What do penny candy, bad movies have in common?
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  1. #1
    us
    Jul 2009
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    What do penny candy, bad movies have in common?

    Absolutely nothing... That is until I take all of Dano's earlier suggestions from another post and combine them into one, right here!!!! In order to keep a better flow, I have remove 2 other ideas from the mess to make this work. But flow it shall....

    Bad movies: Are they really that bad? These are movies that you love to hate, or just plain old hate loving them. You can surely think of a title with no problem, but this post is not about naming a movie, rather everything else involved in it.. You have little idea how much work goes into making a bad movie.

    I have to consider myself as a guide today and I'm about to show you how to identify these movies. Trust me, no one likes really avoiding a bad movie because it gives you so much more to talk about. We'll start by breaking a movie down, from title, to plot, cast, direction, etc.... The following will teach you how to quickly identify and spot these little gems in a heartbeat.

    Title: This is a key element and will speak volumes of the movie
    1- Amount of words in the title... The more words, the worse the movie in most cases. Look for a title that has a minimum of 5 words example "Plan 9 From Outer Space" see 5 words and a bad movie. Now take "The Attack of The Killer Tomatoes" 6 words and even a worse movie. May I suggest just looking for movies with over 6 words in the title and you have a sure winner. Once a title hits 10 words, you have already read the book, so you can skip the movie. :icon_thumleft:
    2- title content... Look for key words in the title like, tomato,
    Misspelled words.. Clownz, Boyz any word with a Z at the end
    Made up Words: Jumanji, Zardoz note: Zardoz fits 2 descriptions ;D

    Cover
    1- some kids doodling
    2- 1/2 cartoon and 1/2 real
    3- just the title... too many words
    4- a large group of people fleeing some kind of monster
    5- anything that has a majority of the cast on the cover, even if they are playing 2 roles
    6- anything containing your house, or neighborhood in it

    Cast:
    1- No one you ever saw before
    2- You and perhaps some neighbors
    3- Students from High School, or college
    4- and my personal favorite..... the homeless

    Plot: simple anything with the following keywords
    invasion, plot, plan, thriller etc....

    Description:
    1- Sit on the edge of your seat
    2- have to close your eyes - always wondered why.. I think I would miss the movie
    3- Just like (insert title) usually another bad movie
    4- Don't give away the surprise ending... I just love that one, so don't get me started

    Location... yup, just like buying a house - location, location, location
    1- A ghetto, or ghost town
    2- A vacant lot
    3- Anything outside of Hollywood and no real set

    Director
    1- college student needs credit for his film course
    1- has one body part, or another in every other scene

    Candy in the movie world

    Ahhh, now what to eat during a bad movie. The choice of course is always the viewer's, but I do have some simply suggestions to better help you through the movie

    1- Jawbreaker's They will last a whole movie unless yo try and chew one. The you may end up with a chipped, cracked, or broken tooth, or teeth
    2- Having company??? It's more fun having friends over to share the pain of the movie. An old time favorite in this case is Ju-Ju Beads. Not only do they last, but they are great for tossing into the back of someone's head at the right moment in a horror flick
    3- Rasinettes This is an acceptable substitute for Ju-Ju Beads when hitting a woman. They'll understand
    4- Snowcaps These are great to nibble on during a thriller.

    We may have rain over this weekend, so I suggest you rush to your local shop and rent one. While you're out hit the supermarket and stock up on some candy..

    Enjoy the weekend, I have already made my selection and I hope you enjoy yours. So I hope you found this little guide helpful in your quest for the perfect bad movie

  2. #2
    us
    Wheres The Gold

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    Re: What do penny candy, bad movies have in common?

    Yea, but there are some great movies with fewer than 6 words, one is "Dutch", we could see that one over and over again! And then there is "Forrest Gump", "Avatar" "16 Candles is Reds favorite. And then you can't forget the popcorn and drinks! LOL
    "It cant Always Be Silver Or Gold But It Is A Hell Of an Experience Pulling It Out Of the Dirt"

    Metal detecting is Like A Marathon, Your Running fast then start Slowing A Bit The You Find Something Interesting And You Pick Up the Pace!!! The Only Difference is If You Are Addicted to this Hobby there Is NO FINISH LINE HH Chug And Red

  3. #3
    us
    Jul 2009
    Whiting, NJ
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    Re: What do penny candy, bad movies have in common?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chug and Red
    Yea, but there are some great movies with fewer than 6 words, one is "Dutch", we could see that one over and over again! And then there is "Forrest Gump", "Avatar" "16 Candles is Reds favorite. And then you can't forget the popcorn and drinks! LOL
    A quick look at your nickname and I'm surprised that you didn't mention the movie "Reds", after all we are talking about bad movies

  4. #4
    us
    Wheres The Gold

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    Re: What do penny candy, bad movies have in common?

    Oh yea, that was a bad one LOL
    "It cant Always Be Silver Or Gold But It Is A Hell Of an Experience Pulling It Out Of the Dirt"

    Metal detecting is Like A Marathon, Your Running fast then start Slowing A Bit The You Find Something Interesting And You Pick Up the Pace!!! The Only Difference is If You Are Addicted to this Hobby there Is NO FINISH LINE HH Chug And Red

  5. #5
    us
    Jul 2009
    Whiting, NJ
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    Re: What do penny candy, bad movies have in common?

