prospecting joke

[Teenagegoldminer]

im going to start posting prospecting jokes whenever i can






newbies be like...



the manufacturer ripped me off on this sluice

 

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[Nitric]

Yes!.....I also hear you have to pay extra for one with gold in it!!

 

[Teenagegoldminer]

lol that makes the bad day we had worth it

 

[H&F909ORO]

I got a chuckle outa that one. Keep it up.

 

[Goodyguy]

An old prospector……


An old prospector shuffled into town leading an old tired mule. The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town to clear his parched throat. He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.


As he stood there brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, 'Hey old man, have you ever danced?'


The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, 'No, I never did dance, -- and just never wanted to.' A crowd had gathered quickly and the gunslinger grinned and said, 'Well, you old fool, you're gonna' dance now,' and started shooting at the old man's feet.


The old prospector in order to not get a toe blown off or his boots perforated was soon hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet and everybody was laughing fit to be tied. When the last bullet had been fired the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon. The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers back. The loud, audible double clicks carried clearly through the desert air.


The crowd stopped laughing immediately. The young gunslinger heard the sounds, too, and he turned around very slowly. The quiet was almost deafening.
The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old timer and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels. He found it hard to swallow.. The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old man's hands.


The old man said, 'Son, did you ever kiss a mule's ass?'
The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, 'No. But I've always wanted to.'

 

[Reed Lukens]

I know that the owner of this dredge wasn't laughing then but
I'm still laughing

 

[Nitric]

I know that the owner of this dredge wasn't laughing then but
I'm still laughing

View attachment 1090914

Now, this would be my luck! No doubt about it!

 

[NorCalPilot]

that sub made it pretty far upriver.

 

[NeoTokyo]

Someone took their Submersible dredge a little too far....

 

[goldenIrishman]

that sub made it pretty far upriver.

Better hope the DEA doesn't see that picture! They'll think it's one of those Colombian drug running subs and they'll have yet another government agency to deal with in that area!

 

[bedrock bubba]

Two gold miners are out in the desert when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can I do?”
The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: “Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.” There is a silence, then a shot is heard.
The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: “OK, now what?“

 

[NeoTokyo]

oh that's just bad. lol

 

[KevinInColorado]

Jack decided to go prospecting with his buddy, Bob. So they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible storm. They pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night.


'I realize its terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained. 'I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house.'


'Don't worry,' Jack said 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn, and if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light. The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night.


Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of digging and headed home with gold in their pans.


But about nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the prospecting weekend.


He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, 'Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our prospecting trip up north about 9 months ago?'

'Yes, I do.' said Bob.

'Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?'

'Well, um, yes!, Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I have to admit that I did.'

'And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?'

Bob's face turned beet red and he said, 'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy, I'm afraid I did.' 'Why do you ask?'







'She just died and left me everything.'

And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?...

 

[Reed Lukens]

True Story - SO Tom, Arkansas Steve and I are down dredging in the black water hole.


We got it deep enough that it was time for someone to go under. Steve hadn't black water dived before and it was Toms turn. SO we converted the dredge over and had lunch, which was basically salami end chunks, cheddar cheese chunks and Mountain Dew was our choice for quick energy back in the day. We hooked up the T80 air system and Tom went under and started dredging. Back then 10+ years ago we were always black water diving so the person under water was always a little disoriented and it was pretty dangerous. You couldn't see what was going up the hose so we had just cleared this plug up before Tom went under



So down he went with Steve next to him and he was handing Steve the cobbles to toss while I was tending the dredge. The next thing you know my stomach started grumbling and I smelled something rotten, it smelled worse than a skunk's wet dream... Then I smiled at myself, happy with my new thought cause it was pay back time for the last joke that Tom had played on me. I dropped my wet suit, bent over, placed my exhaust port up to the T80 and injected my bad gas directly into the air intake. It was a beauty, it lasted a few seconds, and it was a perfect shot. A smile crossed my face and the next thing you know Tom started coming out of the dredge hole with tears in his eyes, coughing and gagging so hard that we couldn't understand what he was trying to say. We finally gave him some water and he was able to gasp out, "I'ggg gggot sususome bad air"°°° as he caughed more hahaha. And he truly had gotten some bad air directly injected into his mouth and down into his lungs with a straight shot of my gas from the air regulator°°° hahaha. He couldn't go anywhere cause he was underwater, his mask fogged up, he couldn't take a breath cause that bad air would make Pepe le'Pew proud, and he couldn't see anything under the black water anyway till he came up. He sat there stunned for a couple minutes and then all hell broke loose after he peeled the residue out of his mouth


I don't remember what he had done to me from a few weeks before but he never did out due that day when I caught him, got him, and wrapped the inside of his mouth with my own style of bubble wrap.



Tom and I met in 1988 and started mining together in the summer of 89, we've had a great life of gold mining together and that day, that joke from way back on October 5th of 2003, still comes up as the best pay back day ever.

 

[goldenIrishman]

Reed... That was COLD! What ever he did to deserve THAT kind of payback must have been REALLY bad! Remind me, should we ever meet in person, to paint a white stripe down the back of your wetsuit as a warning to others.

 

[MrTim4Gold]

I know that the owner of this dredge wasn't laughing then but
I'm still laughing

View attachment 1090914

hey..at least it isnt down river no? haha

 

[Bonaro]

Two prospectors, one old, one young, are leading their mules around the desert when they meet in a small draw. The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I 'm looking for my wife, She is my mining partner and I guess I
wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

The young guy says, "That's OK, it's a coincidence. I'm looking for my mining partner, too... I can't find her anywhere and I'm getting a little desperate."

The old guy says,"Well, maybe I can help you find her... what does she look like?" The young guy says, "Well, she is 27 yrs. old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, she is thin and buxom...wearing no bra,
long legs, and is wearing short shorts.
What does your wife look like?'

To which the old guy says, "Doesn't matter, --- let's look for yours."