you just want to shake your head, I think to myself, "Did you just fall out of the stupid tree?"

Scott

 

[savant365]

"you're nuttier then squirrel turds"

 

[AU24K]

*BLINK!*
"We now resume normal programing..."(said when someone commits faux pas...)

Scott

 

[AU24K]

It's not "old time," but it's one I use occasionally that I came up with awhile ago is;
Don't play me like I just got here..."

Scott

 

[poorhunter78]

My brother used tell me "you could tear up an anvil with a rubber hammer".

this was dads thing.

Now i'm old and feeble my pilot light went out, What used to be my sex appeal is now my water spout, I used to be embarrased to make the thing behave, cause every single mornin it would stand and watch me shave, but now i'm old and feeble it sure gives me the blues to have the thing hang down my leg and watch me shine my shoes.......

 

[truckinbutch]

In response to an offer of food or drink :
No thanks , I just had a bar of soap and I wouldn't want to spoil the taste .

 

[stefen]

Words to impress on the first date:

The Mercedes is paid for,
those are my real teeth, and
honestly, its only a cold sore

 

[Mental Granny]

Quick put your head under the covers... I'm gonna spit straight up in the air!

Son come here and pull this finger for me its stuck!

 

[Woodland Detectors]

My Dad once told me, "Boy, there's some people in this world that's real fast. Then there's people who aren't as fast. You, you're in the middle; you're half-fast.

Scott

HA! good one

 

[Woodland Detectors]

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Ben Franklin (1706-1790)

(2) Do what you think is right in your heart. You'll be criticized anyway

 

[kawalabear]

dumber than dirt

luckier than a 3 pecker billy goat

were did they getim' from

don't get your panties in a bunch

i landscape and i heard my old boss tell one of the guys : you work harder trying to get out of work than working

if you set your purse on the floor you will stay broke

up that unsanitary body of water without the proper means of transportation

when something taste good : my tongue is about to beat my head to death

 

[kawalabear]

jerk a knock a knot on your head and dare it to raise

knock knots on your head faster than you can rub them

that was so nasty i had to bit a dog in the a$$ to get the taste out of my mouth.

hotter than a half "fondled" fox in a Forest fire

why am i in this hand basket? and why is it so hot?

to someone who talks a lot ; when you die someone is gonna have to take a stick and beat your gums to death

 

[simonds]

If it ain't broke, don't fix it

 

[poorhunter78]

to someone who talks a lot ; when you die someone is gonna have to take a stick and beat your gums to death



dad always said " yer mouth runs faster than a bell flapper on a duck's azz."

I wear shorts a lot so when I go out someone always asks me. " Are those your legs or are you riden a chicken."


when someone has the door open in winter time. " Close that pneumonia hole."



If your in a serious arguement " you better turn yer volume down for I really get mad."

 

[Mental Granny]

To the kid who wants to drink coffee..... Don't cha know that stuff will stunt your growth! and if its a girl mainly
That suff will put hair on your chest!


Quit flappin yur gums......


Oh just quit your belly achin..... I had to walk to school..... everyday.......3 miles...........in the snow .......... uphill...... both ways !

You think money grows on trees ?

 

[stefen]

HORSE FEATHERS

Can be either fetlock hair known as feathers

or newborns have a primative feather-like protective material that has the appearance of feather.

 

[Jeep]

Your as useless as the Pope's Testicles

 

[Mental Granny]

Be careful your as graceful as a bull in a china shop!