how do you convince your other half your not cheating while u say ur detecting

[metal mania]

how do you convince your other half your not cheating while u say ur detecting I mean come on it would seem detecting is the perfect cover for this activity long hours away from home strange times etc etc.

No she wont come while I detect I mean while my friend detects

is it worth ditching her ie bearing in mind my friend is buying top make detector and doesn't want to buy if he cant use it.
plus its costing him a fortune buying rings to give to her as a coin find doesn't hack it and hes allowed out next day.

---

 

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[fella]

Once puberty is reached, this should no longer be an issue. Good luck!

 

[Wyomingmedic]

I was going to say, if this is truly a relationship problem, maybe there are deeper issues.

Somebody somewhere has/is messed/messing up and being away while MDing is the least of the problem.

And if his detecting is dependent on what he finds and can give to the gal' as some kind of sacrifice, there is yet again an even deeper problem.



I am getting alarm bells all over the place and would recommend that he run faster than Sebastian Coe in the opposite direction.

WM

 

[NOLA_Ken]

I don't know what to tell you, my girl likes to read this forum and see all the finds and she helps me with some of the whatsits. I gave her my Whites P2 and she goes detecting and bottle digging with me, so I doubt I'll ever have that problem.

 

[spartacus53]

Well, you're lucky, I am expert in this area as well as thousands of others. Since this is an important issue for you, I went the extra step to confer with another expert in this field, Dr Studly Dooright.

We've both reached the same conclusion, kick her to the curb and drop her like a bad habit.

Unless of course you want to introduce her to your other girlfriend

 

[liftloop]

One of me friends wife sits in the car for hour on end
why all he hunts she doesn't think twice about
it normaly if they don't trust you
there not to be trusted
because they all ready know there up to some then

 

[bigfoot1]

I'd tell him to stop with the rings.Give her the bottle caps and pulltabs.Nothing shows true love like a pile of pull tabs.

 

[vpnavy]

Just send her a few picture text messages while you are MD'ng.

 

[lovetodig]

I have a built in monitoring system, KIDS. I usually take one with me each time, It gives them one on one dad time and can never be accused of doing anything wrong. Kids tell EVERYTHING!!

 

[tims1chap]

I have a built in monitoring system, KIDS. I usually take one with me each time, It gives them one on one dad time and can never be accused of doing anything wrong. Kids tell EVERYTHING!!

With 12 kiddos you still have time to MD. I hope you learned where they are coming from.

My step mom is the youngest of 17. I think she is the only one still alive.

 

[Silver Searcher]

Just whip it out, before you clean it, show here how dirty it is .......The detector that is.

SS

 

[foiler]

Get her a detector, give her a quota, put her to work. Call it MD pimping.

 

[wvwildman]

sounds to me she might be the one cheating

 

[DizzyDigger]

Metal Mania: I have been down the same road before, and the end result was divorce.
She had some very serious issues (including delusions), and wouldn't let me out of her sight
for a second. The issues ran much deeper than just that, but the marriage ended 8 months
after it started when I told her that she either sees a righteous psychiatrist or psychologist
and get some help...or leave.

She left. I found out a week later that she had seen a psychiatrist a month before we were
married, and was diagnosed with "Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)". Believe me when I say
this...BPD is the "SPAWN OF SATAN" when it comes to emotional disorders, and very few have
any idea of how much emotional torture they can cause until they've "been there and survived
that". Took me two years of counseling before I was back to being myself again.

In other words, I believe there are issues going on with her that run much deeper than simply not
trusting you to be on your own.

As I see it, you've got one of two choices:

Don't waste time as these issues are not going to go away, and it's not
going to get any better (for either of you) unless you get some professional counseling
ASAP. She will likely balk at this, as she fears her secret issues are going to be found
out about, and in my experience the more you "push" for her to go the more she's
going to push back.

If she refuses to go, then I would pack up and go at the first chance. You have the
right to live your life as YOU CHOOSE, and it's certainly not up to her to tell
you what you can do, and when.

Only you would know if more is going on than what you've shared here, but if these
types of issues are common in your relationship...If it were me, I would (honestly) end
the relationship and never contact her again, as that is the only way you'll ever be free
of her. She will do anything to get you to stay, but don't buy it, cause 24 hrs. later things
will be right back where they were to start with, and you'll be even more miserable.

Suggest you order a book called "Walking on Eggshells" (seriously!). It's about living with people that
have BPD, but even if she is not BPD there are parts of the book that will help you to deal
with the issues she does have.

http://www.amazon.com/Stop-Walking-Eggshells-Borderline-Personality/dp/1572246901

BTW, this comment you made about your friend really caught my eye:

".......and hes allowed out next day.."

No disrespect to your friend, but his wife tells him when he's "allowed" to go out?

Just reading that the poor bugger is being treated that way makes me shiver. Does she
really control him that much to where he has to bribe her with jewelry just to get a day
out of the house?

Be a good friend and give him your copy as soon as you're done with it.

It takes a strong spine to deal with some people (men or women), and dealing with her issues
will get ugly as she's gonna push back..and hard. If you feel the relationship has a future, then
stay and work through it, but if not, pop that parachute and get yourself free.

JMHO, and advice is generally worth what you pay for it. In this case, I'm sharing the
straight-up, cold truth about what I went through. Maybe your gal is just insecure, but
it doesn't sound as if that's the root of the issue.

I do wish you the very best of outcomes, and either way, be strong.

 

['bulaDirtDog]

Just from my personal experience......the one who is always accusing the other of cheating, is actually the one doing the cheating. Just my opinion based on my previous wife's actions.

 

[63bkpkr]

metal mania,
I think Dizzy Digger has done a good job of describing what is a somewhat common thing. It is a fact that IF the BPD person will not seek help, accept help, want help then by staying you will only get deeper and deeper into their excrement and trust me that is no place to bring children into and children do not deserve that situation either.

Cut the cord before there are children are weep at your own mistake. Be kind, care about her but do not forget to take care of yourself as when you go down she will only get worse! Piling accusations of distrust on someone else is an old habit and it creates a heavy burden for the one being dumped on. It is your choice, choose wisely and maintaining sanity is a wise good choice................63bkpkr

 

[Trollfish]

I had a psychotic, BPD, inverted narcissist parasite of a wife once. 13 years of her reduced me to this one final statement. Life is too damned short to put up with bull****, especially from those that should never give it to you in the first place.

You should cheat on her and then see if she will keep you. I she does keep you, then you need to get rid of her. Which is what you should have done in the first place. But then you will at least know for sure she needs to go.

 

[Old man walking.]

Ditto what Spartacus said.

 

[Native Floridian]

Keep some dirt in a plastic bag, mix with bottled water. Smear mud on loose change you picked up at the bar with your girlfriend. Make sure your wife doesn't know code to unlock your phone and that your AMEX bill doesn't go to your home address.

Seriously, if trust is an issue there is no way to convince an SO that something legit is going on. Fix it or move on!!!!

 

[OUTCOME1]

see my recent post here WE ALL DIG OUR OWN HOLES
!! LOL