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Thread: Personal question... I struggle with now.

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  1. #31
    us
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    Looks like you got the system down for these, but if you need cutout letters/engraving let me know
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  2. #32
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    Digging in the dirt & scooping in the water!
    I want all here to know that last year, or year before last Brad was talking about his project, and I offered to help.

    BRAD REFUSED MY OFFER!
    Republic of Vietnam 10/69 - 3/71, Cambodia April 27, 1970 on a mountain top with HUGE scorpions

    "'He jests at scars who never felt a wound'" c.s.lewis - 1940

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  3. #33
    kcm
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    Quote Originally Posted by ChampFerguson/TN View Post
    Now that I understand, let me say I am so very sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine the pain you must have.

    I think that what you do is completely your own decision and it will be the right one. Follow your heart.

    From an outsider's point of view, it seems that others were touched by what your actions and want to be a part of it in some way. Their intentions are to express their approval and to help going forward, but they may not understand the obligation that you might feel as a result of accepting their help. This may be an opportunity to expand the project to other woodworkers in the area or something another local charity could team up with you/others to carry on...?

    On a personal note, I once started volunteering a morning once a week at a local food bank. I was asked to help more and more as the years went on and I gladly did so (and enjoyed it a lot) but after a few years I just felt overwhelmed and like it was consuming my life. I ended up stopping completely. Finding a balance can be tough.
    I can't speak for anyone else, but I consider Brad a friend (had a nice, lllooonnnggg chat on the phone one night) and I'd gladly help him in this endeavor - not because it might make me feel good, and not as a way for "me" to be charitable, but because I would gladly do what I could to help my friend in his venture! Back then, Brad had already declined monetary help, so did what I could in info/suggestions.

    Now this is where I can speak for several people, but not putting anyone else's names there but my own when I say this:
    Brad, if you ever want or need anything financial to help your venture, DO NOT hesitate in letting me know! How shall I say....you're "Pre-Approved"!
    "...I've got silver in the stars and gold in the morning sun" - Don Williams

  4. #34
    us
    Sir

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    Good luck to Brad.

  5. #35
    us
    Brad - Wolfpack Proud

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    Thank you folks... from the heart.

    Again... KCM, DS... and the many others who also offered last year THANK YOU so much.

    Some of you have suggested that "others" may what to be a part of it and support it possibly into something much larger. Maybe so.... But that's what I'm struggling with because I NEVER expected others to "join me" on what I was doing by offering to support it.

    I probably took the Rotary Pres. by surprise when he asked if I'd accept a few hundred dollars to continue this effort again and hesitated. I already was going too and arranged it again with the PD. a month before. He explained himself further and it all came from the heart from him and his organization. I told him I would finally. He asked if I'd come to a Rotary breakfast, accept check and speak to the members present about my intent and effort. In hind sight I started to doubt my decision and posted this thread.

    I guess we'll see how it turns out now. I'm sure these folks, as the President stated just want to help me offset costs and see it continue in the matter as I presented last year. I guess involving others in any manner just seemed to "get in the way" of my effort. I need to get over it... let these folks help and be a part I guess. It just doesn't seem right somehow...? Brad
    I am a true blue Patriot who believes in the original Constitution's meaning. I'll bleed blood to defend it and resist those who want to diminish or alter its meaning or those rights stated within the Constitution.

  6. #36
    kcm
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    Am not too familiar with the Rotary Club. I'd think they spend their time going around in circles! Name:  laughing hysterically.gif
Views: 86
Size:  5.0 KB

    Seriously though, I can understand what you're saying. And I was all for going along with the Rotary Club, UNTIL it got to the part of you getting up to talk about your project. 20 years ago I would have thought nothing of it, but nowdays it seems there's always some sort of ulterior motive involved, even if in a secondary way - almost like, "Hey, look at us (ie.; the Rotary Club). We're doing something really great here!" I would hope this not to be the case, but.... Now looking at it from another direction, what's to say this extra publicity for you and the extra resources (monetary, for now) wouldn't draw other wood craftsmen in by maybe making some handmade toys to go in those boxes?

    Think about these people who have walked or jogged or ridden a bicycle across the USA to raise money for some charity. Granted there may not be many who join in, and maybe they won't stay the whole course, but there could be quite a few people who would like to join in. Some will most certainly have more self-centered reasons, like it makes "them" feel good. But then, some people need that. Others may join in for the same exact reasons you are doing this. Or maybe someone hopes to gain a little publicity. Whatever the reason, any additional help would result in you being able to expand the operation (IF that's something you want to do!!) and be able to reach out to even more children. Maybe other folks too far away to physically help might take a cue from you and do a similar thing in their own area.

    What it boils down to Brad, is, what do YOU want?!?!?

    It's obvious you're struggling with this, which is why you posted in the first place. But ultimately, all we can do is help you see the big picture, but in the end it has to be your decision. If you do this on your own, then it's "all you" in every aspect - an operation you can pour your heart into, and for the very specific reasons that you started it in the first place. And that means being more limited in how many kids end up with such a special gift.

