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Thread: Wife just doesnt get it...

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  1. #16
    us
    Sargent Dictator

    Jul 2012
    Sterling VA
    175
    42 times
    Prospecting
    My girlfriend hate when I go detect, just "loose" her ring and save the day by finding it. Problem Solved
    Xtina and Mzjavert like this.
    2012 Goals

    37/40 Rosie Dimes
    3/10 Merc Dimes
    0/5 Standing Liberty Dimes

    0/2 Silver Quarters

    2/50 Halfs (40%)
    2/10 Halfs (90%)

    4/20 War Nickels

    4/20 Wheaties

    0/1 Silver Dollar

  2. #17

    Mar 2007
    Salinas, CA
    Explorer II, Compass 77b, Tesoro shadow X2
    6,165
    1820 times
    Banner Finds (3)
    JT1080, yes that's your opinion, and yes, that's what he asked for. So do-tell, when you tell your wife "I want to enjoy the outdoors and blow off steam" (as you say you say, in honesty), do you get to go detecting? Or does it result in a "talking about it" that results in your eventually tiring, and simply staying home? Or perhaps she says "sure, go ahead", (in which case, you have a great wife!). I'm just curious, as this is a very contentious thing for me right now.

    One time, I was in the middle of a howling storm, where the beach had eroded down to bedrock, and the time of low tide was late-at-night. My wife called right when I was in the thick of things and said "where are you? why aren't you home yet?" and "It's late, time to come home now", etc.... Now mind you, I was digging coins hand over fist (multiple coins per basket, as fast as I could dig), ...... so ....... what do I do? Engage in a elongated cell-phone call over the pros and cons of "whether it's time to come home and help hang pictures" ?

    I'm sincerely interested in what to do in cases like this, when ...... sure ... none of us men would say to "be a j*rk" and "lie" etc.... however, "being honest" and saying "gee honey, I'm doing really good right now, I want to stay longer" simply has no effect on some women. They would simply engage you in a conversation, where ......... you eventually give up, and say "yes dear" ?
    Metal detecting is my one worldy vice!

  3. #18
    us
    Feb 2010
    Vancouver WA
    Chug)Whites Classic 5 ID, (Red Whites Coin master Pro) Chug and Reds New Additions Give It Up>> Garrett's AT Pro Buttercup>> Garrett's Ace 250
    6,492
    1228 times
    Metal Detecting
    Honorable Mentions (1)
    Quote Originally Posted by adaminnh View Post
    So yeah, im crabby. Im really wanting to hunt today but SHE is being a pill about it. Why? Could she really want me miserably moping around doing yard work? I put off a job even so I could go out today. (she dosent know that, sorry honey). Doesnt she realize that in a couple more weeks we're gonna be burried in snow and ice making my new found addiction impossible? I havent hunted in days now. Whats it gonna be like in february? Sure i'll have tons of clad to wash...but I might go insane. I can see myself pacing down the haul with an invisible machine and a wierd twitch in one eye. How do you folks cope with a long winter. How do you cope with a wife who just doesnt get it?
    I feel your pain. Chug got me by one day when I was sick, he came home with a dirt clod, and he handed it to me with a smile. I washed it off in the sink, and 10 minutes later I had a little heart on a chain. It was junk, but oh my goodness, the rush was great, and I suddenly got it! As soon as my health improved enough, I started going out with him. Now you can't keep me home, my number one favorite things to hunt? Relics, and Chug is really surprised that I enjoy it so much, that little heart? I wear it now and then, it's tarnished and warn, but I love it!!! Trry doing that with her, or have her work with your detector in the yard or whatever, or even hide something and have her find it, dude, do what you can!!! And meanwhile, hang in there! Red
    Lady Pirate and Xtina like this.
    "It cant Always Be Silver Or Gold But It Is A Hell Of an Experience Pulling It Out Of the Dirt"

    Metal detecting is Like A Marathon, Your Running fast then start Slowing A Bit The You Find Something Interesting And You Pick Up the Pace!!! The Only Difference is If You Are Addicted to this Hobby there Is NO FINISH LINE HH Chug And Red

  4. #19
    us
    May 2012
    PA
    Minelab Safari, Garrett ACE 250, Garrett Pro Pointer, Lesche Digger
    487
    117 times
    Metal Detecting
    Use this line: Look honey, you got two choices..you can get mad or you can GET OVER IT.....Then walk out the door and go...it's as easy as that.

    Enough said.

  5. #20

    Apr 2006
    Los Angeles
    Garrett Infinium, Compass Gold Scanner, Maxi Pulse, Gardner with a 3 foot loop, PDF1000, & Dowsing rods,
    464
    46 times
    Stay single and raise your kids that way too!
    Rich

  6. #21
    Charter Member
    us
    Director-Search & Recovery Team of Oakland County.

