Rude Competition

[1treasurehunter1]

Hey everyone:

I just got back from a privately owned thrift store. I went through their jewelry once and found some gold and silver so I thought to ask if they had any more around. The owner told me that she has about 4 grocery bags full of jewelry at home and agreed to let me go through it when she brought it in. I came in early and the owner wasn’t there but her employee was and told me that the owner was going to be in later. She asked me why I needed to see the owner and I told her. She texted the owner and let me go through two small bags of jewelry behind the counter (not the ones I was going to go through).

Now, I'm going through the jewelry and this large aggressive woman goes up right next to me and starts grabbing things from right under my chin. I politely tell her that she was invading my personal space and that she could go through the jewelry once I was finished. So she grunts at me and asks the employee if she has other bags behind the counter, the employee says no and then the woman asks me to hand over the second bag I haven’t even gone through yet. I tell her to give me a minute and then the employee tells me to hand over the 2nd bag to her since I'm busy with the first bag. I hand over her the first bag (80% searched) and start going through the second one. She yells that "you've already gone through the first bag I want to see the second bag". I ignore her and she doesn’t even bother to look through the first bag at all. She asks the employee if they sell and gold here and she said "no just costume".

This lady was mad at me for going through the jewelry first and was being a bully about it. I don’t know why the employee was taking her side for.

The bad part about all this is that the employee texted someone, probably her boss about what happened and then got a call from her boss. After talking she told me that those were all the bags they had and that there are no more to go through. I know that’s not true and that her boss was going to bring more jewelry over later that day for me to go through. BTW, she took down that rude ladies number (the rude lady overheard that I was going to go through the jewelry later). So it looks like she'll be going through the jewelry first. I hate people like that. She just ruined my chances of going through the jewelry first or at all and now she'll be going through it first! AARGH!! I hope she doesn't get any gold or silver but she probably will since I’ve gotten lots of sterling, 14k and even 18k. I was expecting to find some nice stuff. Oh well. I think the employee might've been mad at me for not handing over the second bag but handing over the first bag instead; what's the difference? So since I didn't listen to her (give the 2nd bag) that mean woman gets priority and will come in later to go through my bags first! Do you know what, I will come in at 5pm to see the boss and bring in a box of chocolates and appologize even though I'm not at fault.

Sorry for the long story.

What do you guys think? Any similar stories to share?

 

Amazon Forum Fav 👍

Minelab PRO-FIND 35 Waterproof Pinpointer Metal Detector for Experts with Tone ID & Adjustable Sensitivity - Grab it through Amazon!

[randazzo1]

This is always tricky and it happens in any "deal" environment. I personally don't have the stomach for it. However I understand the motive and the thinking. It's a "kill or be killed" situation for some people. Others are just greedy and obnoxious.

If there is gold "to be had for cheap" then everyone will want an opportunity to have at it. It's how you conduct yourself in that situation that reveals your character.

 

[VernonWalter]

This is always tricky and it happens in any "deal" environment. I personally don't have the stomach for it. However I understand the motive and the thinking. It's a "kill or be killed" situation for some people. Others are just greedy and obnoxious.

If there is gold "to be had for cheap" then everyone will want an opportunity to have at it. It's how you conduct yourself in that situation that reveals your character.

Very insightful comment and I agree. What I tell myself is that for a person to outwardly express themselves in that manner, well, they must be dealing with an extremely bitter and ugly core. Beauty is only skin deep but ugly goes down to the bone!

 

[diggummup]

Yes, many stories of similar situations. You did nothing wrong. I would have done the same exact thing you did, except I would have finished going through the first bag completely, before handing it over to the brute. Especially after she started reaching her paws into your personal space. I would have a talk with the owner about what and how everything happened. She was the one that mentioned the 4 bags of jewelry at home that you could go through. If she wants to get an attitude then tell her she just lost a customer and move on. She needs you more than you need her.
I was at the flea market earlier today and a guy had a box full of collector spoons. Looked like some of them may have been sterling, maybe, maybe not. Anyway 2 guys (probably "partners") were going through the box looking at each spoon with a loupe. Did I reach into the box and start grabbing spoons too? No, I didn't. Why? Because I have a mutual respect for others. I give it, therefore I expect to receive it. When I don't, I'll be the first to let you know about it. In no uncertain terms.

 

[1treasurehunter1]

I just went back to the store and the owner told me that I was banned from the store. Wtf? I apologized and gave her chocolates and she said to come back in a month as we won't have any new jewelry. Obviously that employee exaggerated the story and made me look bad. They were sorting through the new jewelry as I came in; so obviously they have more stuff. This reminds me of getting in trouble in elementary school for defending myself against bullies.

