Ray S S
Silver Member
The Kohl's Shopping Bag
Here is an email that is kinda funny and it says it could only be true, you simply can't make this stuff up.
I have no idea who wrote it. It goes as follows......
The Kohl's Shopping Trip
Clutching their Kohl's shopping bags, Ellen and Kay woefully gazed down at a dead cat on the mall parking
lot. Obviously a fresh hit... no flies, no smell. "What business could have that poor cat have had out here
in the parking lot?" murmured Ellen.
"Come on, Ellen, let's go," Kay said quietly.
But Ellen had already grabbed her shopping bag and was explaining, "I'll just put my things in your bag... and..
then I'll use this tissue...."She dumped her purchases into Kay's bag and then used the tissue paper to cradle
and lower the former feline into her own Kohl's bag and cover it.
They continued their short trek to the car in silence, stashing their goods in the trunk. But it occurred to both
of them that if they left Ellen's burial bag in the trunk, warmed by the Texas sunshine while they ate, Kay's
new Lumina would lose it's new-car smell.
They decided to leave the bag on top of the trunk, and they headed over to the K & W Cafeteria. They went
through the serving line and sat down at a window table. They had a view of Kay's Chevy with the Kohl's
bag still on the trunk.
But not for long! As they ate, they noticed a woman in a red gingham shirt stroll by their car. She looked
quickly this way and that, and then grabbed the bag without breaking stride. She quickly walked out of
their line of vision....Kay and Ellen shot each other a wide-eyed look of amazement.
It all happened so fast that neither of them could think how to respond. "Can you imagine?" finally sputtered
Ellen. "The nerve of that woman!"
Kay sympathized with Ellen, but inwardly a laugh was building as she thought about the grand surprise
awaiting the female thief.
Just when she thought she'd have to giggle into her napkin, she noticed Ellen's eyes freeze in the direction
of the serving line. Following her gaze, Kay recognized the woman in the red gingham shirt with the Kohl's
bag hanging from her arm. She was brazenly pushing her tray toward the cashier.
Helplessly they watched the scene unfold:
After leaving the register, the woman settled at a table across from their's, put the bag on an empty chair,
and began to eat.
After a few bites of baked Whitefish and green beans, she casually lifted the bag into her lap to survey
her treasure. Looking from side to side, but not enough to notice her rapt audience three tables over,
she pulled out the tissue paper and peered into the bag.
Her eyes widened, and she began to make a sort of a gasping noise. The noise grew. The bag slid from
her lap as she sank to the floor, wheezing and clutching her upper chest. The beverage cart attendant
quickly recognized a customer in trouble and sent the busboy to call 911, while she administered the
Heimlich Maneuver.
A crowd soon gathered that did not include Ellen and Kay, who remained riveted to their chairs for seven
whole minutes until the ambulance arrived. In a matter of minutes, the woman with the red gingham
shirt emerged, still gasping, and securely strapped on a gurney.
Two well-trained EMT volunteers steered her to the waiting ambulance, while a third scooped up her
belongings. The last they saw of the distressed cat-burglar was as she disappeared behind the
ambulance doors.... The Kohl's bag perched on her stomach.
God does take care of those who do bad things! AND once in a while, he allows us to witness,
Here is an email that is kinda funny and it says it could only be true, you simply can't make this stuff up.
I have no idea who wrote it. It goes as follows......
The Kohl's Shopping Trip
Clutching their Kohl's shopping bags, Ellen and Kay woefully gazed down at a dead cat on the mall parking
lot. Obviously a fresh hit... no flies, no smell. "What business could have that poor cat have had out here
in the parking lot?" murmured Ellen.
"Come on, Ellen, let's go," Kay said quietly.
But Ellen had already grabbed her shopping bag and was explaining, "I'll just put my things in your bag... and..
then I'll use this tissue...."She dumped her purchases into Kay's bag and then used the tissue paper to cradle
and lower the former feline into her own Kohl's bag and cover it.
They continued their short trek to the car in silence, stashing their goods in the trunk. But it occurred to both
of them that if they left Ellen's burial bag in the trunk, warmed by the Texas sunshine while they ate, Kay's
new Lumina would lose it's new-car smell.
They decided to leave the bag on top of the trunk, and they headed over to the K & W Cafeteria. They went
through the serving line and sat down at a window table. They had a view of Kay's Chevy with the Kohl's
bag still on the trunk.
But not for long! As they ate, they noticed a woman in a red gingham shirt stroll by their car. She looked
quickly this way and that, and then grabbed the bag without breaking stride. She quickly walked out of
their line of vision....Kay and Ellen shot each other a wide-eyed look of amazement.
It all happened so fast that neither of them could think how to respond. "Can you imagine?" finally sputtered
Ellen. "The nerve of that woman!"
Kay sympathized with Ellen, but inwardly a laugh was building as she thought about the grand surprise
awaiting the female thief.
Just when she thought she'd have to giggle into her napkin, she noticed Ellen's eyes freeze in the direction
of the serving line. Following her gaze, Kay recognized the woman in the red gingham shirt with the Kohl's
bag hanging from her arm. She was brazenly pushing her tray toward the cashier.
Helplessly they watched the scene unfold:
After leaving the register, the woman settled at a table across from their's, put the bag on an empty chair,
and began to eat.
After a few bites of baked Whitefish and green beans, she casually lifted the bag into her lap to survey
her treasure. Looking from side to side, but not enough to notice her rapt audience three tables over,
she pulled out the tissue paper and peered into the bag.
Her eyes widened, and she began to make a sort of a gasping noise. The noise grew. The bag slid from
her lap as she sank to the floor, wheezing and clutching her upper chest. The beverage cart attendant
quickly recognized a customer in trouble and sent the busboy to call 911, while she administered the
Heimlich Maneuver.
A crowd soon gathered that did not include Ellen and Kay, who remained riveted to their chairs for seven
whole minutes until the ambulance arrived. In a matter of minutes, the woman with the red gingham
shirt emerged, still gasping, and securely strapped on a gurney.
Two well-trained EMT volunteers steered her to the waiting ambulance, while a third scooped up her
belongings. The last they saw of the distressed cat-burglar was as she disappeared behind the
ambulance doors.... The Kohl's bag perched on her stomach.
God does take care of those who do bad things! AND once in a while, he allows us to witness,
Thanks for your reply.
![:-\](https://www.treasurenet.com/smilies/undecided.gif "Undecided :-\")