    Aug 2005
    In Michigan now.
    Excal 1000, Excal II, Sovereign GT, CZ-20, Tiger Shark, Tejon, GTI 1500, Surfmaster Pulse, CZ6a, DFX, AT PRO, Fisher 1235, Surf PI Pro, 1280-X, many more because I enjoy learning them.
    11,988
    2109 times
    All Types Of Treasure Hunting
    Aside from smacking her in the mouth and spending the rest of your life sleeping in the dog house if she didn't take that too, you could always buy her a ring, rub some dirt on it and tell her you found it for her. Soon if she is like the other greedy types, she'll soon be cutting the grass and telling you to go detecting.
    Last edited by Sandman; Oct 31, 2012 at 09:52 PM.
    lookindown likes this.
    (C) Sandman, 2005. All Rights Reserved.
    "TIME IS THE ONLY THING YOU NEVER GET BACK, WHY WASTE IT SWINGING A DETECTOR THAT ISN'T UP TO THE TASK."

  7. #22
    us
    Jul 2011
    245
    113 times
    The last time I bought jewelry for my wife was her wedding band back in 1998 (same year I started detecting)
    When I first started she would nag a little. Once she started picking the rings she liked, she then insisting on me going.

  8. #23
    us
    Sep 2012
    Southwestern America
    Garrett Ace 250
    289
    72 times
    All Types Of Treasure Hunting
    I think getting your wife involved is an excellent idea! If you love each other it shouldn't be too hard for one's obsession to spill over onto the other. Plus, teaching her to use a pin-pointer might be exciting with all of the nooks and crannies you could tuck the test object into...

    enjoy the hunt because treasure is where you find it,
    cc
    Sandman, Xtina and Chug And Red like this.

  9. #24
    Charter Member
    us
    Director-Search & Recovery Team of Oakland County.

    Aug 2005
    In Michigan now.
    Excal 1000, Excal II, Sovereign GT, CZ-20, Tiger Shark, Tejon, GTI 1500, Surfmaster Pulse, CZ6a, DFX, AT PRO, Fisher 1235, Surf PI Pro, 1280-X, many more because I enjoy learning them.
    11,988
    2109 times
    All Types Of Treasure Hunting
    Calvin, either you or I have a dirty mind.....
    Xtina and lookindown like this.
    (C) Sandman, 2005. All Rights Reserved.
    "TIME IS THE ONLY THING YOU NEVER GET BACK, WHY WASTE IT SWINGING A DETECTOR THAT ISN'T UP TO THE TASK."

  10. #25
    us
    Sep 2012
    Southwestern America
    Garrett Ace 250
    289
    72 times
    All Types Of Treasure Hunting
    The vibrating alarm feature on some pin-pointer's has been proven to produce the best results...Most wives have no complaints after thorough testing!

    peace,
    cc
    Xtina, Chug And Red and Mzjavert like this.

  11. #26
    us
    Oct 2012
    E Oregon
    Whites DFX, V3, Tesoro Lobo supertrack
    15
    1 times
    All Types Of Treasure Hunting
    My first wife told it's either her or my hobbies...my second said it was her or the dog(Blitz), now I have a dog that loves to go with me everywhere and we go detecting, shed hunting, fishing, etc whenever we feel like it and weather permits. I only date women that like my dog and my hobbies now, and my retirement has been a blast so far!! Get her interested in detecting by hook or by crook! You'll enjoy your time together and/or she'll understand how you feel when you have to stay home and do house work while she goes metal detecting!

  12. #27
    Charter Member
    us
    Cat teaches man, not everything here serves him.

    Feb 2011
    S. Fl.
    Minelab Excal II, Garrett, Tesoro
    3,354
    2474 times
    All Types Of Treasure Hunting
    Quote Originally Posted by Tom_in_CA View Post
    adaminnh, well, you know what they tell you, from the time you're a little kid in grade school, right?: Whenever you find yourself in a disagreement like this, the way to resolve conflict is you "talk about it" with the person. Right? Sounds so simple, and who can argue with "talking about it", right? It just "rolls off the tongue". But as I'm sure you've discovered thus far (as have a lot of us married guys), that the trouble with this "solution", is that this process of "talking about it", is never OVER...........
    Jesus H. Macy. I'ma girl and that's about all the "talking about it" I can take!
    tomincal, adminnh(and maybe some of you others) if you are having this much difficulty communicating with your wife, I would suspect there is a deeper problem, besides just you going MDing.

    The definition of insanity is repeating the same action expecting a different outcome.
    If what you have been doing has not been working, take in some new info on the subject (ie, your relationship/marraige), and see if a different approach, may be bring you some desired results. I am sure there would be info here that you can employ and share with your spouse.
    Relationships | Psychology Today

    Perhaps some new and better understandings could come about. If she don't think it's important (your relationship/marraige) to learn and nurture it, well, that may not be a good sign. If you don't feel it's important (your relationship/marraige) to learn and nurture it, well........again, not a good sign. Failure of either partner to accept that their relationship/marraige is important and matters, would cause these last two articles, to make even more sense, at least to me.
    Narcissism
    Strategies to Deal with a Victim Mentality | Psychology Today

    Isn't it all about what's important in life and how to get what you want out of it?
    Good luck with them wives guys!


