A darker side of Relic/treasure Hunting.

[locater]

Sounds like you made some Wise Choices over the years. Very Cool..
Davers

Hi Davers,

Let's just say the wise choices, thankfully, outdid the stupid ones, Your child being 6 1/2, is an interesting age for kids. Don't give up on detecting with him. All it takes is that first find that he pulls out of the ground. It could be the start of a lot of enjoyable time spent together. A trip to the playground would be an ideal time to introduce him to detecting.

The fact that you are bringing up the subject in this thread, makes me think that you will keep things in the proper perspective. Personal time is important, the when and how much is the key. Good Luck!

 

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[DFX DAVE in M.D.]

I am ready to blow a fuse on my wife, she is an obsessive Geo-Cacher and I can't even get 2 hours of detecting in one day a week on my days off, with this getting dark at 5 pm crap now. In the summer we could get back in time for me to get out. I like going caching, but not that much, she needs me to go so she can get prepared for the next cache and to walk the dog so she can concentrate. Its coming to a boil fast, lol because when the ground freezes like a rock soon, I wont be detecting till spring

 

[mangum]

Had a girlfriend that would ***** to me about my metal detecting. Now I did detect A LOT, 3-4 days after work and then 1 or 2 days over the weekend. Her definition of good time was TV, going out to eat, going out partying. I told her more than once, come up with something fun to do, and I will do it with you in a heartbeat, road trip? Im in. Beach? Im in. etc. etc. Told her she didnt need me to sit next to her to watch TV, we can go out to eat after I am done detecting, and I would not go out drinking more than once a week and thats only if there is a reason. I would invite her to bring her stupid dog (a chihuahua thingy) to the park with me so she could read a book or something but it would be boring for her. Well, shes no longer my gf. Screw that, had way too many fights over this crap, and I am not giving up a healthy and fun hobby to sit on a couch to make someone else happy. I can do that when I am in the nursing home.

Amen to that!

 

[Tom_in_CA]

CHILDREN AND FAMILY ARE THE REAL TREASURES!! ...

Locator, when you say " ... and family", I'm assuming you're referring to your wife in that, right? And naturally, no one can object to that statement, of course. However, what do you do if you really want to go detecting. Let's say, they scraped off the top 8" of turf at the oldest park in your town. But your wife says to you: "I'd rather you watch TV with me tonight ". Ok, so now you're in a dilema: If you family is a real treasure (as you say), then are you obligated to say "yes dear" and stay at home doing honey-do's?

 

[Tom_in_CA]

And for sake of argument, the above scenario assumes you've pleaded, talked about it, tried, etc... And she won't agree. She insists you need to stay home and other things. Or to the extent you could tell her "tough", and go anyhow, you KNOW you'll come home to an angry wife. Ie.: you'll be "frozen out", and in the dog-house. Then what? Does your middle-name become "yes dear" all the time, lest you not be a good husband ?

 

[TSCOM]

Been There Tried That...LOL

Then force them to like it. Become a nudist and refuse to wear clothes until they not only go detecting with you, they enjoy it. Believe me, after watching you naked on Thanksgiving they'll do.

 

[Davers]

my wife was always happy to see me going out detecting. no matter how often i went, probably cause she got first dibs on any jewelery i found. plus we would save up all the clad till we had enough to go out to eat, see a movie. there are ways to keep the better half happy while we enjoy our hobby.

Reckon She had a Boyfriend on the Side?
Just Kidding Man.. Hope you get a new detector Soon.
Davers

 

[Davers]

Hi Davers,

Let's just say the wise choices, thankfully, outdid the stupid ones, Your child being 6 1/2, is an interesting age for kids. Don't give up on detecting with him. All it takes is that first find that he pulls out of the ground. It could be the start of a lot of enjoyable time spent together. A trip to the playground would be an ideal time to introduce him to detecting.

The fact that you are bringing up the subject in this thread, makes me think that you will keep things in the proper perspective. Personal time is important, the when and how much is the key. Good Luck!

Thanks for the kind words.
I have Faith things will work out for the best.
Davers

 

[Davers]

I am ready to blow a fuse on my wife, she is an obsessive Geo-Cacher and I can't even get 2 hours of detecting in one day a week on my days off, with this getting dark at 5 pm crap now. In the summer we could get back in time for me to get out. I like going caching, but not that much, she needs me to go so she can get prepared for the next cache and to walk the dog so she can concentrate. Its coming to a boil fast, lol because when the ground freezes like a rock soon, I wont be detecting till spring

Funny (not really)
Found my 3rd Geo-Coaching Ammo Box in a year this past week.
Signed the book & left em, a nice Shotgun Shell.

 

[Davers]

And for sake of argument, the above scenario assumes you've pleaded, talked about it, tried, etc... And she won't agree. She insists you need to stay home and other things. Or to the extent you could tell her "tough", and go anyhow, you KNOW you'll come home to an angry wife. Ie.: you'll be "frozen out", and in the dog-house. Then what? Does your middle-name become "yes dear" all the time, lest you not be a good husband ?

