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  1. #16
    us
    Sep 2013
    Somewhere directly above the center of the Earth.
    5,408
    9747 times
    Quote Originally Posted by Wrightdigger View Post
    Had me in tears when I seen you post this.

    Thank you for reminding me that I overcame the odds.

    Mike
    Wrightdigger likes this.

  2. #17
    us
    Sep 2013
    Somewhere directly above the center of the Earth.
    5,408
    9747 times


    Where did my loupe go?

  3. #18
    us
    Sep 2013
    Somewhere directly above the center of the Earth.
    5,408
    9747 times
    Take my first message and insert it here!!

    I can't sleep without night terrors.. I used to drink myself to sleep.
    Inebriated to the point of not remembering the day before.
    I wish that I could sleep!

    Damn! I REALLY want a drink!

    But

    I'm not giving into the darkness.
    I can't.
    I won't.

    BC
    Wrightdigger likes this.

  4. #19
    us
    Dec 2012
    Concrete, WA
    Nokta FoRs Gold, a Gold Cube, 2 Keene Sluices and Lord only knows how many pans....not to mention a load of other gear my wife still doesn't know about!
    3,553
    6128 times
    Prospecting
    That drink existed in your old life BC..that is now history.

    When you feel that urge, ya gotta tell yourself: "I Don't do
    that any more..that is all in history."

    You got a new life now, and these feelings you're having will
    get smaller and smaller every day. One day at a time, one hour,
    or even minute at a time if that's what needs to be.

    Bro, perhaps much the same as you, I have very few good memories
    from the past 50 years, and don't remember much from the 10 years
    before that.

    When I was getting sober, I had the same issues trying to sleep. Bad
    dreams out of the past.

    So, I made up some new memories...

    I envisioned myself as a young man again, and that I had decided
    to live alone and off-grid, deep in the wilds of Alaska. If ya think about
    it, there's a hellofa lot involved with that kind of lifestyle. Picking a spot
    to build a cabin..then figuring out how I wanted to build it. Square log,
    round..or scribed?

    A million other considerations, too. Animals, firewood, survival, etc.

    And yeah...it was a new life so my cabin was alcohol and death-powder free.

    Anytime my mind started to wander I'd bring it back to the task at hand.

    No, it's not real and never will be, but building the "BelongaMike" cabin
    sure got me through some rough times.

    ..

    Right now you're a free man...stay that way..it's worth the fight.
    Last edited by DizzyDigger; Mar 21, 2019 at 07:18 AM.
    BC1969, Wrightdigger and Hawks88 like this.
    Mike (aka Dizz)

    "If you love wealth better than liberty, the tranquillity of servitude better than the animating contest
    of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsel nor your arms. Crouch down and lick
    the hands which feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you, and may posterity forget that you
    were our countrymen." ~~ Samuel Adams, 1776

    Dizzy's Super-Simple, Universal Rule of Forum Conduct: Don't be an ass.

  5. #20
    Charter Member
    us
    Chris

    May 2011
    Western Mass.
    Whites M-6 W/ DD6x10 SunRay DX-1 (A real sleeper)
    14,237
    20837 times
    The one everybody else missed.
    Quote Originally Posted by BC1969 View Post
    Take my first message and insert it here!!

    I can't sleep without night terrors.. I used to drink myself to sleep.
    Inebriated to the point of not remembering the day before.
    I wish that I could sleep!

    Damn! I REALLY want a drink!

    But

    I'm not giving into the darkness.
    I can't.
    I won't.

    BC
    Click image for larger version. 

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    BC1969 and Wrightdigger like this.
    EVER WONDER WHERE YOUR THOUGHTS COME FROM?

    ​The Key...http://antidoteforall.com/

    For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Ephesians 6:12

  6. #21
    us
    Sep 2013
    Somewhere directly above the center of the Earth.
    5,408
    9747 times
    Quote Originally Posted by DizzyDigger View Post
    That drink existed in your old life BC..that is now history.

    When you feel that urge, ya gotta tell yourself: "I Don't do
    that any more..that is all in history."

    You got a new life now, and these feelings you're having will
    get smaller and smaller every day. One day at a time, one hour,
    or even minute at a time if that's what needs to be.

    Bro, perhaps much the same as you, I have very few good memories
    from the past 50 years, and don't remember much from the 10 years
    before that.

    When I was getting sober, I had the same issues trying to sleep. Bad
    dreams out of the past.

    So, I made up some new memories...

    I envisioned myself as a young man again, and that I had decided
    to live alone and off-grid, deep in the wilds of Alaska. If ya think about
    it, there's a hellofa lot involved with that kind of lifestyle. Picking a spot
    to build a cabin..then figuring out how I wanted to build it. Square log,
    round..or scribed?

    A million other considerations, too. Animals, firewood, survival, etc.

    And yeah...it was a new life so my cabin was alcohol and death-powder free.

    Anytime my mind started to wander I'd bring it back to the task at hand.

    No, it's not real and never will be, but building the "BelongaMike" cabin
    sure got me through some rough times.

