How To Catch Bigfoot

bigscoop

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From Dr. Diggings;

Bigfoot. He's recently been spotted again. Sure, I know what you're thinking. You're probably thinking that he took a break from his winter hibernation, decided to vacation in Prospect Park, in Brooklyn, New York. Why not.

Now a lot of folks think Bigfoot is a complete hoax, seems odd that nobody knows how to catch the damn thing. I mean it's not like we're dealing with King Kong here. But just in case, has anyone tried luring him in with a beautiful blond? I didn't think so. Nope, it seems everyone thinks they have to chase this mysterious creature around, like that's not going to scare the hell out of him. I gotta tell you, if I knew there were people in the woods looking for samples of my poop it would sure scare the hell out me.

When I was a kid I tried to catch the tooth-fairy once, and I did. I accomplished this by making sure everyone knew that I was going to put my tooth under the pillow that night and then I simply put a mousetrap under that pillow instead, pretended to be asleep with my head off of the pillow. Later that night I hear, Wham! “Ship!” Mousetrap broke mom's finger. Tooth fairy my a$$! Not everyday you break someone's finger, prove them to be a big liar, and get paid for doing it.

So who are these geniuses chasing Bigfoot around and hoping to find some of his poop? I mean, how do they even know what Bigfoot poop looks like? If Bigfoot is real then why hasn't anyone been able to find his poop sample? I mean chasing him around like that they've surely had to scare it out of him at some point.

What I would like to say to these people is this, “Catching Bigfoot doesn't have to be that complicated. All you need is a hot looking blond who's willing to entertain a giant monkey.” That's it. I've watched the movie and that's all you need. Just tie her to a post and start banging on some drums and if Bigfoot is out there he'll come running. You don't need to go hiking through the tundras in search of that illusive Bigfoot poop. A lot of struggling actresses out there, so just go hire one. And that's all I have to say about it.
 

Rebel - KGC

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From Dr. Diggings;

Bigfoot. He's recently been spotted again. Sure, I know what you're thinking. You're probably thinking that he took a break from his winter hibernation, decided to vacation in Prospect Park, in Brooklyn, New York. Why not.

Now a lot of folks think Bigfoot is a complete hoax, seems odd that nobody knows how to catch the damn thing. I mean it's not like we're dealing with King Kong here. But just in case, has anyone tried luring him in with a beautiful blond? I didn't think so. Nope, it seems everyone thinks they have to chase this mysterious creature around, like that's not going to scare the hell out of him. I gotta tell you, if I knew there were people in the woods looking for samples of my poop it would sure scare the hell out me.

When I was a kid I tried to catch the tooth-fairy once, and I did. I accomplished this by making sure everyone knew that I was going to put my tooth under the pillow that night and then I simply put a mousetrap under that pillow instead, pretended to be asleep with my head off of the pillow. Later that night I hear, Wham! “Ship!” Mousetrap broke mom's finger. Tooth fairy my a$$! Not everyday you break someone's finger, prove them to be a big liar, and get paid for doing it.

So who are these geniuses chasing Bigfoot around and hoping to find some of his poop? I mean, how do they even know what Bigfoot poop looks like? If Bigfoot is real then why hasn't anyone been able to find his poop sample? I mean chasing him around like that they've surely had to scare it out of him at some point.

What I would like to say to these people is this, “Catching Bigfoot doesn't have to be that complicated. All you need is a hot looking blond who's willing to entertain a giant monkey.” That's it. I've watched the movie and that's all you need. Just tie her to a post and start banging on some drums and if Bigfoot is out there he'll come running. You don't need to go hiking through the tundras in search of that illusive Bigfoot poop. A lot of struggling actresses out there, so just go hire one. And that's all I have to say about it.

HA! NOW IS THE TIME! "Rutting Season"... knock on some trees, & give "mating calls"!
 

Last edited:

JRedHorse

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From Dr. Diggings;

Bigfoot. He's recently been spotted again. Sure, I know what you're thinking. You're probably thinking that he took a break from his winter hibernation, decided to vacation in Prospect Park, in Brooklyn, New York. Why not.

Now a lot of folks think Bigfoot is a complete hoax, seems odd that nobody knows how to catch the damn thing. I mean it's not like we're dealing with King Kong here. But just in case, has anyone tried luring him in with a beautiful blond? I didn't think so. Nope, it seems everyone thinks they have to chase this mysterious creature around, like that's not going to scare the hell out of him. I gotta tell you, if I knew there were people in the woods looking for samples of my poop it would sure scare the hell out me.

When I was a kid I tried to catch the tooth-fairy once, and I did. I accomplished this by making sure everyone knew that I was going to put my tooth under the pillow that night and then I simply put a mousetrap under that pillow instead, pretended to be asleep with my head off of the pillow. Later that night I hear, Wham! “Ship!” Mousetrap broke mom's finger. Tooth fairy my a$$! Not everyday you break someone's finger, prove them to be a big liar, and get paid for doing it.

So who are these geniuses chasing Bigfoot around and hoping to find some of his poop? I mean, how do they even know what Bigfoot poop looks like? If Bigfoot is real then why hasn't anyone been able to find his poop sample? I mean chasing him around like that they've surely had to scare it out of him at some point.

What I would like to say to these people is this, “Catching Bigfoot doesn't have to be that complicated. All you need is a hot looking blond who's willing to entertain a giant monkey.” That's it. I've watched the movie and that's all you need. Just tie her to a post and start banging on some drums and if Bigfoot is out there he'll come running. You don't need to go hiking through the tundras in search of that illusive Bigfoot poop. A lot of struggling actresses out there, so just go hire one. And that's all I have to say about it.

