I NEED a drink!

[BC1969]

I don't know who I am..
Can you tell me please!

 

Amazon Forum Fav 👍

Upgraded Night Vision Monocular Digital Infrared Monocular Telescope for 100% Darkness with 8X Zoom - Grab it through Amazon!

[worldtalker]

What I do know is that I'm walking a edge cliff over a bottomless abyss... blindfolded!
In my stress of what do I do next.
I'm tired of this destructive pattern that I have been stuck in most of my life.

UGH!!

Practice this without fail Mike don't expect anything just observe. I have problems in my life but those problems DO NOT have me..

Romans 8:28

 

[BC1969]

 

[BC1969]

Where is Chris..
Or
Crispin..
Or
Marky..


What did I do wrong?

..

 

[BC1969]

I need to sleep.. I'm going to have a drink now.
If I wake up with my eyes caked shut and my sheets soaking wet.. I'll know that I was a fool for thinking that I could escape, if only for a moment.

BC

 

[BC1969]

One single drink..8 solid hours of sleep.
Life must hate me.
Oh well.

 

[BC1969]

Times like these when I feel outside of myself that I wish that I could just find my way to the bottom of a bottle of Jack!
So much easier to be weak.

But I'm Strong.

 

[BC1969]

Hmm.
Pointless.
I'm getting ripped and be done with it!

 

[releventchair]

Hmm.
Pointless.
I'm getting ripped and be done with it!

A friend once said he never did anything as stupid when he was sober , than he did drunk.

 

[DizzyDigger]

Hmm.
Pointless.
I'm getting ripped and be done with it!

Now Mike, you know very well that everyone here is pulling for you to
succeed with sobriety, so why would you come here and tell us that?

For me, I'm neither surprised, nor disappointed. It's your choice brother.
I do want you to succeed, but with your wife sick, you're fighting too many
battles at one time.

Help your wife..be there for her. If you honestly did drink, well, hate the
booze and not yourself. Tomorrow is a new day.

 

[JVA5th]

I think sometimes a person gets overwhelmed with things going on in their life. I can understand. I suffer from generalized anxiety disorder, then on top of it I just lost a grandparent and have the girl I love dying from cancer. Things like drinking can feel like an escape. I've recently drank stupid amounts because I have a hard time dealing with things. Though I've finally started to resist when I hear about the one I love wanting to drink because what she is going through. I know with her having cancer drinking could make it worse. I don't want her to drink so if she can't I won't either. I found reason not to drink, but it definitely isn't either. I can empathize with this poor guy. I hope he finds his way to being better.

 

[BC1969]

Now Mike, you know very well that everyone here is pulling for you to
succeed with sobriety, so why would you come here and tell us that?

I wasn't telling you that.
That was the abused personality within my mind.
Nights are different for me.
Most nights I hide and cry trying to find my way through the night.
I post these things to remind me.

 

[BC1969]

I'm trying to fight off this crippling depression that is saying to me non-stop...just end it all already.
It's tricky when half of the people in my head hate me and wish me harm.

I'm nuts.
Its getting worse quickly.
I'm hopeless.
I'm tired.
I'm really upset that I can't trust anyone.
I'll die friendless and alone.

Sorry marky.

 

[BC1969]

Things don't always go as planned.

 

[DizzyDigger]

....
.......I post these things to remind me.

Fair enough.

Mike, we're just a bunch regular folks here, and I believe all of us
want to help you in any way we can.

Been in a spot like yours, and I told that guy in my head that he didn't
know jack, and to shut the hell up.

Sun will be coming up soon; decide right now that today's going to be a good
day. Tell that head-guy to shut the hell up, turn off the computer and get yourself
some rest.

If you're of any specific religious affiliation, give a Pastor a call tomorrow and
set up a time when you can talk with them. There's a whole world of help out
there, and it starts with talking to the right people.

I'm a nobody, but I'm here, and I won't feed you BS. You're a grown man.

Make that call tomorrow!

 

[worldtalker]

I wasn't telling you that.
That was the abused personality within my mind.
Nights are different for me.
Most nights I hide and cry trying to find my way through the night.
I post these things to remind me.

