Wife just doesnt get it...

[adaminnh]

So yeah, im crabby. Im really wanting to hunt today but SHE is being a pill about it. Why? Could she really want me miserably moping around doing yard work? I put off a job even so I could go out today. (she dosent know that, sorry honey). Doesnt she realize that in a couple more weeks we're gonna be burried in snow and ice making my new found addiction impossible? I havent hunted in days now. Whats it gonna be like in february? Sure i'll have tons of clad to wash...but I might go insane. I can see myself pacing down the haul with an invisible machine and a wierd twitch in one eye. How do you folks cope with a long winter. How do you cope with a wife who just doesnt get it?

 

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[Chug And Red]

I have been married twice. Once for 7+ years and once for 10+ years (no children). Both times, my wife was my best friend. Honestly, I could not imagine not involving them in everything I/we did. Possibly because of such a fulfilling homelife I never had the desire to go to the strip clubs or out with the boys.

The thing is, if two people truly love and, just as importantly, respect each other then the answer truly is as simple as "talking about it". Something as honest as "This is really important to me and I wish that we could share it." should do the trick.

And if you don't love and respect each other...well there's an answer for that also. Your spouse should be your trusted partner, she has your back and you have hers...mutual support. The world is too crazy for deceit in the home!

peace,
cc

You said it all, and that's why our marriage works, we have been married for almost 18 years, and have never had a fight. Yes we get frustrated, that's when we walk away, to think and calm down, then we talk, and things work out. He is my best freind, and any time we get to spend together is never taken for granted. Red

 

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[YoungBlood]

TELL ME ABOUT IT!!!WOMEN!!!

 

[crazyfish]

I'm guessing you guys that are posting some of this stuff, aren't married...lol

I've been married 5 years, but was with her 12 years prior to that so = 17 years together

I would get punched if my wife knew some of the crazy remarks I make, although she'd expect it from me

 

[nowwhat]

when ever my wife's feeling blue and moping around, I get out the old white classic lll and tell her I'm going out treasure hunting. Shes still laughing when I get back home.

 

[Newfiehunter]

I once had a gf who said, Quote, "Your detector will disappear like Jimmy Hoffa" End Quote. Guess what? We are no longer together!!

If a woman cannot support you and what you enjoy doing for a few hours during the week, then perhaps you should reconsider that relationship. You need your alone time. Don't want to sound like Dr. Phil here but you do deserve to be apart at times. Anyway, good luck with your misses......

 

[bobcat]

Give me freedom and more metal detecting .........not slavery and more work

 

[DirtDiggerDaveinMD]

Boy, some of you guys are whipped. Fetch your balls from her purse and go detecting.

 

[Farwalker]

I just go! No where on my marriage license, or in the vows I gave. Did I give away my right to Live Liberty and the persuit of coin.
I mean happiness.I love and respect my wife, but Slavery is agin the law.She calls my medal detector "The other woman" Yepper
and she,s a real hummer to. Can ya dig it?

 

[Tom_in_CA]

reply

Boy, some of you guys are whipped. Fetch your balls from her purse and go detecting.

Dave, in-lieu of such an answer, then what do you if:

a) she merely uses such a stance to simply do the same to you, in return? In other words, if there's something she wants to do (spend all your hard-earned money, for instance, on shopping for the 100th pair of shoes), and she just goes and does it, with no input or weight at all, to your objections? I mean, afterall, you did that to her, with your detecting, so what's to stop her from doing that with anything she wants to do? And thus she neglects things she *could* be doing like laundry, dishes, cooking, etc... (things you might have grown accustomed to in the "give and take") ? And if you object to the fact she's not pulling her share, or being cozy when you're in the mood, she can merely cite your attitude about disappearing whenever you feel like metal detecting? I mean, doesn't it work both ways? You'd have no room to object, since afterall, you just did what you nilly-willy felt like, whenever you wanted. Or:

b) you have such a stance, and she gives you the ultimatum: " If you go metal detecting all the time like that, then go find someone else, because I'm not sticking around here alone while you go out detecting all the time." (In other words, it seems to threaten divorce. )

What do you do in either of these scenarios? I too have heard this "boundries" psychology that you espouse (ie.: not letting people run your life, etc...), but often wonder how it can work, if both people "announce" things that end up being contrary to each other. I'm very curious. Certainly it's not logical to simply walk out on someone for trivial reasons, but on the other hand, it's not logical to allow your life to be run by the other person too

 

[DirtDiggerDaveinMD]

Dave, in-lieu of such an answer, then what do you if:

a) she merely uses such a stance to simply do the same to you, in return? In other words, if there's something she wants to do (spend all your hard-earned money, for instance, on shopping for the 100th pair of shoes), and she just goes and does it, with no input or weight at all, to your objections? I mean, afterall, you did that to her, with your detecting, so what's to stop her from doing that with anything she wants to do? And thus she neglects things she *could* be doing like laundry, dishes, cooking, etc... (things you might have grown accustomed to in the "give and take") ? And if you object to the fact she's not pulling her share, or being cozy when you're in the mood, she can merely cite your attitude about disappearing whenever you feel like metal detecting? I mean, doesn't it work both ways? You'd have no room to object, since afterall, you just did what you nilly-willy felt like, whenever you wanted. Or:


Well in my case I have been with the same woman for almost 17 years. She couldn’t spend my hard earned money since we do not have a joint bank account or joint credit cards. We will discuss major purchases or vacation choices, or other items that are of importance. We both contribute to common bills such as rent and such, but her money is hers and my money is mine. I normally pay the majority of the bills and I cook and clean better than her anyway, not that I expect her to cook or clean for me, I’m not a king. So if she wants to buy shoes, a purse, jewelry or whatever she wants, she can. She works hard for her money and can treat herself to things if she chooses. She goes on trips with her girlfriends and does not need to beg me for permission. It's the same with me. If I want to go fishing, to the gun range, or metal detecting I go. Sometimes she comes with me, most times she doesn't. That's ok. The only real trouble we had early on was over my firearms. She didn't like them. Well 17 years later she is still here and so are my guns. Now she wants her own. Go figure.






b) you have such a stance, and she gives you the ultimatum: " If you go metal detecting all the time like that, then go find someone else, because I'm not sticking around here alone while you go out detecting all the time." (In other words, it seems to threaten divorce. )

I feel if a man or woman threatens divorce because their partner has a hobby, then they are insecure and have other issues that need addressing by a licensed professional. I guess I am lucky the woman I am with is not a clingy drama queen. Sounds like these type of people have control issues.





What do you do in either of these scenarios? I too have heard this "boundries" psychology that you espouse (ie.: not letting people run your life, etc...), but often wonder how it can work, if both people "announce" things that end up being contrary to each other. I'm very curious. Certainly it's not logical to simply walk out on someone for trivial reasons, but on the other hand, it's not logical to allow your life to be run by the other person too

See my reply above in blue text.

 

[DocBeav]

Time to trade up to a newer more forgiving model!

 

[jfeeney]

I see that this seemingly never ending thread continues....

 

[DirtDiggerDaveinMD]

So why continue the thread?

 

[Treasure finder]

Lots of people have issues to get off their chests! Let them let off steam.
Rich