Seekers of the Serrana Treasure ( a sample)

Daryl Friesen

Sr. Member
Mar 21, 2003
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Vancouver,British Columbia
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Here is a clip from a new book I am almost done. Its not perfect in the grammar department but I am just hoping to get some feedback and was wondering what you think. Have a read.

[FONT=&quot]The Omega continues its journey around Guanja island.Daryl gazes at the island. Memories from the past flood his mind, visions of past treasure quests to the Bay islands and friendships which were now lost dust. But the search has always continued and I guess it always will,he thinks to himself and besides there are still many treasures to be found near Guanja that he has been keeping to himself. But those would have to wait as the current mission was far more important.Kaiser takes out his binoculars and scans the horizon.

"We have a blue jet boat following us!" Kaiser gasps.
"Yes, those are Fino's rivals they watch the comings and goings of the Omega."

"How many rivals does Fino have?" Daryl asks."They are members of a Colombian drug cartel.. they use many of the Cays even some as far out as the Serrana banks where we are headed .It's going to be an adventure if we succeed and a tragedy if we fail....but all life's a gamble... to live is to gamble and to that a good drink.!"Jennings slurs taking a drink from his flask and making a toast to any of the gods up above that might actually be listening.

As the omega makes her way south of Roatan island heading in the direction of the sierra no banks.Daryl takes out the map given to him by Fino."This map shows the location of The sunken amigo shipwreck," Daryl explains."I wonder why Fino is sending you after this treasure now..let me tell you the man is not hurting for cash."

The omega cruises for hrs over the waves of the Caribbean sea dark clouds are forming in the west. A strong breeze makes for mild choppy seas...Sending Daryl running and puking over the side of the boat."Hah, a old salty sea dog you are not!" Jennings laughs.
"And what about you old man you seem to be handling yourself?"Jennings yells as a wave crashes into the bow of the ship spraying the windshield with water.

"Nothing will show a man how small he is like the pounding ocean...we are ants floating on chaos." Captain Jennings yells into the air.Daryl walks into the galley his stomach churned as one more wave crashed into the ship sending him sprawling across the galley floor.
Hours later the oceans are a flat calm as the sun goes down.We should be closing in on serrana when the sun comes up...captain Jennings says.The omega cruises over calm seas through the night.

As the adventurers sleep calmly through the night."Wake up kids!" the captain calls, from the wheelhouse we are approaching the banks. Daryl and Kaiser run into wheelhouse Map in hand as the do a waves crash against the bow and the wind starts howling.
"You see the third quay over there..just off the south point of it. I have to dive Daryl says taking a big gulp as he feels the fear gathering within.

Captain Jennings takes the boat over towards the quay. There are massive breakers and the wind howls harder sending giant waves crashing into the Omega knocking Daryl and Kaiser."The wind is insane we need shelter or we are going to die!".
The captain turns away from the location heading for a small island that does have a harbor..the captain hides in the harbour facing the island out of the wind.He drops anchor.The waves crash against the haul of the boat for most of the night making for a rocky sleep.In the morning the skies clear and the ocean is calm.

"Get up lads! Now's the time to hit your target before the winds come up again.!"
Kaiser raises anchor captain Jennings demands. Daryl get your gear ready!"The captain takes the omega back out to sea hiding towards the location Daryl has marked on the map.
In his cabin, Daryl is frantic, he puts on a light wetsuit straps a knife to his leg cleans his masks and grabs his underwater metal detector and heads for the wheelhouse.He looks out at the churning ocean the wind has already started to pick up..."In about one minute we are going to be over your target." Captain Jennings explains.Daryl heads to the back of the boat where Kaiser is standing on deck smoking a cigar a look of concern on his face
"Are you sure you know what your doing?" Kaiser asks."Kinda. " Daryl gulps.
"Okay, get ready we are almost on top of it".The Captain repeats."You know I saw a fin when you were getting ready."kaiser says
"A fin, like what kind of fin?"

"Ok this is it!" Captain Jennings yells from the wheelhouse.Daryl takes one more breath puts in his mouthpiece straps on his tank and jumps overboard into the churning sea.
Swimming down into the blue ocean depths as he looks around dozens of small fish zoom around him as he swims down to the bottom and looks around he can see nothing but sand. No visible shipwreck in site.

