The New Alphabet

[Ray S S]

Here is something from an email.


A is for apple, and B is for boat,
That used to be right, but now it won't float!
Age before beauty is what we once said,
But let's be a bit more realistic instead.

Now, THE NEW ALPHABET

A's for arthritis; B's the bad back, C's the chest pains, perhaps cardiac?
D is for dental, decay and decline, E is for eyesight, can't read that top line.

F is for Fissures and fluid retention, G is for gas, which I'd rather not mention,
H is high blood pressure; I'd rather it low; I is for incissions with scars you can show.

J is for joints; out of socket;won't mend, K is for knees that crack when they bend,
L's for libido, what happened to sex? M's for memory, I forgot what comes next.

N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low, O is osteo; bones that don't grow.
P is prescriptions, I have quite a few; just give me a pill, and I'll be good as new.

Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu? R is for reflux; one meal turns to two.
S is for sleepless nights, counting my fears, T is for Tinnitus; bells in my ears.

U is for urinary, troubles with flow, V for vertigo, that's 'dizzy', you know.
W for worry, now what's going round, X is for X ray, and what might be found.
Y for another year I'm left here behind, Z is for zest I still have-- in my mind!!

I've survived all the symtoms, my body's deployed,
And I'm keeping twenty six doctors fully employed!!

HAVE A GREAT DAY

[Unicorn]

Ain't that just the truth ...

[Likely Guy]

V is for vertigo?

A friend of mine was over at his dad's place a few days ago while an older friend of his dad was also there. The two old boys were conversing and somehow the topic of 'Viagra' came up and neither could remember the name of the particular pill.

In frustration, Bruce (the older of the two) said, "You know... that stuff that puts lead in your pencil!"

After a pause Bruce adds, "Why do I care about that? I'm not writing anybody."

[Ray S S]

Unicorn, Yup, sure enough is.

Likely Guy, HMMM, yeah, Viagra could have been a real funny one if written right.

The answer that the guy came back with about the pencil is pretti quick-witted and funny.

Thanks to both of you for you replies.

Ray

[RGINN]

Pretty cool Ray. I shall save this for when I get old someday for reference. (haha!)

[Ray S S]

RGINN that idea sounds like a winner. LOL. Ray