    ...One idea might be that, if you choose to accept help from anyone, that it be from someone who went through a similar catastrophe, someone who lost a child or grandchild, so that they, too, can pour their hearts into the operation. Maybe they'll have a specialty for something you don't like. Like, I can't stand to paint or do finish work. If I had someone who wanted to do that and could do it well, then I'd jump at the chance. But that's me. And maybe that's the only person I'd allow to help.

    Sending you a PM. Call me some time if you wanna talk.

    ADDED: Here's a link that I think (hope!) many will find not only informative, but even inspirational. Hope you enjoy. Notice how the program got started, and even when it started. We've come a long ways since then, yet have made little progress in the overall scheme of things. In other words, what Brad is doing makes him a real life Hero!! ...Let's just hope he doesn't start dressing up in spandex and a mask!
    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toys_for_Tots
    Last edited by kcm; Apr 15, 2017 at 11:32 PM.
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    "...I've got silver in the stars and gold in the morning sun" - Don Williams

  7. #37
    us
    Nov 2013
    TN
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    Perhaps the Rotary(or other locals) could take up the mantle and run with the example that you have set. Maybe suggest that in your breakfast talk. ime, a lot of these clubs are mostly populated with people that want to business networking (nothing wrong with that) but there will also be a rare few charitably oriented go getters too. Organizational ability is an undervalued trait.

    Listen to others (not just here) and consider the options they present, but do what is right for you. That's all any person can do.
    Limitool and huntsman53 like this.
    "Those who cannot compete intellectually tend to develop a cultural aversion to the whole idea." -- Fred Reed
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  8. #38
    us
    Tribal Member of United Houma Nation -

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    Quote Originally Posted by kcm View Post
    Am not too familiar with the Rotary Club. I'd think they spend their time going around in circles! Name:  laughing hysterically.gif
Views: 86
Size:  5.0 KB

    Seriously though, I can understand what you're saying. And I was all for going along with the Rotary Club, UNTIL it got to the part of you getting up to talk about your project. 20 years ago I would have thought nothing of it, but nowdays it seems there's always some sort of ulterior motive involved, even if in a secondary way - almost like, "Hey, look at us (ie.; the Rotary Club). We're doing something really great here!" I would hope this not to be the case, but.... Now looking at it from another direction, what's to say this extra publicity for you and the extra resources (monetary, for now) wouldn't draw other wood craftsmen in by maybe making some handmade toys to go in those boxes?
    Agree! Why can't folks just do a good deed anymore without making a REALLY BIG DEAL out of it?

    I would tell them you'll be glad to accept their donation only if they are willing to keep it on the "down low".

    A wise man once said: "“Take care not to practice your righteousness in front of men to be noticed by them; otherwise you will have no reward with your Father who is in the heavens. So when you make gifts of mercy, do not blow a trumpet ahead of you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be glorified by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. But you, when making gifts of mercy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your gifts of mercy may be in secret. Then your Father who looks on in secret will repay you." - Matthew 6:1-3
    AARC, kcm, Limitool and 3 others like this.
    Speaking of the stars: " "To whom can you liken me to make me his equal?” says the Holy One.' “Lift up your eyes to heaven and see. who has created these things? It is the One who brings out their army by number; HE calls them all by name. Because of his vast dynamic energy and his awe-inspiring power, not one of them is missing." " --- Isaiah 40:25,26

    A few of my favorite pix: https://www.500px.com/ccjr221

  9. #39
    us
    Brad - Wolfpack Proud

    Jun 2013
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chadeaux View Post
    Agree! Why can't folks just do a good deed anymore without making a REALLY BIG DEAL out of it?

    I would tell them you'll be glad to accept their donation only if they are willing to keep it on the "down low".

    A wise man once said: "“Take care not to practice your righteousness in front of men to be noticed by them; otherwise you will have no reward with your Father who is in the heavens. So when you make gifts of mercy, do not blow a trumpet ahead of you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, so that they may be glorified by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. But you, when making gifts of mercy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, 4 so that your gifts of mercy may be in secret. Then your Father who looks on in secret will repay you." - Matthew 6:1-3
    Exactly my point or concern.

    I did mention last year to one person (Rotary Club) that "I bet others folks would like to see a Toy Box like this built in their lost loved ones names also, then donated"...? This also weights on me. I probably overstepped my bounds and should have just continued to do what I could afford to do for the intent I originally started.

    But I do / can now understand how others would want to help see this effort continue or expand. I'm probably way overthinking this but I guess you'd have to be me or really know me to understand with offers of help. Maybe I'm being selfish...?

    For the member who stated that possibly other woodworkers might to able to do the same.... HELL YES!!!!!!! That would be GREAT.
    I am a true blue Patriot who believes in the original Constitution's meaning. I'll bleed blood to defend it and resist those who want to diminish or alter its meaning or those rights stated within the Constitution.