Who Are You?
Are thoughts speaking to you?

by Roy Masters

Are thoughts speaking to you inside your head as a demanding parent shouting orders, and do you still conform to this now inner presence, as might a child with a cruel authority? Until you find the truth that sets you free, this voice will continue nagging, utilizing past guilt and the fear of punishment, as the ever-present command and control.

Adopting this voice as your very own thoughts and belief system is a foolish "self" deception. This “self” is not you; it is a parent/sibling phantom identity feeding a legion of childhood traumas.

Through many generations of controlled and controlling people it came, with many choosing the victim status rather than that of the tormentor. Fomenting resentment is a dangerous trap, locking you into the subservient role, the only other "choice."

Inside, two forces are in conflict, one is a mental voice of language, loaded with the programming of a child's obedience to authority. The opposition is the wordless word of conscience. It is time now to do what you could not do before, that is to say, transfer your allegiance back to the wordless word in your heart.

Dropping resentments effortlessly dissolves any programming; the first resentment is towards the tease that lives in your mind; the second with look-alike people, places and things.

Naturally, you do not wish to become like what you hated, but because that is exactly what is happening there evolves a strange addiction with resentful struggles. The only sense of self-worth you have ever known is rooted in a perpetual conformity or rebellion against all authority. That authority still goads you from that other place…now at home inside your head.

A hate object is needed because resentment has become a necessary evil…a sustaining food for the false core of worth and loyalty. From the guilt of hate springs misguided love, and then presents itself as a loving and devoted person, when in reality it is only a slave.

Between the stimulus (the tease) and your response, there is a holy space. Here lies the freedom to choose new responses that will shape your new destiny. Unfortunately, emotional upsets block this blessing from coming through, advancing the cause of disease and suffering.

As a little child, you once knew how to be carefree; to move and have your true being, but cruel love stole it away. Others now live through you...as you.
\
The real you reading this should be grasping the fact that you no longer need to function from the malevolent spirit implanted in language; the silent cognition of what you are reading here is sufficient to begin lifting the burden.

Lately, emotions have begun to run away with your common sense. Emotionally entangled, dark dream thoughts are always lurking. They appeal to you in those irrational moments of discontent urging you to act them out.

A lifetime of excuses has become false beliefs, leading to wrong relationships, blind alleys, hopelessness and despair. Considering this Learn how to separate from this endless loop of emotionally sustained thought.

Those without faith have nothing but vainglorious goals and dreams; a phantom’s voice leads as the hope of the hopeless.

No one can give himself faith. Nevertheless, if you will simply doubt that voice that has made you doubt what is right in your heart, it will allow faith to enter as a born-again experience.

At the threshold of reality, the masquerading self will be unmasked; fear and resentful resistance will no longer empower it. Henceforth, remain calm. To survive, it must convince you that being upset is a very normal thing, but it lies. Through the arousal of blinding emotions, it always drew its identity from the wrong crowd you thought were friends. Stand back from the refuge of thought-chemistry, for this ghostly thing loathes and fears observation.

You never were addicted to the judgment of resentment, it was "it" thinking through you, as you, and “it” never wanted you to know.

Upon your awakening, it will react as if mortally wounded. All this time, this thing was thriving on your emotional confusion and draining your life. All the more reason to be perpetually watchful; do not believe its mocking, haunting and disheartening presence. Since your frustration is its power, refrain from talking to yourself in your head lest you fall into a whirlpool of maddening beliefs.

No one can grow rightly by reacting wrongly; emotional obedience always transfers the loyalty to the tease source, allowing the dark nature to continue growing and attaching itself parasitically to your soul. It is impossible to have a meaningful life without the right response to all wrongs.

Therefore, resist not evil, overcome it with good. Resentment in all its forms, for any reason whatsoever, will continue to separate you from the good that overcomes evil.

Evil is not a person, just the same phantom thing in others, reproducing itself through cruelty, and needing a victim’s resentment to get in.