In this case She could come with or stay home..

Tom , Tom ,Tom
'Always Playing the Devils Advocate ' lol
Davers

 

[Tom_in_CA]

..,,Tom , Tom ,Tom
'Always Playing the Devils Advocate ' lol

Only when "platitudes" (pat answers) don't meet real life realities .

 

[Muddyhandz]

I'd say that it's important to make a few sacrifices so that you can spend more time with your family but you said something in your post that makes my blood boil......

I don't see much wrong with this but she does , we still do things as a family but 80 % of their time is 'wife= Smart Phone, Games' & 'Son= Video Games , Movies "again Normal".

If I stayed home instead of participating in my passion (relic hunting) where I'm getting exercise, fresh air, and piece of mind to sit at home on a couch watching my wife stare at her zombie phone and my kid glued to his video games, I'd have an effing meltdown!

So, you're not sacrificing your passion for quality family time. You need to rethink your guilt!

 

[ShovelNose]

My wife of 28 years has a way to sway me from MDing. She has a persuasive way to keep me home and it isn't watching TV. Not to often but once in awhile she likes my company and tries to make plans in advance but understands if something pops up that doesn't come around to often.

 

[texasred777]

I guess I was lucky. When I started MDing, my two daughters were 'into' a lot of different things, like crafts, riding bikes, etc.. My son was just over 2 years old. Most of my detecting for the first few months was in the large, old yard at our house. After that most of it was about 3 blocks away at an elementary school.
My wife was into several things like helping the daughters, some crafts of her own, and watching the son grow up. She knew I needed some time to myself and didn't object. I didn't detect every day! I would go to the school maybe a couple of times a week after work, then I would be gone on Sunday mornings until about 10 a.m. almost every week. I would spend quite a bit of time in our yard, even after hunting it with 2 different detectors. I don't believe I would have ever found all of the coins and such in that yard!
As for family time, we would have a 'movie night' about once a month. We'd rent several movies, have a lot of sandwiches, tea, Kool-Aid, snacks, and spend a Friday or Saturday night watching movies most of the night. We went together out to the several parks that were around for picnics. We all went fishing quite often. So, all in all, I spent a lot of time with the family, yet some personal time to myself.
There were times when my neighbor and I would go out of town for a Sunday morning hunt. We seldom spent over 45 minutes driving time to a place. My wife trusted me. I never ran around on her, nor she on me. We were married for over 43 years when she died.
In later years, I didn't MD much and did a lot of driving during my work hours. I did get a little peeved at her at times. I would come home, clean up, eat, and then she would want to go 'riding around'. Most of the time I obliged her, but there were times it made my blood pressure rise to hear her ask me if I'd take her riding. lol
It's a hard decision to make. Between doing what you want to do and what she wants you to do with her. I can only tell how it was with my wife and I. I can't tell you what to do. I can only say that you'll have to decide for yourself what's right, what's wrong, and all in between the two. Good Luck!!!

 

[Davers]

Just to be clear IMO it's normal for a First Grader to be into Video Games & Movies.
As for the Old Lady ,lol .
She has her own issues but we are in this together, been married 11 years so all this is really nothing new.

It's really a Question of Human Nature , Choices, .
What's Really Important in life?
Again all the "Stuff " I find wont mean much in the end..."much"
I love to save history & really enjoy Digging and Finding stuff
but
I kinda ill's me when I see that General Service Civil War cuff, Button 'of witch I've only dug a handful of ' Sells for only $5 or so. Or the Silver Dimes I slave over are worth only $1 or 2.. ( but that's another story)..
Now it's over to the Mental Health Forum

Oh yeah , What;s the meaning of life again?
Plus I 'Want' Old Monte Carlo SS or Buick Grand National , Models 1984 0r 1985.

Davers

 

[VonPalm]

Strongly agree. You could be spending your time at the bars every night or not in your child's life in general. Detecting seems almost as though it could be considered a lesser evil..

 

[RustyGold]

I spent most of my younger years surfing all the time and my wife had no problems with it.
But I missed a lot of baseball games with my son!
Fast forward and he is an adult father with two children who he supports on every level!
They are active in sports and excellent at it!

If I had it to do over I would spend more family time together and less on my own selfish desires.

 

[Davers]

RG
I really don't like your situation. Actually it's pretty sad . " 4 blocks away & 20 min Rarely"
Do you have a good relationship with your Grand Kids ?.

Sounds like the" Cat's in the Cradle" Song.

Hopefully I both of you want you can salvage what's of your life & Get to know each other again.
Good Luck
Davers

 

[RustyGold]

We spend time at various family functions and I spend a lot of time with my grandsons they even love to MD with me!
It just my son works all the time and then only has a I/2 day Saturday and Sunday to do his family thing!
I apologize if I made it sound bleaker than it really is!

 

[mikeraydj]

I guess I am lucky also. My wife was happy to see me get excited about an activity. She supports my detecting even though it is not her cup of tea. I try to make sure that I am taking care of my responsibilities at home first. The only thing she says about my detecting is "Bring me home some jewelry."