    Metal Detecting: The only hobby that you don't have to worry about what he is chasing!
    midnightmoon and Sandman like this.
    Yesterday is history, tomorow a mystery. All we have is the here and now, it's a special gift. That's why we call it "The Present"

    Pity the poor agnostic dyslexic insomniac who lies awake at night wondering if there really is a Dog.

    https://www.etsy.com/shop/patharp?ref=si_shop

  13. #28

    Mar 2007
    Salinas, CA
    Explorer II, Compass 77b, Tesoro shadow X2
    6,165
    1820 times
    Banner Finds (3)
    pat-tekker-cat, when you say this dilema is: " .... difficulty communicating with your wife ....", then sure. We'd all like better "communication". The trouble is, the definition of communication is..... for some persons .... is that it's only "over" when you've uttered the words "yes dear". Otherwise, ....... well ... the discussion isn't over yet.

    So you see, it's possible that some persons (husbands can be JUST as guilty for the their input on the desires of their wives) who simply look at any such communication as on-going, until you concur and agree. Short of that, well .......the "communicating" isn't over yet, since there's not mutual concurance. You see how couples who are each ... uh ... "self confident" in nature, it can, indeed, create situations of "ties" or "impasses" that no amount of "talking about it" causes the other person to perk up and say "oh yeah, now I get it. It IS a good idea that you metal detect" (or buy the 100th pair of shoes, or whatever).

    So the issue here is, "what do you do in the case of ties"? To say "talk about it" (or "communicate" or whatever word you want to use), is circular. Because the very definition of a "tie" implies that the couple has already talked about it, to have arrived at this "tie" to begin with (lest there wouldn't be a "tie"). It's certainly not fair for a man to always detect, and ignore all domestic and husbandly love and attention. But conversely, nor is it fair that there be a wife who stops her husband from going out, when he really wants to. Like when the storms are eroding the beach, or a sidewalk demo. just occurred in the heart of old-town that's only going to last 1 night, etc.....

    "If what you have been doing has not been working, take in some new info on the subject (ie, your relationship/marraige), and see if a different approach, may be bring you some desired results. "

    Those of us, in the predicament of this thread's discussion, would love to know that "new info", and "different approach", that will melt our wives, and allow us to hunt without being in the dog-house.
    Last edited by Tom_in_CA; Nov 01, 2012 at 02:43 AM.
    Sandman likes this.
    Metal detecting is my one worldy vice!

  14. #29
    us
    Sep 2012
    Santa Clarita
    Garrett AT Pro
    200
    63 times
    All Types Of Treasure Hunting
    Quote Originally Posted by Tom_in_CA View Post
    JT1080, yes that's your opinion, and yes, that's what he asked for. So do-tell, when you tell your wife "I want to enjoy the outdoors and blow off steam" (as you say you say, in honesty), do you get to go detecting? Or does it result in a "talking about it" that results in your eventually tiring, and simply staying home? Or perhaps she says "sure, go ahead", (in which case, you have a great wife!). I'm just curious, as this is a very contentious thing for me right now.

    One time, I was in the middle of a howling storm, where the beach had eroded down to bedrock, and the time of low tide was late-at-night. My wife called right when I was in the thick of things and said "where are you? why aren't you home yet?" and "It's late, time to come home now", etc.... Now mind you, I was digging coins hand over fist (multiple coins per basket, as fast as I could dig), ...... so ....... what do I do? Engage in a elongated cell-phone call over the pros and cons of "whether it's time to come home and help hang pictures" ?

    I'm sincerely interested in what to do in cases like this, when ...... sure ... none of us men would say to "be a j*rk" and "lie" etc.... however, "being honest" and saying "gee honey, I'm doing really good right now, I want to stay longer" simply has no effect on some women. They would simply engage you in a conversation, where ......... you eventually give up, and say "yes dear" ?

    Here is the short of it. I'm not a lazy a** who sits around and procrastinates. If something needs to be done around the house, I do it.. Immediately. Why wait to the point where you have to feel like you wife is "nagging". I never understood that and I never will.

    if you're not confident or capable of being honest with your wife, well, that's not my problem and it's probably something that needs to be worked on.

    As far as the continuation of this thread, it's over for me. Last I checked it was a treasure hunting forum. When it starts to deviate from that, it's where of hop off the train.

  15. #30
    us
    Apr 2009
    Bronx
    Tesoro Golden Umax Whites DFX 300
    206
    104 times
    Your right, she's just not getting it! Go and buy her a nice ring and tell her you found it metal detecting. She will be pushing you out the door to go and hunt.

 

 
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