Therefore, endure cruelty and betrayal minus resentments. Hold fast to the wordless word in your heart that bears witness to these words. Be still and allow the essence of a new being to germinate through the quiet place within, revealing the redeeming Light to others. Remember, only while in emotional extremes and submerged in fantasy can your parasitic other self survive.

Fear not, you do not sin by thinking, which is to say, observing teasing thoughts and impure images flitting across the screen of your mind. Only by indulging those (familiar) delusions of grandeur and revenge, will the soul fall into agreement with the invader. That is why it does its best to make you think that the revealing Light of
conscience is the enemy; therefore, meditate unceasingly to keep from such unwitting cooperation. Because sin is more than mere conditioning, as with post-traumatic stress disorder, it requires the soul's agreement to flourish.

The way to the way lies in that quiet place beyond the imagination realm. In this space, you will perceive a fraction of a moment into the future, and hence freedom from all wrong choices. The soul of the true self can operate from two places, but a parasite from only one…the sensuous realm of mind.

God does not download his mercy, meaning, and purpose into a mind lost, or escaping into an endless loop of thought.

You do not have free will the way you think. The proclivity to respond to cruel masters comes preconditioned from birth -- inherited. Christians call this "born in sin". No human since Adam has had the choice of good and evil; for us, there is only one way to salvation from the bondage that we all inherited from the first man's choice. Our individual righteousness can never be good enough.

Therefore, conflicts and anxieties, accompanied by various sufferings, will continue to bring you to your knees; yet, think of this pain as a good thing. As the first human, you would have made the same mistake as Adam, who lost his bright nature. Your choice is more merciful, not as much a choice, as the salvation from (the original) one.

New Year's resolutions never work, because, as you will eventually discover, a puppeteer is pulling the strings of your mind. The Apostle Paul realized it was sin at home inside him. So, do as he did, claim Christ's forgiveness now and pay it forward to others -- endure affliction patiently while standing firm in unswerving loyalty to what is right in your heart.

As you make this journey into the will of the Light, understand two important principles. First, become aware of any resentful resistance to correction, especially from conscience, for it has always been your friend and never your enemy. Second, see resentment as the handmaiden of a legion of judgments. It was resentment that opened the door of your mind and allowed the unforgiving seed to enter, which having no life of its own, began to feed on your failings as well as the downfall of others.

From now on, errant behaviors are no longer excusable, because, from man’s beginning, the excuse has been the friend of the fiend, with enablers more deadly than a serpent’s poison. Think of the damage you could prevent if only you could admit your own wrong and stand up patiently to the faults of others.

You will find meaning only when suffering becomes a heartfelt search. Frustration shall rule, until the conflict from foolish dreams causes salvation’s inward cry.

A Voice in Your Head
Is it lying to you?

by Roy Masters

"You didn't lock the front door," a voice in your head says a block away from your house. Back you go to find the door locked. Two miles away from your house it says it again, "You really didn't lock the door." Now you are frustrated and puzzled, so you backtrack; this time you endeavor to be fully aware of what you are doing by frantically pulling and pushing the door, turning the doorknob this way and that. At work, there it is again, the nagging mental voice still causing that maddening doubt. You are not alone, it happens to everyone.

This phenomenon cannot possibly be explained as mere chemistry, simply because, if you were born in China , it would say it in Chinese. In one form or another, all of us experience the same mysterious something crouching on our doorstep. "It" is very persuasive and powerful in the way its words act upon and through our feelings, as would a good conscience.

Yet, your real conscience does not commune with the reasoning of phantom words. Real conscience is the Divine Presence that quietly makes everything perfectly clear. In a wordless way you will understand and perceive truth from falsehood with unshakable confidence.

Do not fall into the whirlpool of “reasoning” with it; just sit back and watch because whatever-it-is fears observation. Within everyone rages this ancient good and evil battle between faith and doubt. Simply not arguing, struggling or giving in to the dark hope of doubt and despair achieves the triumph of faith.

