Today's thought - an oxymoron

[spartacus53]

Why is VD called a social disease then there is nothing sociable about it Shouldn't it be called an unsocial disease

[aa battery]

why is aweFULL bad and aweSOME good

[Red James cash]

An old one one but a good one, oxymoron. military inteligence

[Maryland Searcher 2]

Hmmm......Oxymoron.

I thought that was a big dumb guy.....like me, lol!

[ivan salis]

oxymoron -- a person that abuses oxycodine?

[Maryland Searcher 2]

Not sure where I heard these first two, but:

Locks on 24hr. convienience store doors? Why?

Park in a driveway and drive in a parkway?

You have twenty dollars in your checking account. You draw out twenty one dollars. Now you have no money in your account at all.
The bank notices (of course) and charges your account thirty five dollars because you have no money in your account.
Now the bank knows you have NO money, and yet they expect you to pay thirty six dollars to bring your account to zero.
Question is if you had no money before, how do they expect you to pay the thirty dollars fee??

Observing people: I have seen people at the local recreation center drive around the parking lot for half an hour looking for a parking space right next to the building. Then they proceed to walk into the building and get on a treadmill and walk for five miles. If they can walk five miles on a treadmill, is walking an extra fifteen or twenty yards really that much of a bother?

I have also seen people in a snowstorm start to go into a building covered with snow. First they kick off their shoes. Then brush pants onto shoes, then shirt onto pants and lastly hat onto shirt. In the end after all that energy wasted the only thing clean is their hat!!

Definition of irony----P.E.T.A. member who doesnt want anyone to hurt or kill an animal for any reason, but the first time a raccoon jumps out of their trashcan the first words out of their mouth are "Kill it! Kill it!

[Red James cash]

Reading, honest lawyer or,honest politician in the same sentence.

[spartacus53]

Not sure where I heard these first two, but:
Locks on 24hr. convienience store doors? Why?
Park in a driveway and drive in a parkway?

I can tell you where you heard it from... Comedian Steven Wright

[Mental Granny]

Evening news is where they begin with "GOOD EVENING" and then procede to tell you why it isn't.

[stefen]

Here are some more that I garnered from a website:

open secret larger half clearly confused
act naturally alone together Hell's Angels
found missing liquid gas civil engineer
deafening silence seriously funny living dead
Microsoft Works military intelligence jumbo shrimp
Advanced BASIC tragic comedy unbiased opinion
virtual reality definite maybe original copies
pretty ugly same difference plastic glasses
almost exactly constant variable even odds
minor crisis extinct life genuine imitation
exact estimate only choice freezer burn
free love working holiday rolling stop



and the list goes on....and on......and on.....and on.....PLEASE STOP ME

[diggummup]

The very best oxymoron as it applies to today's society is "common sense", bar none hands down.

[stefen]

How about pretty ugly?

Butt ugly I can understand, but pretty ugly?

[poorhunter78]

How about the dine in restaurant Chain. -EAT n PARK-