On my mind

jgowans

Full Member
Sep 19, 2008
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Ellicott City, MD
Have you ever had a poignant moment in your life you just cannot forget?
I would like to share one I experienced recently and get your thoughts.

I was driving home from work and depending on traffic I can take the interstate or the back roads. This day traffic was bad everywhere and even the back roads were clogged. It had been a busy day at work and my thoughts were just on getting home and relaxing before doing it all over again the next day.

My route this evening took me past a large cemetery. I have passed it many times and have seen people placing flowers, fresh plots dug, and holiday decorations throughout the year. There was nothing special about this day, a little gray and damp but nothing special. As I drove past I noticed an older pickup parked on the inner road and then the owner of the vehicle. There I saw an older gentleman sitting at a grave site, cross legged Indian style. He was a grizzled looking fellow who appeared to have worked hard all of his life. But there he was sitting in the damp grass. I have no idea who he was there to visit or the circumstances that brought him there. My first reaction was to let my foot off the gas and pull in the gate. I really felt the need to learn more. But I will never know. Traffic behind me pushed me on, I just wanted to get home and relax, and it really wasn't any of my business.

But if things had been different and I followed my human instinct and pulled in, stopped to share that quiet moment with the old fellow, who knows I could have been the better person for it. I have been thinking this past month about that gentleman and his circumstance. Was that his wife, child, parent or just a friend? What was the bond that lead him to go back and sit there to visit? Would he have welcomed another human there to lean on or share the memories of the one who past? And the saddest thought was if he was unable to cope with the loss and looking for support.

But I will never know. Because in our busy lives we rarely slow down to observe and help each other out. I still drive by that cemetery and keep an eye out for him. I can guarantee you that I will not make that same mistake twice. If by chance he is there again, I will stop. I do not know what I will say if anything. But I feel the overwhelming need to just be there. I hope this will open your eyes to opportunities to grow as a person, to slow down and help each other out. Death is easy, Life is hard.
JG

Update: I ran across an elderly gentleman the other day that lost someone recently. He mentioned that he often goes to her grave and just sits. I know it wasn't the same man but it shows that it is a common occurrence.
 

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Frankn

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Don't! When I visit with my wife at her grave on our farm, I just want solitude. My mind seams to leave my body and for an instant we are one again. Just my thought, Frank
 

FarmerChick

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I understand 'the need and the draw'. That feeling of wanting to share and help and be close to another. But cemetary time is truly personal in a way. I would think many people might find it as an intrusion.

maybe find another outlet for your wanting to contribute and be useful. soup kitchen volunteer or something....just to kinda give something of yourself to others. When you feel that need you do need to move forward on those feelings. It is a good thing. I am sure many people who require a soup kitchen help would love to share stories and feelings and want a connection.

I don't know, just throwing out some thoughts lol
 

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jgowans

jgowans

Full Member
Sep 19, 2008
209
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Ellicott City, MD
Update: I ran across an elderly gentleman the other day that lost someone recently. He mentioned that he often goes to her grave and just sits. I know it wasn't the same man but it shows that it is a common occurrence.
 

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