Going treasure hunting in a cave(satire)

[b3y0nd3r]

Ok, so I got this great cave that used to be a mine shaft. Its about 50 feet deep.

While doing some drinking, a guy at the bar, told me, that his grandfather heard, that during the civil war, the confederates dumped about 40, five pound gold bars down this abandoned shaft. After hearing this story, I knew it had to be true. The civil war was in this area and soldier were paid in gold!!!

This is what I prepared for the trek into the cave and I just wanted to know if I am missing anything:

Stuff from wally world:
Pick-ax(on sale!!!)
10 plastic 15 gallon totes(to haul the gold out)
30 feet of sturdy rope(it looks strong enough)
Aluminum clips
2x20 oz bottles of water and a pack of trail mix
bottle of vodka(some courage for the climb down and to celebrate on the climb back up!)
Good pair of cargo shorts and a light tee shirt(im sure its going to be hot down there being closer to the core of the Earth)
Sneakers without laces.(dont want them getting tangled in my rope)
I picked-up a flashlight that was next to the gum while I was checking out(almost forgot it).

I not telling anyone I know what I am doing(I dont want them to get the gold). I also plan to go at night since any bears in the cave will be asleep, and snakes dont come out at night(pretty smart huh?).

I should be all done in an hour, and then I will be rich!!!! I will post pictures of the finds, on here and on my fasebook so everyone can see how rich I got!!!


Note: This is exactly how you should NOT do this!

(This is not directed or meant for anyone, just something I thought up. It's satire.)

 

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[Limitool]

Maybe someday somebody from T-net will have that opportunity... maybe?

 

[Nitric]

Yep, been there with the mine shaft thing in my teens and 20's....Local legends surround all these types of things....Everything from the guy that robbed red lobster hid the money and gun in there before he went to prison.(true legend from my neighborhood)....To there is an old miniature steam type train, that they used to pull the mine carts, and it's still in there. (Grandpa told me about that, so it must be true, he saw it) And the shiners hid there money and shine in there. etc....

Yep...Was there done that! Along with all the other guys from the area looking for their own "legend" they heard...Never found the train, never even found a coal car...But I wasn't brave enough to venture too far from the opening, in some places, you were standing on piles that use to be the ceiling...Soft clay shale type stuff.....

A few of the older guys at that time, did find some explosives, and were blowing holes in stuff....But as I got older I realized how lucky they were!!!!! That stuff had to be unstable as hell.....

Or how lucky everyone was..Going in there with coleman lanterns? imagine a gas pocket!!!!!

 

[Limitool]

You wanna go on an adventure Jason.... come on up. I'll take ya on one. Bring your camera buddy...!

 

[b3y0nd3r]

yea the stupidity of the guy going into the cave is where the satire lays LOL

 

[Nitric]

yea the stupidity of the guy going into the cave is where the satire lays LOL

It's funny! I briefly mentioned it the other day in another thread...And after I was thinking about it? The hundreds of kids that played in those mines over the years and none were ever seriously hurt is amazing...They closed those mines in the late 1800's real early 1900's, Everyone from my Grandfathers(born in 30) generation on played in those things....Now, those mines, you would never catch me in today...They were in rough shape when I was in them 20 years ago. I had a guy call me just recently,(a relative of a friend) asking me where the openings were....I sent him on a goose chase, I didn't want any part of it. I'm sure he will find one eventually.

 

[Nitric]

You wanna go on an adventure Jason.... come on up. I'll take ya on one. Bring your camera buddy...!

Sounds like fun!! Hopefully one day!!

 

[Limitool]

Sounds like fun!! Hopefully one day!!

Just get up here... I'll house, water and feed ya buddy and we'll have a day of fun. You can't be more than 3 hrs. away or close. Let's rock...!!!!!!!

 

[Dr. Syn]

You forgot the lighter, to check for methane gas. And a 30 foot rope for a 50 foot shaft? You'll have to untie it half way down, gather it up and retie it so you can get the whole way down.

 

[b3y0nd3r]

You forgot the lighter, to check for methane gas. And a 30 foot rope for a 50 foot shaft? You'll have to untie it half way down, gather it up and retie it so you can get the whole way down.

finally someone saw the rope gag lol

 

[Limitool]

You forgot the lighter, to check for methane gas. And a 30 foot rope for a 50 foot shaft? You'll have to untie it half way down, gather it up and retie it so you can get the whole way down.

Mr. Dr. Syn.... I've been about 95% as far back as anybody can go (?). Hypothermia shut me down and I turned around. It still took me 5-6 hours to recoup to "normal" that day. Can't be no shafts... because water covers the cave floor 1/2" to 8". Found an artisan well supplying the water source. After that it got real hard to go forward.

If I ever find a shaft rest assured I'll have a long enough rope.

Come on over Tnmountains... lets dive deep.

 

[Tom_in_CA]

b3yOnd3r, your post brought a good chuckle. Thanx. And while yours was just meant in satire-jest, yet there's no shortage of people who would just assume this is an iron-clad bullet proof treasure "just waiting there to retrieve".

 

[Deft Tones]

Mr. Dr. Syn.... I've been about 95% as far back as anybody can go (?). Hypothermia shut me down and I turned around. It still took me 5-6 hours to recoup to "normal" that day. Can't be no shafts... because water covers the cave floor 1/2" to 8". Found an artisan well supplying the water source. After that it got real hard to go forward.

If I ever find a shaft rest assured I'll have a long enough rope.

Come on over Tnmountains... lets dive deep.

You should have brought the vodka to warm you up....rookie!

 

[Mad Machinist]

Got a chuckle out of this one. Maybe I should try it this way instead of carrying all the gear I do.

 

[RustyGold]

Whatever you do definitely plan it out and I would let someone know what you are doing in case of an accident.
Best of luck!

 

[b3y0nd3r]

Whatever you do definitely plan it out and I would let someone know what you are doing in case of an accident.
Best of luck!

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i DONT WANT THEM TO GET THE GOLD FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im just joking around.