How would you approach this...

[Beachkid23]

If this is not allowed here please delete it. I'm just not sure where to post.

I hope I am dead wrong about this. However in the past I have had things missing out of my office, and no one in my house seems to know where they have gone or went too. I bought three really nice watches and they disappeared, then a couple weeks later I found them in my daughter's book bag she had been taking them to school and telling me she had no idea where they were...

My wife's make up was missing... we found it in her room... under the bed...

I left two diamond tennis bracelets on my counter to take to the jewelers in the morning and now they're gone. One was mine.. from a yard Sale - a 1 ct like $400-700. The others belonged to a client.... 4.5 Ct and I was headed to get appraised. Can't find either of them and no one knows where they are.... I feel so sick about this.

I don't want to accuse, but I need to find these. Idk I have torn this house apart... I feel so sick even typing this now....

My daughter is 11. So not to the adult / teen age of pawning stuff yet.. she likes to hide things I feel... ugh. Sorry- frustrated!

 

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[firemac]

She may be taking things to school to just "show them off", or to show off herself. Unfortunately there could be a bad element watching or over hearing her. I think it deffinately is time to lock up the valuables and be proactive. Sorry to hear about the problem. Good luck dm.
PS- perhaps a hidden nanny cam type device watching over something left out on purpose. dm

 

[BigWaveDave]

After I'm 100% sure it's not on her, send her off to school....then, tear her room apart.
When you find it, you got some decisions to make.
See Justin, I'm a child of the 70's, so I'd have no problem beating the tar outta my kid.... but knowing that stuff kinda makes the news these days...hmmm...this is a tough one.... you and your wife will need to sit down, figure this out.
Good luck with this, sucks when your kid lets you down, I feel for ya...

 

[jerseyben]

Stop leaving valuables laying around the house.

 

[trdhrdr007]

Stop leaving valuables laying around the house.

Not trying to hijack the thread but..... I used to have a friend that owned several pawn shops & rent to own stores. I saw him at the grocery store one day & he said his nanny stole $30,000. Of course the 1st thing I'm thinking is how in the heck does his nanny have access to that kind of cash. Turns out he had a shoe box full of cash sitting on his dresser & she helped herself to a few bundles. It's just not a good idea to tempt people.

 

[Tpmetal]

You need to have a sit down and talk to your daughter. She needs to understand the consequences of her actions and how it will affect relationships in her life. You can not ignore this, I have a 11 year old daughter as well. Two problems i have run into were completely ignoring her home work. That was remedied by taking her out and having her pick up rocks filling a wheel barrel to clear a piece of land around The new building. This was done explaining to her that it's fine if you want to ignore school or not do homework, but if you do that picking up rocks is the type of job that would be available to her when she grows up. Haven't had a problem with home work again. encourage telling the truth, punishments should be lighter if truth was told, where as if caught in a lie it should be harsher. This encourages her not to lie which is the hardest step in solving her problem. Second is as i said before she needs to know how these actions will affect her life in the future, if not she will end up with no friends, no family and possible in jail later in life.

 

[NHBandit]

Stop leaving valuables laying around the house.

While it's not often that I agree with Ben on much of anything I have to this time. According to your own comments this is not a new event yet you are still enabling that behavior. Then you wonder why it happened.... Spend some of that profit you're always bragging about on a safe. Just my opinion. And start taking things of hers that she leaves laying around. Phone, game consoles, etc. When she complains then you can have your sit down with her and discuss how it feels to have someone constantly messing with your stuff.

 

[DFW_THer]

You're the boss. Your 11 year daughter is about to find that out. You have found your wife's things under her bed, and valuable watches of yours in her book bag after she claims she has no idea where they are? You have a little kleptomaniac on your hands and if she was my kid, she would learn a super valuable life lesson. She would have already learned it with the watches. Sounds like you didn't nip it in the bud and you're more worried about hurting her feelings?

You're the boss.

 

[DeepseekerADS]

Went through similar issues with my son.

When we caught him, he had no idea we had. We set him up for absolute embarrassment, staged our "discovery". It hit him so hard we could see him trembling from across the room.

That sent him into hyper drive, he threatened his sisters, so I called the police and had him committed for about two weeks. When he was released he was in our care. We were non-confrontational, sympathetic, and accepting of him. We never raised our voices. We gave him a peaceful home, and he suddenly had a whole lot of thinking to do on his own.

He's now #3 in a multi-billion dollar real estate investment firm. And he is rock solid.

 

[Rodbuster209]

I would have already invested in a big gunsafe and a few of those mini cams to see what's going on. Also is this your child or a foster child?