You see faith does not work in the way that you were taught. The voice of doubt always wars with common sense, and tricks you into thinking that self-evident reality is illusion. By getting you to doubt your commonsense faith, you tend to be seduced away into a cycle of hopeless confusion about everything. Do not panic, remain calm and objective, then it cannot continue degrading your life into a living hell. The conditioning nature of language sustains a state of doubt and confusion by keeping you upset.

Faith has always been there within you unmasking that deceiving spirit that speaks to us through all the generations from when Paradise was lost. Trust this wordless reality and He will save you from the dark side, then guide you safely home.

If the wordless word in your heart bears witness to this message, then rejoice in silent wonder.

Your many questions cry out for answers – please call the Foundation and learn how to fix the endless loop of thoughts.

 

[releventchair]

Things don't always go as planned.

Don't they though!

Shut down for me to sleep took relearning a little over a decade ago....
It was rough ,with rough nights. Still rough with two sides fighting and a mind that seems changed from the past..
But , it is still usually doable. If briefly.

 

[BC1969]

[FONT=&]Who Are You? [/FONT]
Are thoughts speaking to you?

by Roy Masters

Are thoughts speaking to you inside your head as a demanding parent shouting orders, and do you still conform to this now inner presence, as might a child with a cruel authority? Until you find the truth that sets you free, this voice will continue nagging, utilizing past guilt and the fear of punishment, as the ever-present command and control.

Adopting this voice as your very own thoughts and belief system is a foolish "self" deception. This “self” is not you; it is a parent/sibling phantom identity feeding a legion of childhood traumas.

Through many generations of controlled and controlling people it came, with many choosing the victim status rather than that of the tormentor. Fomenting resentment is a dangerous trap, locking you into the subservient role, the only other "choice."

Inside, two forces are in conflict, one is a mental voice of language, loaded with the programming of a child's obedience to authority. The opposition is the wordless word of conscience. It is time now to do what you could not do before, that is to say, transfer your allegiance back to the wordless word in your heart.

Dropping resentments effortlessly dissolves any programming; the first resentment is towards the tease that lives in your mind; the second with look-alike people, places and things.

Naturally, you do not wish to become like what you hated, but because that is exactly what is happening there evolves a strange addiction with resentful struggles. The only sense of self-worth you have ever known is rooted in a perpetual conformity or rebellion against all authority. That authority still goads you from that other place…now at home inside your head.

A hate object is needed because resentment has become a necessary evil…a sustaining food for the false core of worth and loyalty. From the guilt of hate springs misguided love, and then presents itself as a loving and devoted person, when in reality it is only a slave.

Between the stimulus (the tease) and your response, there is a holy space. Here lies the freedom to choose new responses that will shape your new destiny. Unfortunately, emotional upsets block this blessing from coming through, advancing the cause of disease and suffering.

As a little child, you once knew how to be carefree; to move and have your true being, but cruel love stole it away. Others now live through you...as you.
[FONT=&]\[/FONT]
The real you reading this should be grasping the fact that you no longer need to function from the malevolent spirit implanted in language; the silent cognition of what you are reading here is sufficient to begin lifting the burden.

Lately, emotions have begun to run away with your common sense. Emotionally entangled, dark dream thoughts are always lurking. They appeal to you in those irrational moments of discontent urging you to act them out.

A lifetime of excuses has become false beliefs, leading to wrong relationships, blind alleys, hopelessness and despair. Considering this Learn how to separate from this endless loop of emotionally sustained thought.

Those without faith have nothing but vainglorious goals and dreams; a phantom’s voice leads as the hope of the hopeless.

No one can give himself faith. Nevertheless, if you will simply doubt that voice that has made you doubt what is right in your heart, it will allow faith to enter as a born-again experience.

At the threshold of reality, the masquerading self will be unmasked; fear and resentful resistance will no longer empower it. Henceforth, remain calm. To survive, it must convince you that being upset is a very normal thing, but it lies. Through the arousal of blinding emotions, it always drew its identity from the wrong crowd you thought were friends. Stand back from the refuge of thought-chemistry, for this ghostly thing loathes and fears observation.

You never were addicted to the judgment of resentment, it was "it" thinking through you, as you, and “it” never wanted you to know.