 

[clovis97]

I'd say that there is almost 100% chance that the bully was a friend of the cashier or the owner. The deal was already made between the bully and the owner long before you before you walked in the door.

The bully is just that, an obnoxious bully with zero manners. The cashier and owner are obviously lacking in their ability to communicate with customers.

Move on, friend. The picking is too easy.

 

[trdhrdr007]

I just went back to the store and the owner told me that I was banned from the store. Wtf? I apologized and gave her chocolates and she said to come back in a month as we won't have any new jewelry. Obviously that employee exaggerated the story and made me look bad. They were sorting through the new jewelry as I came in; so obviously they have more stuff. This reminds me of getting in trouble in elementary school for defending myself against bullies.

Wow. Did the owner say you were banned before or after you apologized? I would have made it clear the other customer was rude & obnoxious, & asked exactly why she was banning me. If she didn't have a valid reason and/or apologize I would have told her I'd be happy to take my business elsewhere......& that I would be sure to mention my experience to all my friends.

 

[1treasurehunter1]

She banned me before I apologized and then after I gave the chocolates she told me to come back in one month. I was shocked to say the least. I've never been banned before and felt victimized. She said that the other customer spends a lot of money at her store and is a great customer. I only told her that the lady was being rude and invading my privacy. I didn't get to explain myself further. That cashier obviously told a different story. I was stuttering at that point and said goodbye and have a great day. They also said that I restored their faith in humanity by apologizing with the chocolates. Wow, the cashier must have made me look like a villain.

 

[1treasurehunter1]

I think the cashier was mad that I didn't listen to her by not giving that lady the second bag but instead I gave her the first bag. Maybe she saw the whole situation differently from me. Maybe she thought I was being rude to her as well. Whatever. The new jewelry will sit for one month before I get to go through it. Maybe I should invest in a spfx mask? Lol.

 

[palidin20603]

It is always best to do what store employees say ALWAYs. I was looking at a $25 pair of mexican sterling earrings and the post was bent. I straightened the post and the post broke off! My first thought was to give it back because it was damaged any way. But I decided after walking around the store and calming down, that I have made a few thousand dollars from this store so I better suck it up and by them. Luckily they cut the price to $15. Then today I was in and about to leave when the manager calls me over to look at the new sterling jewelry processed today and I found a pair of retired James Avery earrings! It paid off for me! I bet if I walked out and left those broken earrings that my first look privledges would have gone away. HH

 

[Joe777Cool]

The way I would handle it - because I can be a bit spiteful - is to try to speak to the owner one more time. Explain your side, exactly as you did here, and tell her that the jewelry was in your possession and were deciding what to purchase. How would they act to a customer that came over and took something out of another customers carriage? Them deciding to ban you without you even getting a word in is TERRIBLE customer service, and would get a person fired in many companies. If things go bad, let them know that you will be sharing your terrible experience across every single social medial outlet possible and will be leaving reviews to warn as many other people as possible about how terrible they treat their customers.

edited to note - clearly the last part is if you choose to no longer patronize that establishment! lol

 

[cazisme]

Was it Brandi or Jerod that banned you?

 

[trdhrdr007]

She banned me before I apologized and then after I gave the chocolates she told me to come back in one month. I was shocked to say the least. I've never been banned before and felt victimized. She said that the other customer spends a lot of money at her store and is a great customer. I only told her that the lady was being rude and invading my privacy. I didn't get to explain myself further. That cashier obviously told a different story. I was stuttering at that point and said goodbye and have a great day. They also said that I restored their faith in humanity by apologizing with the chocolates. Wow, the cashier must have made me look like a villain.

The only mistake you made was apologizing & giving chocolates after being banned. If everything happened exactly as you wrote THEY were the ones that should have been apologizing & giving chocolates. Their actions are what destroys people's faith in humanity. It's pretty obvious the other customer who "spends a lot of money" is more important to them than your business was.....& instead of doing the right thing & standing up to the obnoxious idiot they banned the person who was in the right. That says everything about what they believe ethical business practices are.

 

[1treasurehunter1]

The only mistake you made was apologizing & giving chocolates after being banned. If everything happened exactly as you wrote THEY were the ones that should have been apologizing & giving chocolates. Their actions are what destroys people's faith in humanity. It's pretty obvious the other customer who "spends a lot of money" is more important to them than your business was.....& instead of doing the right thing & standing up to the obnoxious idiot they banned the person who was in the right. That says everything about what they believe ethical business practices are.