  10. #40
    kcm
    kcm is offline
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    Quote Originally Posted by Limitool View Post
    I did mention last year to one person (Rotary Club) that "I bet others folks would like to see a Toy Box like this built in their lost loved ones names also, then donated"...? This also weights on me.
    Ok, now you're talking two different things here. There's no problem doing what you do for your own purposes, and still be able to run a separate business for helping other people honor their loved ones. Only thing is, you need to keep the two separate. In other words, you would have a small business. You don't know their loved ones, so why should you donate your time? Yes, you could "choose" to, but then that's your prerogative. ...You just need to decide what's best for you, including your situation, your wife, YOUR health etc., and what you can see happening into the future.

    People buy flowers to put on graves. They don't go to florists and expect something for nothing, or even to buy at-cost. And while you're not a business per se, it still holds that people should not ask you to work for free, much less at a loss. Your time is worth something. Otherwise, you'll have people taking advantage of you. ...If people could get floral bouquets for free, then there would be a LOT more to be found on graves - at least until some of them just got tired of even that much effort. Somewhere lost in that mix is a line between what comes from the heart (sincerity) and what comes from guilt (I want to, but.....). So, most folks just move away from honoring their loved ones. And for some people, there's an "I'm a part of this living world and they're no longer here, so I just need to move on" mentality. Nothing really wrong with that mindset, either - but you know they're not going to be buying any toy chests from you!
    Limitool and huntsman53 like this.
    "...I've got silver in the stars and gold in the morning sun" - Don Williams

  11. #41
    us
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    1 thing I'm not getting - So individual kids get boxes stuffed with toys, and get the toys and the box ?

  12. #42
    us
    Apr 2009
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    I think you should refuse aid and continue on your own as you have been doing. Those who want to give you money towards your project, ask that they send that money to a children’s cancer hospital or some other charity of your choosing. I get it that you want to to this on your own and so should others. No need to feel conflicted.

  13. #43
    us
    Brad - Wolfpack Proud

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    Quote Originally Posted by Xraywolf View Post
    1 thing I'm not getting - So individual kids get boxes stuffed with toys, and get the toys and the box ?
    Yes... I built and donated 15 total toy boxes last year. The PD offered to do their first toy drive to fill them all. After 4 TV stations and the Nashville newspaper got involved the PD got enough to probably fill 25 boxes. They coordinated with the area Rotary's annual food drive also. Some families had 1 child and many had multiple children up to 5. It was very organized and each toy box was filled with toys according to sexes and ages. The food drive then allotted food according to the same criteria. Then the filled toy boxes and food were all dropped off (including the toy boxes I donated). Each of my boxes had a name plate bearing my daughter and grandsons names. It was highly organized per each family by the PD & Rotary. I probably had the primo job!

    Now these two organizations what to help me offset my costs to see it continue as it did last year (hence this thread). I just wonder if accepting any funds would conflict with me putting my daughters and grandsons names upon the donated boxes again? One members PM (of many) brought up a good point.... it's still my work and time going into project.

    You folks here gave some great advise and I appreciate it. And thanks again Xray for what you sent me last year.... Brad
    I am a true blue Patriot who believes in the original Constitution's meaning. I'll bleed blood to defend it and resist those who want to diminish or alter its meaning or those rights stated within the Constitution.

  14. #44
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    Brad - Wolfpack Proud

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    "I did mention last year to one person (Rotary Club) that "I bet others folks would like to see a Toy Box like this built in their lost loved ones names also, then donated"...? This also weights on me."

    KCM.... What I meant by this was they pay base costs and come help me build the box. I'll have the parts all cut out in advance. They help assemble, sand, stain and finish. Then they can attach their own memorial plate upon box. AND THEN DONATE IT ALONG WITH MINE. But even this idea could have it pitfalls also.
    I am a true blue Patriot who believes in the original Constitution's meaning. I'll bleed blood to defend it and resist those who want to diminish or alter its meaning or those rights stated within the Constitution.

  15. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by TerryC View Post
    If you go to "rules" you will see this sentence, "You may not... use the TreasureNet.com forums for any fundraising purposes.
    He mentions other TNetters offered compensation to a fundraiser that he did before and he says he wants to do it again. I am not saying he cannot do a fundraiser, but it sure sounds (to me) like he is trying to say it without saying it. I predict one of the admin will soon tell him so. (I personally couldn't care less) TTC
    Easiest way to remember is "Their house their rules." Unless you're paying TNets server etc. bills we aren't really entitled to anything Easy to remember & will keep your butt out of a sling believe me!. If you're running a charity drop a link with a check this out type title. The real sad thing is there are so many charities flooding our lives, it seems that everyone has their hands out. Makes it hard for the rest that are really in a bind get seen.
    I know it's here, just need a bigger coil!

    I think I know what my last words will be....
    "Hold my beer and watch this!"

 

 
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