Dear Mom and Dad,
Hi, it’s us. Lily and Smoke. Remember us? We haven’t seen you in a bunch of cat years, hope you are doing well and aren’t having too many hairballs. We’s still living at the crazy old lady’s place. She takes this machine outside and runs it over the ground. Wes thinks she's trying to find the nuts the squirrels bury. We was hoping she would bring us a squirrel, but all she brings home are these "relic" and "gold" things, whatever they is. It’s not too bad, except for that one besturde cat, the black one named Satan, no wait, Smoke says his name is Dusty. He is jealous of the old bag and doesn’t want to share the house with anyone.
I’m typing, Lily that is, Smoke is too stupid lazy to do it. Plus he’s dyslexic. Or septic. Or something like that. And he caint spelle.
Anyway, we have very nice beds here. I like the imaginery “Tracy’s” room. It’s quiet in there and the besturde doesn’t come in. He’s like a big black bat hanging around the old bag all the time. Smoke got up on the couch all by himself once. I LMAO.
We get canned food twice a day, it’s pretty good. We like the poultry platter best.
The crazy lady keeps the house warm in winter and cool in summer. We have to watch out for her because she don’t walk too good and she might fall on us.
She disappears most every day at 7 am and comes back about dark. We knows it’s 7 am because she tells us that. We occasionally get a car ride, but it’s not to the mouse store, it’s to the vets. The biggestest cat, Lil'While, he catches real live mice. They don’t stay that way long. It’s exciting!
Crazy lady talks about retiring all the time. Are they going to put her to sleep? We kinda like her cause she does what we wants. Hope they don’t do that. Who is they anyway?
She has kittens, you and another one called this “Tracy” thing, but we never seen the Tracy.
You should come visit us. Wes misses ya. Smoke is 15 years old now. My birthday was yesterday. I got pet. The old bat didn’t forget it. (That’s because the vet sent her a notice on the lighted window she sits behind.) I also got canned food.
Well, we wanted to send you a gift, but the only thing we have extra is stuff out of the cat box and the crazy lady said the post office lady wouldn’t like that, so we decided against it. The besturde cat Dusty owns all the cat toys, although he don’t go nowheres near Smoke’s blanket and I have a blanket too. We were able to get crazy lady to get a piece of our hair to send to you. Youse shouldest keep it forevers. It’s from us.
Love you both, come visit. If you see that Santa character, we hear he steals cats so plz shoot his sorry arsse.
Love, Lily the Brendle Cat and Smoke the Magnificent
PS: The old bat did retire and all she does is go to this TreasureNet Place on the little lighted window and chase the stupid squirrels with that dumb machine of hers. She hasn't not brought us ONE squirrell yet!
Hi, it’s us. Lily and Smoke. Remember us? We haven’t seen you in a bunch of cat years, hope you are doing well and aren’t having too many hairballs. We’s still living at the crazy old lady’s place. She takes this machine outside and runs it over the ground. Wes thinks she's trying to find the nuts the squirrels bury. We was hoping she would bring us a squirrel, but all she brings home are these "relic" and "gold" things, whatever they is. It’s not too bad, except for that one besturde cat, the black one named Satan, no wait, Smoke says his name is Dusty. He is jealous of the old bag and doesn’t want to share the house with anyone.
I’m typing, Lily that is, Smoke is too stupid lazy to do it. Plus he’s dyslexic. Or septic. Or something like that. And he caint spelle.
Anyway, we have very nice beds here. I like the imaginery “Tracy’s” room. It’s quiet in there and the besturde doesn’t come in. He’s like a big black bat hanging around the old bag all the time. Smoke got up on the couch all by himself once. I LMAO.
We get canned food twice a day, it’s pretty good. We like the poultry platter best.
The crazy lady keeps the house warm in winter and cool in summer. We have to watch out for her because she don’t walk too good and she might fall on us.
She disappears most every day at 7 am and comes back about dark. We knows it’s 7 am because she tells us that. We occasionally get a car ride, but it’s not to the mouse store, it’s to the vets. The biggestest cat, Lil'While, he catches real live mice. They don’t stay that way long. It’s exciting!
Crazy lady talks about retiring all the time. Are they going to put her to sleep? We kinda like her cause she does what we wants. Hope they don’t do that. Who is they anyway?
She has kittens, you and another one called this “Tracy” thing, but we never seen the Tracy.
You should come visit us. Wes misses ya. Smoke is 15 years old now. My birthday was yesterday. I got pet. The old bat didn’t forget it. (That’s because the vet sent her a notice on the lighted window she sits behind.) I also got canned food.
Well, we wanted to send you a gift, but the only thing we have extra is stuff out of the cat box and the crazy lady said the post office lady wouldn’t like that, so we decided against it. The besturde cat Dusty owns all the cat toys, although he don’t go nowheres near Smoke’s blanket and I have a blanket too. We were able to get crazy lady to get a piece of our hair to send to you. Youse shouldest keep it forevers. It’s from us.
Love you both, come visit. If you see that Santa character, we hear he steals cats so plz shoot his sorry arsse.
Love, Lily the Brendle Cat and Smoke the Magnificent
PS: The old bat did retire and all she does is go to this TreasureNet Place on the little lighted window and chase the stupid squirrels with that dumb machine of hers. She hasn't not brought us ONE squirrell yet!
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