I love this post! You have a great sense of humor my friend! Outstanding observations regarding our dear friend Big Foot!
 

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bigscoop

bigscoop

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I love this post! You have a great sense of humor my friend! Outstanding observations regarding our dear friend Big Foot!

I see you'll be heading to Florida soon, if not already there? Just fair warning, Bigfoot tracks have been seen on the beaches from time to time, high tide always washing them away before they can be cast and documented. :thumbsup:
 

Rebel - KGC

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I see you'll be heading to Florida soon, if not already there? Just fair warning, Bigfoot tracks have been seen on the beaches from time to time, high tide always washing them away before they can be cast and documented. :thumbsup:

Big Foot is looking for TIKI BAR; they love Mud-Rasselling, during "Rut"; then, there is SPRING BREAK...
 

Peyton Manning

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allow me to point out the flaw in your theory

what man, having a hot blonde tied up in the woods, would be looking for a squatch?
Iffn it were me, there could be 17 squatches in a circle and I could only see the blonde
 

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From Dr. Diggings;

Bigfoot. He's recently been spotted again. Sure, I know what you're thinking. You're probably thinking that he took a break from his winter hibernation, decided to vacation in Prospect Park, in Brooklyn, New York. Why not.

Now a lot of folks think Bigfoot is a complete hoax, seems odd that nobody knows how to catch the damn thing. I mean it's not like we're dealing with King Kong here. But just in case, has anyone tried luring him in with a beautiful blond? I didn't think so. Nope, it seems everyone thinks they have to chase this mysterious creature around, like that's not going to scare the hell out of him. I gotta tell you, if I knew there were people in the woods looking for samples of my poop it would sure scare the hell out me.
Those peeps are from your proctologist's office. They say you are long overdue for an appointment and want you to call ASAP to schedule an appointment.
When I was a kid I tried to catch the tooth-fairy once, and I did. I accomplished this by making sure everyone knew that I was going to put my tooth under the pillow that night and then I simply put a mousetrap under that pillow instead, pretended to be asleep with my head off of the pillow. Later that night I hear, Wham! “Ship!” Mousetrap broke mom's finger. Tooth fairy my a$$! Not everyday you break someone's finger, prove them to be a big liar, and get paid for doing it.

So who are these geniuses chasing Bigfoot around and hoping to find some of his poop? I mean, how do they even know what Bigfoot poop looks like?
Just like yours, only full of Bigfoot repellent jingle bells :D
If Bigfoot is real then why hasn't anyone been able to find his poop sample? I mean chasing him around like that they've surely had to scare it out of him at some point.

What I would like to say to these people is this, “Catching Bigfoot doesn't have to be that complicated. All you need is a hot looking blond who's willing to entertain a giant monkey.” That's it. I've watched the movie and that's all you need. Just tie her to a post and start banging on some drums and if Bigfoot is out there he'll come running. You don't need to go hiking through the tundras in search of that illusive Bigfoot poop. A lot of struggling actresses out there, so just go hire one. And that's all I have to say about it.
 

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bigscoop

bigscoop

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Bigfoot Hunting Kit, NOW FOR SALE!
Kit includes: One blond Barbie doll, a garden stake, two rubber bands, and a set of bongo drums. Just $49.95!
Get your kit today, start your hunt tomorrow!
 

Slingshot

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Forget the blond and bait the trap with beer and corndogs.
 

boogeyman

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Why haven't they caught him? I'll bet there are at least 20 of us on Tnet that can go out in the field & without trying have a herd of people walk right by us not 25 feet away & not notice a thing! Now, a being that lives in the forest 24/7/365 wouldn't be able to hide (in plain sight) from a bunch of guys stomping around screaming flashing lights banging on trees? Oh, don't forget the obligatory goofy hat & weird haircut..... If a bigfoot is caught I think he would probably be one that is a little lame or to be politically correct challenged.
 

Slingshot

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Why haven't they caught him? I'll bet there are at least 20 of us on Tnet that can go out in the field & without trying have a herd of people walk right by us not 25 feet away & not notice a thing! Now, a being that lives in the forest 24/7/365 wouldn't be able to hide (in plain sight) from a bunch of guys stomping around screaming flashing lights banging on trees? Oh, don't forget the obligatory goofy hat & weird haircut..... If a bigfoot is caught I think he would probably be one that is a little lame or to be politically correct challenged.
When the bomber Eric Rudolph was hiding from the law he found it entertaining to watch the LEO's out in the woods looking for him from his own admissions after he was caught. Native Americans say white people are blind in the woods, and from my own experiences they are spot on with their assessment.
 

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bigscoop

bigscoop

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When the bomber Eric Rudolph was hiding from the law he found it entertaining to watch the LEO's out in the woods looking for him from his own admissions after he was caught. Native Americans say white people are blind in the woods, and from my own experiences they are spot on with their assessment.

But they got him, and nobody got shot. I think that says a lot. Not always a good thing to go hell-bent for election in pursuit of some things. :laughing7:
 

ivan salis

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beware ---where bigfoots are likely to be ---so are rather large unwashed apish redneck types --who are very likely to be attracted to busty young good smelling blondes, that will will allow folks to tie her up ( this the only way they can get close to her is if she's tied up --otherwise she'd run away upon seeing them)
 

G.I.B.

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Florida monster

When he proved it was him and how he did it... people still wouldn't believe him.

We love a great story-

He had St. Pete believing in monsters for quite a while... too phunny
Screen Shot 2015-02-07 at 4.02.22 PM.png
 

against the wind

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I saw him a few weeks ago.
I think he was heading for a rehab.
 

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