Upon your awakening, it will react as if mortally wounded. All this time, this thing was thriving on your emotional confusion and draining your life. All the more reason to be perpetually watchful; do not believe its mocking, haunting and disheartening presence. Since your frustration is its power, refrain from talking to yourself in your head lest you fall into a whirlpool of maddening beliefs.

No one can grow rightly by reacting wrongly; emotional obedience always transfers the loyalty to the tease source, allowing the dark nature to continue growing and attaching itself parasitically to your soul. It is impossible to have a meaningful life without the right response to all wrongs.

Therefore, resist not evil, overcome it with good. Resentment in all its forms, for any reason whatsoever, will continue to separate you from the good that overcomes evil.

Evil is not a person, just the same phantom thing in others, reproducing itself through cruelty, and needing a victim’s resentment to get in.

Therefore, endure cruelty and betrayal minus resentments. Hold fast to the wordless word in your heart that bears witness to these words. Be still and allow the essence of a new being to germinate through the quiet place within, revealing the redeeming Light to others. Remember, only while in emotional extremes and submerged in fantasy can your parasitic other self survive.

Fear not, you do not sin by thinking, which is to say, observing teasing thoughts and impure images flitting across the screen of your mind. Only by indulging those (familiar) delusions of grandeur and revenge, will the soul fall into agreement with the invader. That is why it does its best to make you think that the revealing Light of
conscience is the enemy; therefore, meditate unceasingly to keep from such unwitting cooperation. Because sin is more than mere conditioning, as with post-traumatic stress disorder, it requires the soul's agreement to flourish.

The way to the way lies in that quiet place beyond the imagination realm. In this space, you will perceive a fraction of a moment into the future, and hence freedom from all wrong choices. The soul of the true self can operate from two places, but a parasite from only one…the sensuous realm of mind.

God does not download his mercy, meaning, and purpose into a mind lost, or escaping into an endless loop of thought.

You do not have free will the way you think. The proclivity to respond to cruel masters comes preconditioned from birth -- inherited. Christians call this "born in sin". No human since Adam has had the choice of good and evil; for us, there is only one way to salvation from the bondage that we all inherited from the first man's choice. Our individual righteousness can never be good enough.

Therefore, conflicts and anxieties, accompanied by various sufferings, will continue to bring you to your knees; yet, think of this pain as a good thing. As the first human, you would have made the same mistake as Adam, who lost his bright nature. Your choice is more merciful, not as much a choice, as the salvation from (the original) one.

New Year's resolutions never work, because, as you will eventually discover, a puppeteer is pulling the strings of your mind. The Apostle Paul realized it was sin at home inside him. So, do as he did, claim Christ's forgiveness now and pay it forward to others -- endure affliction patiently while standing firm in unswerving loyalty to what is right in your heart.

As you make this journey into the will of the Light, understand two important principles. First, become aware of any resentful resistance to correction, especially from conscience, for it has always been your friend and never your enemy. Second, see resentment as the handmaiden of a legion of judgments. It was resentment that opened the door of your mind and allowed the unforgiving seed to enter, which having no life of its own, began to feed on your failings as well as the downfall of others.

From now on, errant behaviors are no longer excusable, because, from man’s beginning, the excuse has been the friend of the fiend, with enablers more deadly than a serpent’s poison. Think of the damage you could prevent if only you could admit your own wrong and stand up patiently to the faults of others.

You will find meaning only when suffering becomes a heartfelt search. Frustration shall rule, until the conflict from foolish dreams causes salvation’s inward cry.

[FONT=&]A Voice in Your Head[/FONT]
Is it lying to you?

by Roy Masters

"You didn't lock the front door," a voice in your head says a block away from your house. Back you go to find the door locked. Two miles away from your house it says it again, "You really didn't lock the door." Now you are frustrated and puzzled, so you backtrack; this time you endeavor to be fully aware of what you are doing by frantically pulling and pushing the door, turning the doorknob this way and that. At work, there it is again, the nagging mental voice still causing that maddening doubt. You are not alone, it happens to everyone.