    Keep this formula in mind on titles
    1- 1 word, bad
    2- 2 words, very bad
    3- 3 words, garbage
    4- 4-7 words, terrible
    5- 8 words and over ----- Must see!!!

  6. #6
    Charter Member
    us
    Watch For Motorcycles

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    Re: What do penny candy, bad movies have in common?

    Quote Originally Posted by spartacus53
    Title: This is a key element and will speak volumes of the movie
    1- Amount of words in the title... The more words, the worse the movie in most cases. Look for a title that has a minimum of 5 words example "Plan 9 From Outer Space" see 5 words and a bad movie. Now take "The Attack of The Killer Tomatoes" 6 words and even a worse movie. May I suggest just looking for movies with over 6 words in the title and you have a sure winner. Once a title hits 10 words, you have already read the book, so you can skip the movie.
    Then how do you explain Ishtar and Xanadu?
    Watch for Motorcycles

  7. #7
    us
    Jul 2009
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    Re: What do penny candy, bad movies have in common?

    Quote Originally Posted by GopherDaGold

    Then how do you explain Ishtar and Xanadu?
    Just that, "bad" the other movies are by far worse.. That is why there is a table above. Sometimes things to go awry, but that is why you use the other pointers as well in your choosing a movie. Look for all the negatives in all the above categories and you have a real winning "loser"

  8. #8
    gb
    Aug 2009
    SWEDEN
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    Re: What do penny candy, bad movies have in common?

    4- a large group of people feeling some kind of monster

    Can't stop laughing! Does that include "porn"...or was it supposed to be "fleeing"? lol.

    "All you ever wanted to know about sex but were too afraid to ask"! I #@ing hate Woody Allen!

  9. #9
    us
    Wheres The Gold

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    Re: What do penny candy, bad movies have in common?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dano Sverige
    4- a large group of people feeling some kind of monster

    Can't stop laughing! Does that include "porn"...or was it supposed to be "fleeing"? lol.

    "All you ever wanted to know about sex but were too afraid to ask"! I #@ing hate Woody Allen!
    I hear ya, can't stand the so called man, and wish he would leave show business, grrrrr
    "It cant Always Be Silver Or Gold But It Is A Hell Of an Experience Pulling It Out Of the Dirt"

    Metal detecting is Like A Marathon, Your Running fast then start Slowing A Bit The You Find Something Interesting And You Pick Up the Pace!!! The Only Difference is If You Are Addicted to this Hobby there Is NO FINISH LINE HH Chug And Red

  10. #10
    us
    Jul 2009
    Whiting, NJ
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    Re: What do penny candy, bad movies have in common?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dano Sverige
    4- a large group of people feeling some kind of monster

    Can't stop laughing! Does that include "porn"...or was it supposed to be "fleeing"? lol.

    "All you ever wanted to know about sex but were too afraid to ask"! I #@ing hate Woody Allen!
    Nice catch, the editor was on lunch and will be dealt with accordingly. Actually feeling does sound funnier.. Oh well, I already made the edit...

  11. #11
    us
    Wheres The Gold

    Feb 2010
    Vancouver WA
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    Re: What do penny candy, bad movies have in common?

    I just thought of another bad movie, Juno, kept falling asleep during it
    "It cant Always Be Silver Or Gold But It Is A Hell Of an Experience Pulling It Out Of the Dirt"

    Metal detecting is Like A Marathon, Your Running fast then start Slowing A Bit The You Find Something Interesting And You Pick Up the Pace!!! The Only Difference is If You Are Addicted to this Hobby there Is NO FINISH LINE HH Chug And Red

  12. #12
    us
    Jul 2009
    Whiting, NJ
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    Re: What do penny candy, bad movies have in common?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chug and Red
    I just thought of another bad movie, Juno, kept falling asleep during it
    Ahhh, there is a difference here between bad and boring... Boring is another category and could use a post of its own.. I fell asleep 3 times to 1 word titles.. The first and 2nd were the same movie "Firefox"
    Although it was a good movie, we saw this on a cruise after dinner. I guess the motion just rocked me to sleep. When we got home, we had rented it a few month's later and I think I fell asleep around the same point as the first time. I have never attempted to watch it again. The second was "Cocolat", a girl I was dating wanted to see it, I was out in about 45 minutes. I think she enjoyed the movie, but I know we didn't talk about it later... "Random Hearts" and "Bridges of Madison County", are a tie. I was out in under 15 minutes for both. So there is a difference between bad & boring

  13. #13
    us
    Nov 2004
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    Re: What do penny candy, bad movies have in common?

    The title of this threw me.When I first read it I immediately thought of a saturday afternoon three B westerns,two serials,and three cartoons and admission was a dime.Showing my age again,I guess.

  14. #14
    us
    Jul 2009
    Whiting, NJ
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    Re: What do penny candy, bad movies have in common?

    Quote Originally Posted by warsawdaddy
    The title of this threw me.When I first read it I immediately thought of a saturday afternoon three B westerns,two serials,and three cartoons and admission was a dime.Showing my age again,I guess.
    Yes you did. I can see you were one of the first to see the "talkies" I grew up a bit later, the days of the short, and double feature.

    The one thing that is always a constant is that "bad" movies, are "bad" movies no matter what yesr they were made.

  15. #15
    us
    The Lord Has Risen

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    Re: What do penny candy, bad movies have in common?

    I think tomorrow I am going to start a marathon of "TREMORS" but, my candy melted on the way home!
    This is the day the Lord hath made we shall rejoice and be glad in it!

 

 
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