Opening Lines.....

[AU24K]

remember AU
beauty is in the eye of the beholder....you could be a troll and some gal might think you are the most handsome man on the planet

and a bankful of cash don't hurt !! (jk)

Great.
NOW I'm REALLY in trouble...

Best,
Scott

 

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[FarmerChick]

nah, you are just waiting to hit that huge metal detecting treasure. it will come!

 

[Smudge]

"Ok, first off, are there any restraining orders against you?"

 

[packerbacker]

First of all, RED, you are on a 30-minute time-out so get in the corner.
One place I shop quite often is Tractor Supply. A lot of you city slicks may not have even heard of them. Thing is, I buy chicken feed, horse feed, cattle feed, dog and cat food, garden supplies and wild bird seed at that store along with other ranch supplies. The women that shop there are usually getting the same types of supplies so you can always find an opening line just asking about their livestock. There are a LOT of pluses with these women. You know they are in good shape and willing to work when you see them hossing 60-lb sacks of feed onto their carts without struggling. You would guess they enjoy the simple life and the outdoors. They probably like animals and would have at least one dog. They let you take your pets into this store and you should see how much the ladies pay attention to you when you walk in with a Yellow Lab puppy on a leash. You don't put all that feed into the trunk of a Honda. The lady has a truck and 50/50 says it's a 4X4. (Great for hunting and pulling your boat or camper). Then, she probably has a spread. No Spart, relax, I mean property. You can't raise beef in your backyard. Another plus is, shopping at these types of stores, as you check out the backside you can often see her name on the back of her belt. If you can't get a conversation going given all this knowledge, you're hopeless. Even a "Troll" would do well.

 

[Dano Sverige]

My ex husbands line was "I'm having a baby elephant, wanna see the trunk?" Red

Works better when you pull the linings of your pants pockets out and say "well there are the ears...and here's the trunk!"

 

[RGINN]

Are those real tattoos, or the kind that you can lick off?

 

[Chug And Red]

My ex husbands line was "I'm having a baby elephant, wanna see the trunk?" Red

Works better when you pull the linings of your pants pockets out and say "well there are the ears...and here's the trunk!"

Except When your digging In your Pant and pulling Out your Pockets!!! She most likely is watching For the Green stuff Falling out No not lint Money!!! HH and Good luck Chug

Note Red is waiting to see My comment Before she Posts!!!! Love ya Red Sorry there is No Money Today!!!!LMAO Chug ( I going to get slapped for this One ) Its worth it!!!!

 

[Chug And Red]

My ex husbands line was "I'm having a baby elephant, wanna see the trunk?" Red

Works better when you pull the linings of your pants pockets out and say "well there are the ears...and here's the trunk!"

Except When your digging In your Pant and pulling Out your Pockets!!! She most likely is watching For the Green stuff Falling out No not lint Money!!! HH and Good luck Chug

Note Red is waiting to see My comment Before she Posts!!!! Love ya Red Sorry there is No Money Today!!!!LMAO Chug ( I going to get slapped for this One ) Its worth it!!!!

Guess I don't need to check your pockets then, unless you want me to! Red

 

[AU24K]

My ex husbands line was "I'm having a baby elephant, wanna see the trunk?" Red

Works better when you pull the linings of your pants pockets out and say "well there are the ears...and here's the trunk!"

Except When your digging In your Pant and pulling Out your Pockets!!! She most likely is watching For the Green stuff Falling out No not lint Money!!! HH and Good luck Chug

Note Red is waiting to see My comment Before she Posts!!!! Love ya Red Sorry there is No Money Today!!!!LMAO Chug ( I going to get slapped for this One ) Its worth it!!!!

Guess I don't need to check your pockets then, unless you want me to! Red

All right, you two. Get a room...
------------------
I was at the post office checking my mail today, when, walking back to the entrance with a handful of mail,
I saw a Beauty and said,
"Boy, these credit card companies are wasting their time on me. If they only knew...."



Seems I've let loose too much info, according to FarmerChick, about my finances.

I did recieve the best smile of the day, though....

Best,
Scott​

 

[AU24K]

I was at the post office checking my mail today, when, walking back to the entrance with a handful of mail,
I saw a Beauty and said,
"Boy, these credit card companies are wasting their time on me. If they only knew...."



Seems I've let loose too much info, according to FarmerChick, about my finances.

I did recieve the best smile of the day, though....

Best,
Scott
​

ADDED: I guess that was better than commenting on the AARP application...

Best,
Scott​

 

[pat-tekker-cat]

Spart, I would like you to pm me that lists, see how many I can mark off, that have already been tryed! LOL!
rginn, that was cute!
Ya'll all too much!


I find for me, this works pretty good!

Hey!
But there are certain nuances, that don't translate into words.

 

[GopherDaGold]

Mine: Say sweetie, didn't we go to different schools together?

 

[pat-tekker-cat]

Hey gopher, if that was you below the rocking happy cat, that wasn't a fart,
that was a cat-poop! Didn't you recognize it! LOL! sorry, well anyway................

A warning! Anytime you posts up under the cat, you the litter box! LOL!
Watch out! hehehehehe Got litter? LOL! sorry
all in fun, friend!

 

[AU24K]

Hey gopher, if that was you below the rocking happy cat, that wasn't a fart,
that was a cat-poop! Didn't you recognize it! LOL! sorry, well anyway................

A warning! Anytime you posts up under the cat, you the litter box! LOL!
Watch out! hehehehehe Got litter? LOL! sorry
all in fun, friend!

I LOVE cats!
I've cleaned many a litter box. Your's is just one more. 8)

My Best,
Scott

 

[pat-tekker-cat]

The cat loves you too, AU24K!
Thank you!

 

[truckinbutch]

Singles bar scene :
Race horse comes in with her 'not so much' race horse friends . She brought them to bolster her ego and be 'PICKY'.
IGNORE her . Focus on the 'least 'race horse of the group . Buy her drinks and dance with her exclusively for the evening . Chances are that you will go home with a newfound friend and be served a fine breakfast in the morning .............
Next weekend the race horse will break her back trying to outdo her friend that was supposed to make her look good .
The choice is then your option ........................

 

[GunFarce]

The one that always works is:
"Excuse me Miss... Does this cloth smell like chloroform"?

 

[Chug And Red]

My ex husbands line was "I'm having a baby elephant, wanna see the trunk?" Red

Works better when you pull the linings of your pants pockets out and say "well there are the ears...and here's the trunk!"

Except When your digging In your Pant and pulling Out your Pockets!!! She most likely is watching For the Green stuff Falling out No not lint Money!!! HH and Good luck Chug

Note Red is waiting to see My comment Before she Posts!!!! Love ya Red Sorry there is No Money Today!!!!LMAO Chug ( I going to get slapped for this One ) Its worth it!!!!

Guess I don't need to check your pockets then, unless you want me to! Red

All right, you two. Get a room...
------------------
I was at the post office checking my mail today, when, walking back to the entrance with a handful of mail,
I saw a Beauty and said,
"Boy, these credit card companies are wasting their time on me. If they only knew...."



Seems I've let loose too much info, according to FarmerChick, about my finances.

I did recieve the best smile of the day, though....

Best,
Scott
​

Ok!!! LOL can you believe we have been married for 16 and a half years! What can I say, we love each other!!!! Oh, anyone have money for a room? LMBO!!!! Red ​