This phenomenon cannot possibly be explained as mere chemistry, simply because, if you were born in China , it would say it in Chinese. In one form or another, all of us experience the same mysterious something crouching on our doorstep. "It" is very persuasive and powerful in the way its words act upon and through our feelings, as would a good conscience.

Yet, your real conscience does not commune with the reasoning of phantom words. Real conscience is the Divine Presence that quietly makes everything perfectly clear. In a wordless way you will understand and perceive truth from falsehood with unshakable confidence.

Do not fall into the whirlpool of “reasoning” with it; just sit back and watch because whatever-it-is fears observation. Within everyone rages this ancient good and evil battle between faith and doubt. Simply not arguing, struggling or giving in to the dark hope of doubt and despair achieves the triumph of faith.

You see faith does not work in the way that you were taught. The voice of doubt always wars with common sense, and tricks you into thinking that self-evident reality is illusion. By getting you to doubt your commonsense faith, you tend to be seduced away into a cycle of hopeless confusion about everything. Do not panic, remain calm and objective, then it cannot continue degrading your life into a living hell. The conditioning nature of language sustains a state of doubt and confusion by keeping you upset.

Faith has always been there within you unmasking that deceiving spirit that speaks to us through all the generations from when Paradise was lost. Trust this wordless reality and He will save you from the dark side, then guide you safely home.

If the wordless word in your heart bears witness to this message, then rejoice in silent wonder.

Your many questions cry out for answers – please call the Foundation and learn how to fix the endless loop of thoughts.

I think God sits it out with people like me.
I'm so back and forth in my faith.
One day I'm God's warrior, the next I'm his worst enemy.
It is very difficult for me to accept that God loves me. I feel like God hates me if anything.
Or maybe I am too far removed from his grace.

I'm trying to leave the past in the past.
The problem is I'm bitter about it and I NEED resolution and justice.
My dad is gone.. I can't ask him why.
My mother is senile and doesn't remember me.. asking her is pointless as she would lie anyway. That's what narcissists do.
That leaves God to answer me on why I was dumped into that hospital at age 12.
Why was it so brutal there..?
They were supposed to help me, not torture me!
They created something terrible within me. Someone that I have to fight with every night in my mind as he ( me ) pushes me towards the inevitable..tick tock.

You have no idea how much pure rage that I am burying in my head.
I'm a hair trigger and I know it.
I avoid everyone else because of it.

Why..Why did God allow them to do that ?
He won't answer me...
He'll have to eventually!
I look forward to meeting the Sadist responsible for all these years of torment!
He'll wish that he hadn't created me!

Bah Humbug!
Don't commit suicide... you'll burn in a lava lake forever ... Umm, that's where I exist now...but he loves me!!

As you can see, I'm falling apart.
My wife doesn't remember when we met!
My wife doesn't remember the first time I kissed her!!

My Savior abandoned me and didn't remember me!

Yet here I am.
Seeking whatever I can get from relatively random strangers.
That's all I can get and that's all I can tolerate.

It is all downhill from here and quite frankly, I don't care about the outcome.

The things that matter mostly.. don't remember me.

Who am I ?

Why am I ?

That's a G damned good question!!

Honey.. I know you won't see this..
But Ἰησοῦς will.


Ἰησοῦς,
Why..? Why did you leave me to walk this path alone ?
Stuck with seven versions of me!
Maybe that's why things were so bad at age four ?
To prepare my mind and separate it so that I could protect the little ones within ?

I know that you won't answer me.

..

 

[releventchair]

I think God sits it out with people like me.
I'm so back and forth in my faith.
One day I'm God's warrior, the next I'm his worst enemy.
It is very difficult for me to accept that God loves me. I feel like God hates me if anything.
Or maybe I am too far removed from his grace.

I'm trying to leave the past in the past.
The problem is I'm bitter about it and I NEED resolution and justice.
My dad is gone.. I can't ask him why.
My mother is senile and doesn't remember me.. asking her is pointless as she would lie anyway. That's what narcissists do.
That leaves God to answer me on why I was dumped into that hospital at age 12.
Why was it so brutal there..?
They were supposed to help me, not torture me!
They created something terrible within me. Someone that I have to fight with every night in my mind as he ( me ) pushes me towards the inevitable..tick tock.