 

[DFW_THer]

That sent him into hyper drive, he threatened his sisters, so I called the police and had him committed for about two weeks.
He's now #3 in a multi-billion dollar real estate investment firm. And he is rock solid.

That's the turnaround story of the century. Glad it worked out.

 

[Beachkid23]

Well my daughter is adopted. We've had her since she was five. I mean I don't want to go out and blame her. I mean I guess it's my fault since I left the bracelets laying out. I just wanted to make sure I didn't forget them. When she took the watches they were on my desk in my office. I asked her about him this morning and she said I'll help you look for them. I hope they can be found. I tore the house apart until 3 o'clock in the morning last night. Also I just purchased some hidden cameras. And I'm going to order a keypad door knob for my office room. I mean I hope she didn't take them. But things keep happening in our house and things keep missing and no one claims to have any idea what's going on. So either we have a ghost in our house, my cat takes them and hide them somewhere whatever we are missing or my 11-year-old is a pathological liar. I don't think I got a good camera though I might have to return it and get something else but it will work for the time being it was free from a friend of mine so whatever. You don't think about stuff being stolen in your own house though. But I mean it's happened in the past so I hope .... though I'm hoping I'm just an idiot and left them lay somewhere and don't see them. Then I can tell you all how big of a moron I am but I don't know where else to look! It sucks not having mine but not having somebody else's is way worse. I don't know.

 

[Beans]

She may be having little difficulty at school. Taking those items that will impress her friends. Her friends may come from a wealthy family and she wants to fit in with that specific group. Just another thing to consider.

 

[Fushek]

Sit her down and discuss the fact that you found the watches in her book bag and ask her why. No need for dramatics. Discuss the rules of her not being allowed to take things without asking. Set some punishment for if it ever happens again and, if/when it does, USE that punishment.

You can't lock everything you own into a safe. Confront the issue in a civil and loving way; hopefully you will discover the reason for the issue.

 

[Beachkid23]

Well after searching today forever and last night until 3 AM, talking with my daughter and searching more. I have no answers. Im missing two bracelets I'm going to owe someone a lot of money and it sucks. After talking with her I don't think she took anything. I don't know what I did with them though. I remember putting them somewhere and that's it. I hope they turn up but I'm pretty depressed thinking about it right now. [emoji30]

I'm going to sign out I'll let you know in a couple weeks if I come up with anything. Good night

 

[silverdollarbill]

I like the "don't leave valuable things around the house". However, you need to trust your family.

Not sure I or anyone else who does not know the whole situation can give good advice, but I think from the examples you provided already, you know what likely happened. By the time I was 11 I knew where everything my Dad owned was. Sometimes he would be angry because he could not find something that I knew where it was. I had to keep my mouth shut. I looked through his stuff because I liked it. She probably likes your stuff too.

I like the advice that you are the boss, but don't be a di@k. Be firm but show compassion.

 

[boogeyman]

How community oriented are your local cops? See if one of them would help getting her steered in the right direction. Stash a few of her prized possessions. After a day or two ask her if she's missing anything because you're missing some stuff. When she says she's missing stuff too you say we need to get the cops involved and call your cop. When he / she shows up and starts asking your daughter if she knows what's up, I'll bet she'll cop to taking the items for whatever reason. Guaranteed she'll learn this behavior isn't good. We had one little guy wet himself, and I'm very glad to say I ran into him 13 years later & he thanked me and he turned out to be a great guy! Oh, he was swiping dads coin collection little by little and using it to buy candy. Over $200 of candy!?!? I was surprised he had ANY teeth.

 

[Truth]

I think she's showing off the riches. You got to cancel that show.


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[DannyB.]

I have no doubt after the watch incident my daughter would be on lock down indefinitely. I have zero problems revoking her freedom when she screws up.. which happens from time to time. They can't learn if you don't teach them. I would say; certainly tear her room apart.. I would also go to her school and speak with every teacher she has and see if they saw the bracelets. This isn't the time to make nice. Explain trust to her; and when the watch incident happened the trust meter dropped to zero and will need to be refilled overtime.

I think that if you personally lost two diamond bracelets (one that isn't yours) you are extremely careless or irresponsible... I'm guessing that's not the case; so.. that means she took them.

However.. loosing 3! really nice watches for a couple weeks and nobody knows where they are? Whip would have been cracked that day. It almost sounds like you were scared to confront her or just blew it off.

What was the punishment for the watch deal?

Man up and confront her.. if you are wrong; apologize.

Nothing I wouldn't tell anyone in my family.

 

[DannyB.]

I think she's showing off the riches. You got to cancel that show.


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Crack'in me up..!