The good stuff would be hidden under the ocean sands. But Finos Amigo was sunk in 1920s.. Should be something visible left.he keeps swimming along the bottom for several minutes scanning the bottom for any sigh of visible shipwreck.. swimming along the edges of the reef.. he looks down and can sees what looks like several pieces of rotted wood sticking out of the sand.. he swims over the site and turns on the detector and begins to scan the bottom. He can feel his heart racing in his chest as he moves the detector back and fourth across the bottom several small fish pause and watch him.

Within seconds the detector beeps through his headphones he takes out his dive knife and starts digging into the sandy gravely ocean bottom he soon unearths two old rusty nails.
I didn't come this far to only find nails he thinks to himself. Looking at the nails and there round heads. Those are not from an ancient wreck must be getting close.

He keeps searching and he soon gets a second hit on his detector..this one has a higher tone and sends Daryl"s adrenalin pumping... The detector was making a golden tone.He starts digging with a greater sense of urgency.Kaiser stands on the deck looking around impatiently... "I have to go down there!" he thinks walking into the wheelhouse. Where captain Jennings scans the horizon with binoculars.
"What do you see Captain? Kaiser asks.
"There's a second vessel a few miles to the north-west.!"
"Should we be concerned? I have to help Daryl I feel useless got a second tank and a mask around here?"
"In the gear room you"

Kaisers finds a mask and a tank straps it on his back thinks back to the last time he went diving in Hawaii twenty years ago when he still owned his second-hand store in mission
And was flushed with cash, before the dark times.Kaiser walks to the edge of the omega and jumps into the turbulent ocean.

Daryl keeps digging in the sand frantically the sand fills the water and pretty soon he can not see a thing not before out of the corner of his eye he catches a glimpse of yellow flashing in the sand a butter like yellow like the gold flakes of kanaka creek or the nuggets of the lost creek mine. He reaches through the swirling sandy ocean towards the yellow glint and grabs it his hands wrapping around an ancient golden cylinder that was once apart of the Mitchell-Hedges treasure and the very artefact Fino had hired him to recover. As he feels the sweet glow of success reality closes in on him as the ocean current sweeps him off his flippers sending him tumbling across the sandy bottom.

Just as Kaiser arrives. Kaiser graps Daryl's arm stopping his tumble and the two men look at each other Daryl points to the surface and the two prospectors turned divers shot to the surface.

As they break, the surface the ocean swells are ragging.Kaiser Friesen yells.. holding up a gold cylinder looking object.Kaiser gasps as he sees the gleam of gold in Daryl's hand before a wave crashes over him sending him back underwater.

Daryl looks around and sees the Omega off in the distance he waves his arms in the air frantically at the boat. He yells at the top of his lung before a wave forces him back underwater as well. He looks underwater and spots the haul of the omega Daryl swims for it Kaiser is just below him swimming in the same direction he turns and gives Daryl and thumbs Kaiser is just below him swimming in the same direction he turns and gives Daryl and thumbs up. The reach the haul of the omega and climb up the latter and onto the deck...
Kaiser Daryl yells handing the old man the gold cylinder who takes it ito the galley where the captain is waiting for them.." Excellent the Captain says with a smile on his face...
" I will take the cylinder now he grins pulling out colt 45 and
cocking the hammer.
" What!"'
"Hand it over he yells or I will fill you both full of holes.
"Why the ***** should we!" Kaiser yells pulling out his hunting knife and lunging at the Captain.K-BAM K-BAM
Captain Jennings squeezes off two shots shattering the side windows on the port side of the boat.The Captain grabs Kaiser by the arm as he lunges at him. Throwing the old man against the bulkhead. Daryl steps on the Captain's arm in his flipper,kicking the gun out of his hand.The Captain reaches over and grabs his other leg and rips Daryl off his feet sending him crashing onto the floor of the ship.

The Captain reaches down and grabs the gold cylinder which Daryl dropped in the fall.
" I will take that!" Captain Jennings says with a smile of victorysmitten on his face.Kaiser gets to his feet and grabs a Frying pan from the Galley wall and smashes it over the Captain's head, Sending him sprawling to the floor, Daryl gets up and grabs the gold cylinder back out of the Captain's hands.

Let me know what you think.

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