You're right. But I wanted to play it safe. She obviously believes her employee enough to not hear my side of the story. If I told her everything I wrote here and the employees story was different, then what? It was a messed up situation. I even told the damn employee before I left (before the boss was there, earlier) that I appologize for being rude to that other lady but I was just defending myself because she was invading my privacy and she even told me that I was right however I should have given her the second box. I should of told her that I gave her the first box instead and I thought that was okay. I guess they believe in equal opportunity, since I went through the first box, therefore, she gets to go through the second box first and then we switch boxes. I really dont know what I did that pissed them off. The employee said that next time dont go up against two women as you're outnumbered. I guess the employee thinks I went up against her as well by not listening to her (giving the second box up).

Their policy is different I guess. However, when I go to a Goodwill for example and ask to see ALL the jewelry bags, I go through them and when I'm finished, I give them up to the person standing next to me (if there is one who wants to see them as well). Since I was the first one to ask for them, I should get priority.

If I am foced to give up half my bags to the person next to me that would suck, what if they get a bag I wanted and half the bags I'm left with are no good? I asked to see them first so it would not be fair for me to give up half.

I do live in Toronto by the way and many people are very socialist (not trying to open a political discussion here) here and I guess thats what they're trying to impose in their policy. Time to move to Alberta.

 

[NJcigarman]

I would never spend a dime in that store again. You can't crap on one customer because another spends more money. That is a disastrous business model.
When I was in high end retail there were limits on certain product laid down by the owner. You can guess how many times I heard about how much money they spent in the store when they tried to get extra product.

You handled the situation perfect and even apologized. Screw that store!!!

 

[palidin20603]

Most likely this brute is giving kick backs to the owner. So this lady can do what she wants. My scrap guy told me about one of his customers that gives kickbacks to a GW manager and scraped a gold ashtray for $4,000 that the GW manager sold him directly. HH

 

[dumpsterdiver]

I think you live in a big enough city that I would not go back. I guess she doesn't think all customers are created equal if the other customer is a great one. I've been in similar situations and I think the two option are hand over the second bag and comment on how great and beautiful some piece of garbage is in the bag. This will give you a good idea of what they are looking for and how bad you just screwed yourself. Or if you felt really good about the first bag you could say oh I am buying that bag for my _______ she really loves jewelry. I don't hunt for jewelry but I have done it with other things and you end up selling some stuff you really didn't want to but usually you come out ahead. It's also hard to do but you should have put on your poker playing face before digging into the bag.

 

[twiasp]

I was at a local thrift shop once, they were nice enough to let me look through a box of jewelry that was behind the counter and ready to be put out. I found a lot of silver jewelry. Some guy next to me started reaching over me to grab the pile of stuff i already seperated. I stopped him and told him "I'm buying that". He responded with a giant temper tantrum because he didn't get to see it first or at all. He was the one asked to leave, I got the buys but they wouldn't let me look through the stuff behind the counter anymore (to keep the peace). Give your store 2 weeks then go back, even if you don't get the bags behind the counter it sounds like they are missing plenty anyways. Find out when they put stock out and beat the mean lady to first looks anyways. "Some people are their own worst enemies", so let the mean lady burn her own bridges and just keep yours up.

Now when i'm looking through bags and other customers are around and want to look at it. I merely explain to them that i'm just helping the thrift shop price their items and these items are not for sale right now. Yet to have a person throw a tempter tantrum over this approach. Personally I wish i could sit at a table in a backroom, but that just isn't an option i guess.

 

[jason4kstate]

I'm pretty shocked about getting banned from the store. If it makes you feel any better just think of it this way "It's just stuff." There is no need to not act like a gentleman, a jerk, or a brute about getting your mitts on a bunch of stuff. You can't take it when you die so therefore it does not matter. Unfortunately, this type of situation has happened to me a lot over the years. The two types I seem to have the most difficulty with are

1. The bottom feeders who are on the brink of some sort of financial disaster (drugs, Shopaholics, alcoholic, the unemployed, etc.) and absolutely have to have that item to survive for a little longer

2. Hoarder types

The 1% who can make it ebaying, selling on craigslist, etc seem to have the most respect for others and do not act like a jerk. There is plenty of gold, silver, etc to be found. I went to a garage sale today that had been opened for 4 hours (which is an eternity for me because there are a lot of ebayers, etc in my town) and I found a emerald and 1/2 carat diamond necklace and pendant. I haven't the foggiest on why it was set in sterling silver but it was definitely a huge score.

 

[jerseyben]

Most likely this brute is giving kick backs to the owner. So this lady can do what she wants. My scrap guy told me about one of his customers that gives kickbacks to a GW manager and scraped a gold ashtray for $4,000 that the GW manager sold him directly. HH

How exactly do you give kickbacks to the OWNER of a privately owned thrift store?