Your best one liner!

[PetesPockets55]

My wife and I were so happy for 20 years, then we met!

You sure have a lot of good one liners.
How do you keep up with them or are you really Red Skelton come back from the great beyond?

 

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[NJearthman]

SALE TODAY!.......Bras half off

 

[Fat]

My mom was immunized with a phonographic needle, nothin the matter with me, nothin the matter with me, nothin the matter with me.

 

[newnan man]

Why don't lepers play poker? Games over when they throw in their hands.

 

[Fat]

Did you hear that if Biden is confirm he is going to re-introduce dogs in the White House? he has to, Camila just can’t catch a frisbee in her mouth...

.

 

[Fat]

What is red and tastes like blue paint?



Red paint....

 

[Gold Maven]

shortest poem, titled "Fleas"

Adam had'em.

 

[Gold Maven]

Young Bull and old Bull looking down into a valley full of cows.
Young bull ,"let's run down there, and breed a cow"
Old Bull, "let's walk down there, and breed them all"

 

[newnan man]

Son, why you be draggin that thar chain? Well, y'all ever try pushing one?

 

[Fat]

A horse walks into a bar the bartender asks why the long face ?

 

[newnan man]

I went to buy some camo pants but couldn't find any.

 

[Fat]

Did you hear what leper said to the prostitute? Keep the tip.

 

[Red-Coat]

I always keep an empty milk bottle in my fridge, just in case someone wants a black coffee.

If whales are so intelligent, why do they swim near Japan?

A problem shared is a problem halved. Unless your problem is understanding fractions.

Just heard that the Pillsbury Doughboy has died. Tragic case. Yeast infection.

I discovered it's not so easy to donate a kidney as you think. They ask all sorts of questions, like: "Where did you get it?" and "Whose is it?"

I found a Stradivarius and a Picasso in the attic. Not worth much though. Stradivarius couldn't paint and Picasso made rubbish violins.

Microsoft made me strengthen my Windows password. They said it had to be eight characters, so I chose "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs"

Like my Grandad always said: "as one door closes, another opens". Lovely man, terrible cabinet maker.

 

[newnan man]

It takes a lot of balls to golf like me.

 

[CoinHunterAZ]

Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch vigorously where it itches.

 

[Fat]

Im sry it’s taking me so long to get back with you all but I lost my wife. We were at Walmart, I let her out and went to park the car.


Little Jimmy Dickens used to have lots of this type when he hosted the grand ol opry.

 

[MachineX]

Don't run behind a bus, you may get exhausted.

 

[Fat]

I was a painter for four years, didn’t think I would ever get my house painted

 

[Fat]

Nowadays I drive around in a state truck and through pieces of tires out along the road

 

[minerjosh]

I might be ugly but at least I don't have any money