    ..

    Right now you're a free man...stay that way..it's worth the fight.
    It is comforting to know that someone else truly understands the pull towards the sauce.
    Thanks for the thoughts.
    Thank you for sharing your pain.

    The cabin in the woods thing isn't all that it is made out to be.
    I did that for a bit in my younger years.
    Cold as cold can be.
    Everyone is armed and @$$holish heh and a hungry bear isn't the beer that you want.

    Trying to make new memories isn't so easy now that my wife is sick.

    I'm happy that you have stayed sober.
    This is better than an AA meeting any day.

    Mike
    DizzyDigger and Wrightdigger like this.

  7. #22
    us
    Sep 2013
    Somewhere directly above the center of the Earth.
    5,408
    9747 times
    Chris... Thank you!
    That seven minute meditation is helping me to stop living in my emotions.

    Mike.
    worldtalker and Wrightdigger like this.

  8. #23
    Charter Member
    us
    Chris

    May 2011
    Western Mass.
    Whites M-6 W/ DD6x10 SunRay DX-1 (A real sleeper)
    14,237
    20837 times
    The one everybody else missed.
    Quote Originally Posted by BC1969 View Post
    Chris... Thank you!
    That seven minute meditation is helping me to stop living in my emotions.

    Mike.
    Just be consciously AWARE of your thoughts..they are NOT REAL only thoughts..stand back and observe,a magical thing happens..POOF their gone.
    BC1969 and Wrightdigger like this.
    EVER WONDER WHERE YOUR THOUGHTS COME FROM?

    ​The Key...http://antidoteforall.com/

    For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Ephesians 6:12

  9. #24
    Charter Member
    us
    Chris

    May 2011
    Western Mass.
    Whites M-6 W/ DD6x10 SunRay DX-1 (A real sleeper)
    14,237
    20837 times
    The one everybody else missed.
    Quote Originally Posted by BC1969 View Post
    Chris... Thank you!
    That seven minute meditation is helping me to stop living in my emotions.

    Mike.
    Emotions are a SURE killer..mix them with thoughts and it becomes an endless loop of pain/pleasure. Just watch and observe the craziness,who was it that said "Be in the world but not of it"?
    BC1969 and Wrightdigger like this.
    EVER WONDER WHERE YOUR THOUGHTS COME FROM?

    ​The Key...http://antidoteforall.com/

    For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Ephesians 6:12

  10. #25
    us
    Sep 2013
    Somewhere directly above the center of the Earth.
    5,408
    9747 times
    I'm kinda nuts today. A drink would be just dandy! Ugh!!
    Wrightdigger likes this.

  11. #26
    Charter Member
    us
    Chris

    May 2011
    Western Mass.
    Whites M-6 W/ DD6x10 SunRay DX-1 (A real sleeper)
    14,237
    20837 times
    The one everybody else missed.
    Quote Originally Posted by BC1969 View Post
    I'm kinda nuts today. A drink would be just dandy! Ugh!!
    The Pleasure brings you Pain does it not?
    BC1969 and Wrightdigger like this.
    EVER WONDER WHERE YOUR THOUGHTS COME FROM?

    ​The Key...http://antidoteforall.com/

    For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Ephesians 6:12

  12. #27
    us
    Sep 2013
    Somewhere directly above the center of the Earth.
    5,408
    9747 times
    Quote Originally Posted by worldtalker View Post
    The Pleasure brings you Pain does it not?
    Yep.
    That's why I stopped.
    Life is complicated enough already, we don't need no stinkin' sauce!
    Wrightdigger likes this.

  13. #28
    Charter Member

    Jun 2017
    9,984
    39550 times
    Click image for larger version. 

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    BC1969 likes this.
    The Valley of Dry Bones

    37 The hand of the Lord was on me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the Lord and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. 2 He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. 3 He asked me, “Son of man, can these bones live?”



  14. #29
    Charter Member
    us
    Chris

    May 2011
    Western Mass.
    Whites M-6 W/ DD6x10 SunRay DX-1 (A real sleeper)
    14,237
    20837 times
    The one everybody else missed.
    Quote Originally Posted by BC1969 View Post
    Yep.
    That's why I stopped.
    Life is complicated enough already, we don't need no stinkin' sauce!
    Life is as SIMPLE as falling off a log Mike,you SEE that wrong in you don't you?
    BC1969 likes this.
    EVER WONDER WHERE YOUR THOUGHTS COME FROM?

    ​The Key...http://antidoteforall.com/

    For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Ephesians 6:12

  15. #30
    us
    Sep 2013
    Somewhere directly above the center of the Earth.
    5,408
    9747 times
    Yeah I do actually.
    Tell me,.. how do I stop blaming myself for events that started at age 4 and lasted until I was 14 ?

    I literally walked away from years of therapy after my therapist told me that I'll always have the memories and that I need to learn a better reaction to them...
    Life's too short for any of this nonsense.
    Get drunk and it and the day fades away.

    I don't want to spend my life stuck in a destructive loop of memories!

    Mike

 

 
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