NEW CONTEST

[13dolphins1]

The Owl's powerful wings carried him and his prey into the heights of the night sky. The lights of the town
became smaller and smaller until they resembled diamonds scattered on a black cloth.
Tippy could hardly enjoy the view as the talons sinking into her ribs caused excruciating pain, and the Owl's wings were beating the wounds on her tail and ears. Tippy twisted and attempted to bite the Owl,who responded by delivering a lpeck on the top of Tippy's head. Tippy's eyes crossed and she lost conciousness.
When she came to the sky was beginning to lighten in the East.
Goodbye Old Samuel, she thought. There seemed no escape now. She looked down at the planet she had adopted. The little s***-hole of a town,as she fondly called Samuel's village, was nowhere to be seen.
Her child would never know that crime-riddled dump with its colorful hobos urinating in the aisles of the Shoprite..
Below she saw fields and a farm house. A man was strolling to a barn. He looked up and spied the great Owl and Tippy hangly limply in the talobns.
The fellow raced to a truck and retrieved a shotgun.
"Beep! Oh beeping beep!" Tippy shrieked. She had learned to curse from watching broadcast television.
The Redneck raised his gun and the thunder of the shotgun's blast coincided with a burst of quail shot ripping into the pair.
A cloud of feathers and cat fur blossomed and then the Owl was falling toward Earth in a dizzy tailspin.
Unfortunately Tippy was clutched even tighter by the wounded Owl, and together they plunged through the roof of the Amish built barn with it's oak beams.
The victorious whoops of the Redneck almost drowned out the soubd of snapping oak.
Tippy struggled to a sitting position. She had landed in a fresh cow pie but she was free.
The featherless Owl also rose from the stinking pool of manure.
"Wow. That was a hoot," he said. Tippy snatched up a horseshoe and smacked the Owl between his eyes. As the Owl sank into the manure the barn doors opened and the Redneck strolled into the barn with his shotgun held ready.
Tippy could think of only one thing to do. She shape-shifted into a...

Hot farm maid just as the farmer entered the barn. As farmer Bob eyes saw the Owl they quickly shifted from it to shock! Dropping his pitchfork....."well holy pigs humping! Where did you come from?" Tippy had shape shifted but her powers were limited from her injuries and she couldn't muster enough strength to translate her alien cat language into Farmers English. She was also very fatigued from all her turmoil....and try as she might she slowly felt her consciousness slipping away.
When she/it/shape shifting alien awoke she swore she could hear Honest Sam's voice "Tippy, Tippy". She quickly realized that it could not be him as he still would not be awake from his 16 hour naptime. Looking around the darkness Tippy suddenly realized she was still in human form and she was doing ok and hadn't changed back to her alien cat self when suddenly a door opened and in walked......

 

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[sjvalleyhunter]

Last

 

[13dolphins1]

Nobody is laster than
The Dr. Of
Last

 

[Honest Samuel]

There's an unbelievable prize for the last comment!

That would be a large picture of naken Tippy worth millions.

 

[Honest Samuel]

Of course, while I am here, I may as well to be Last again and again.

 

[13dolphins1]

Nobody is laster than
The Dr. Of
Last

Now Hear This
For Those Confused fellas
PLEASE Read quoted text
Last

 

[Hillbilly Prince]

That would be a large picture of naken Tippy worth millions.

Wait. I got naked cats all over here. Come on!

 

[Honest Samuel]

I got bad news for all of you. Tippy just hire a attorney to sue each of you for 20 millions dollars each.

 

[Honest Samuel]

My good people, I highly recomment that you all drink a lot of water.

 

[13dolphins1]

My fellow lasters
I come to you today to explain that Dolphin
Is and will always be
Last

 

[Hillbilly Prince]

Hot farm maid just as the farmer entered the barn. As farmer Bob eyes saw the Owl they quickly shifted from it to shock! Dropping his pitchfork....."well holy pigs humping! Where did you come from?" Tippy had shape shifted but her powers were limited from her injuries and she couldn't muster enough strength to translate her alien cat language into Farmers English. She was also very fatigued from all her turmoil....and try as she might she slowly felt her consciousness slipping away.
When she/it/shape shifting alien awoke she swore she could hear Honest Sam's voice "Tippy, Tippy". She quickly realized that it could not be him as he still would not be awake from his 16 hour naptime. Looking around the darkness Tippy suddenly realized she was still in human form and she was doing ok and hadn't changed back to her alien cat self when suddenly a door opened and in walked......

the farmer with a timid twenty-something lad behind him. The boy peered nervously over the farmer's shoulders.
"Here ya go son. You can finally apply the learnin' you got from that pervert Sam and his cow on a real gal."
Tippy looked about for an escape and she saw the shotgun leaningn a corner. With a boundshe snached it up and started shooting as her captors screeched and dove outside. Luckily for the pair Ipy was a bad shot even with a shotgun and the two were able to run across a cornfield asTipy ran and jumed in the farm truck which had the key always in the ignition like all farm trucks. In a moment Tippy was roarng down the dirt road to freedom.
However she was soon lost on the backroads and it was past noon by the time she spotted a town in the distance. As she rolled up to the beginning of Main street a loud clang came from the engine and a piston shot through the rusted hood as black smoke enveloped the vehicle.
Like most females, Tippy had no idea the engine had overheated and seized and she tried to start the truck repeatedly to no avail.
Finally she got out and grabbed a greasy red-checked
flannel shirt as well as a diesel soaked billed cap which had I Heart Girls on the the front.
She dressed and sat out barefoot down a cracked sidewalk.
The first building housed a package store. Next came a feed store, followed by a bar. Thereafter was a tiny flea market and then another bar. Next came a small diner and finally a bar which had "Sassy's Exotuc Dancers and Likker" painted on a large grimy window.
Tippy stoid in the heat with sweat running down her face while she wondered how she would get back ti Sam as well as find a Metal Detector.
Just then a slender girl with red ribbons upon her waterfall of black curling hair and wearing a red corset with a matching skirt opened the door and stepped out of Sassy's.
Her blue eyes widened and her ruby lips parted as she came face to face with Tippy.
"I...I..." She stammered as a fetching blush colored her pale cheeeks. Then she...

 

[against the wind]

I framed out the bridge that will go over the drainage trench between my neighbor's and my property.
Tomorrow I'll pick up and install 2x8 planks.

 

[13dolphins1]

I framed out the bridge that will go over the drainage trench between my neighbor's and my property.
Tomorrow I'll pick up and install 2x8 planks.

That should do the job nicely

 

[diggummup]

I hate AT&T and Direct TV. Comcast is just as bad. They should all be put out of business and upper management should be locked up. Last!

 

[13dolphins1]

I hate AT&T and Direct TV. Comcast is just as bad. They should all be put out of business and upper management should be locked up. Last!

I called Comcasr and told them that they were to expensive and were were dropping cable for better online sources. They have me cable, internet and HBO for 77.00 (tax included). Now I'm keeping them....lol

 

[sjvalleyhunter]

By golly I’m last!

 

[13dolphins1]

Sorry valley....but I am now
Last

 

[sjvalleyhunter]

No apology necessary, particularly since I am back in

Last

 

[Hillbilly Prince]

I called Comcasr and told them that they were to expensive and were were dropping cable for better online sources. They have me cable, internet and HBO for 77.00 (tax included). Now I'm keeping them....lol

This is how you play them. Six months repeat lol

 

[Hillbilly Prince]

Then you say I'm last. Tired of being last all the time. Just sayin'. Oldkoot sucked into black hole of this thread?