You have no idea how much pure rage that I am burying in my head.
I'm a hair trigger and I know it.
I avoid everyone else because of it.

Why..Why did God allow them to do that ?
He won't answer me...
He'll have to eventually!
I look forward to meeting the Sadist responsible for all these years of torment!
He'll wish that he hadn't created me!

Bah Humbug!
Don't commit suicide... you'll burn in a lava lake forever ... Umm, that's where I exist now...but he loves me!!

As you can see, I'm falling apart.
My wife doesn't remember when we met!
My wife doesn't remember the first time I kissed her!!

My Savior abandoned me and didn't remember me!

Yet here I am.
Seeking whatever I can get from relatively random strangers.
That's all I can get and that's all I can tolerate.

It is all downhill from here and quite frankly, I don't care about the outcome.

The things that matter mostly.. don't remember me.

Who am I ?

Why am I ?

That's a G damned good question!!

Honey.. I know you won't see this..
But Ἰησοῦς will.
View attachment 1699872

Ἰησοῦς,
Why..? Why did you leave me to walk this path alone ?
Stuck with seven versions of me!
Maybe that's why things were so bad at age four ?
To prepare my mind and separate it so that I could protect the little ones within ?

I know that you won't answer me.

..

Hey , you're ol lady puts up with you still...the rest is chump change! That applies to anyone's mate.

Your religion is yours alone to sort out.
Meet what entity you feel , where that entity is meant to be met.

To me , God don't make junk. Every human innocent is a gift of life to experience by that human.
Yes , innocence wears off in ways.
But evil , and the abuse humans inflict on each other are not preplanned by their essence of life.
And depending on what you subscribe to , God don't jump in a put his hand between humans abusing humans. Or a multitude of other wrongs.

A gift of free will (meaning we can do or believe what we want without getting hit by a lightning bolt) comes with a responsibility that many people shun...

There is a hidden contract of sorts that can not be ignored.
The degree of awareness of that contract can be , but to what avail?

One persons emotions swing higher and lower than another's.
Another person can /does run multiple emotions at any one time.
But all are under the umbrella of that same informal ,unavoidable contract.

[The human condition is "the characteristics, key events, and situations which compose the essentials of human existence, such as birth, growth, emotionality, aspiration, conflict, and mortality".]

Fight God. Argue with God. Bargain with God. ...I been there.
Eventually communication evolved into simply saying "Thanks God". Guess he'd heard enough complaints from me.

Life ain't fair. But for the living , it is life. Why not be in awe of the chance to live this day? It ain't the days fault if we don't like it. Or Gods. Or the neighbors ,ect.

The contract clock ticks away if we are happy or not.
Somewhere some one would have another minute on it and won't.
Somewhere someone is frittering away time by debating why they exist when not happy....
Somewhere some one is remembered.
Somewhere some one never existed.
Somewhere , somehow , someone is grateful for a new day. Just because they are in it and know they are.
Somewhere someone is all of the above. (!)

 

[BC1969]

RC.. You're a true friend.
Words on a screen are just words..but I feel your pure essence.
I believe that we are all connected.
Everything is electrical impulses and harmonics.
God's people can always feel each other and I really feel you!
Thank you for making this to where I can understand it!

Hard to admit this, be it the born with XXY or the trauma or a combination of the two, I cannot physically communicate with others very well.
Disabled mentally is an understatement!
If you don't make what you say to me at a kindergarten level.. I simply don't understand what people are saying.
Here or in person!

That's some brutal ammo for trolls.
Fire away... I'm actually thicker skinned than people realize.

Now RC..life is short and time precious...why are you wasting this beautiful day talking to me ?

God bless you either way!
And you too St. Chris and WD and you too Jeff...how many monikers do you have ? Heh

God bless you all.

P.S.
You too Crispin... without your help, I'd have quit everything four years ago.