Bigfoot redeux

[carajou]

Seems to me that people are always in the mood to declare others to be law breakers when there are no laws to be broken. So, while certain people are a little up-in-arms about my proposed shooting of an officially-declared-to-be-a-mythological animal, otherwise known as Bigfoot, I'm going to go out on a limb and propose the following be done a'fore any new laws magically appear on the books by those who cannot wait for their legislature to do the same for real:

We need an expedition to Scotland, with one of those diabolical drift nets, for the purpose of capturing that pesky monster Nessie. I betcha there's a fortune to be made (just once!) for either the exhibit of such an animal at Sea World (with Shamu), or several tons worth of high-protien steaks. If Scotland's too expensive, there's that Pogo thing up in British Columbia, Champ in Lake Champlain, or any number of other lake monsters across the continent. If killing or displaying it is out of the question, then I'm for tagging an ear, putting a transmitter around it's neck, and painting a number on its butt.

We need an expedition to the Congo, deepinhearta darkest Africa. You see, scientists world-wide are laughing there heads off at reports of a dinosaur swimming about the lakes there, and we need to drop a carcass at their front door. If killing it or making it do tricks with a ball is out of the question, then I'm for tagging an ear, placing a transmitter around it's neck, and painting a big number on its butt.

We need an expedition to Puerto Rico. There's this chupacabra-thingy roaming around, grabbing goats and draining their blood. But we do have to be careful about setting humain traps and using rock salt in the shotguns, just in case these chupacabras are a bunch of kids in Gothic-drag on the farms, listening to Pink Floyd or Black Sabbath or similar rotgut like that there. If such kids are captured, can we tag them, place transmitters on their necks, and paint numbers on their butts?

We need an expedition to go deepinahearta Texas. We've got to film a wild jackalope in it's native habitat, which could very well mean undercover work at one of the local strip joints in central Fort Worth.

Capturing any of these denizens of the fantasticorical imagination will be worth a fortune (which is what treasure hunters seek anyway), and it would bring lots of "see-I-told-you-so's" to the critics. Only ceereeus intrepid adventurers need aply. And who knows...there could be the occasional gold nugget to be found nearby!

 

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[jeff of pa]

You Forgot the JERSEY DEVIL ?

altho ;

? ? We need an expedition to go deepinahearta Texas.? We've got to film a wild jackalope in it's native habitat, which could very well mean undercover work at one of the local strip joints in central Fort Worth.?

SOUNDS GOOD.

I'll Volunteer for the UnderCover Work

They Play? Pink Floyd or Black Sabbath There too, Don't They ?

Jeff

 

[carajou]

I'd go for the Jersey Devi tool, but about forty years ago some nature show host and his sidekick were in a helocopter south of Trenton, and spotted the thing on a stump playing a fiddle with some poor dude from Georgia. Well, since the host was on a time limit from their insurance company out west (Omaha, I think), they pulled out a high-powered rifle, loaded an elephant dart, and fired into it's rump. It proved too much for the Jersey Devil to swallow, so it expired.

Sometimes you can see it on old reruns of Wild Kingdom. It's in the corner of the room where that Perkins guy is pointing out the location of a prime waterhole in Africa, before he cuts away to pitch a new premium for retired folk.


As to the jackalope, better be careful. He's the jealous type, and he could ram his antlers into your privates while you're "undercover" with his girlfriend.

 

[Capt. Buzzkill]

Kick ass Carajou....with that list you need to get started...yesterday.

Check out Tom Biscardi.....Mr. Bigfoot

http://www.greatamericanbigfoot.com/

He always needs help on these expeditions...

As far as Nessie....that species is believed to live in nests and caves underwater in the Loch and other places.


CB 8)

 

[carajou]

Thing about animals is the fact that if they're alive, they can be caught.

Most recently, it was the giant squid, caught alive on camera somewhere south of Japan last year. Until then, it was always a dead one washed ashore somewhere that scientists could study.

The joke about Loch Ness is that there is no monster there. Nothing. Since 1932, there have been major expeditions; a few big game hunters, divers, National Geographic, a huge sonar survey in 1988, and thousands upon thousands of tourists...yet not once did anyone bring the net. A good drift net or purse-seine (tuna) net could very easily haul it up. And Loch Ness is pretty confined, as comparred to the real estate Bigfoot is walking over.

I did put that out to the people in Scotland, but no answer. Oh well!

 

[carajou]

I've been to that "greatamericanbigfoot" site you mentioned, and there was this link:

http://www.greatamericanbigfoot.com/corp/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=55&Itemid=43

It's the news section, and it has to do with the very old, very tired, worn-out cliche that a bigfoot was captured, it was receiving medical treatment, and they'll have video soon.

Take a wild guess as to what will never happen...

 

[JT]

Oh, my, this is really good. A motel in Silicon Valley as "The official bigfoot training center''. Bigfoot is alive, captured, receiving medical treatment at an undisclosed location, then is kidnapped by one of the medical team?

Wait a minute.... let me think about that description...eight foot tall, hairy, smelly..... sounds like my mother-in-law.... and she's missing!!! Somebody, quick, call the law!!

You read garbage like what's on that website, and you REALLY wonder why people like that are labelled as kooks. Osama Bin Laden has been bunked up in a cave for four years, and there have been more confirmed sightings of him since then than there have been of Bigfoot in the last fifty years. There's more evidence of the Ivory billed woodpecker's existence than Bigfoot.

If there was a Bigfoot out there, someone would have shot one by now. Oh, that's right, some "mysterious force" overtakes you when you're heavily armed, and you see an Eight foot tall creature flinging 500 pound boulders at you like a Nolan Ryan fastball. This "force" leaves you unable to pull the trigger.....excuse me, I'm laughing so hard, I can barely type...

Sounds like the "force" is chemically induced... alcohol, wacky tobakky, or maybe some of these witnesses have just been in the woods a tad too long.

What's even funnier is that some of you are actually arguing that killing a bigfoot could be against the law, when there is no more evidence supporting it's existence than the tooth fairy or Santa Clause.

At least the Great Pumpkin exists....I saw him on the Charlie Brown cartoon.

Please, somebody... find Nessie, Ogopogo, the Congo dinosaur, Bigfoot, A skunk ape, a thunderbird, the Blair witch, a jackalope, a Keebler elf, or one of many hundreds of other mythical creatures. When you find it... shoot it, and bring the carcass in. That's how you prove it exists.

By the way, I heard jackalope tastes like chicken...

 

[carajou]

I never argued that killing a bigfoot would be against the law; only that killing one would violate no laws. It's the other clowns who insist, get this...that I'm pretending to be a lawyer when I stated this little fact! Soooooo...are they pretneding to be lawyers themselves when they're quoting laws and telling me I've broken them? Film at eleven!

The more I looked at this "greatamericanbigfoot" site, the more I didn't like it. Too much of "here's-what-we're-gonna-do". The pics of bigfoot taking a bath, charging, standing, look faked. By "faked" I mean it's always silhouetted; always out of focus. They are always so close, yet they're always too far. They need more time, more money to do the job. These people collected massive amounts of money to research bigfoot, they planned for months to do it right, they went into the woods to make the hunt, yet they cannot even think to have brought in a better camera? Blurry shots is all they could bring back? It's a joke!

We'll have to kill ourselves a good-sized jackalope and fricassee it in olive oil.

 

[cybercop106]

I prefer my Jackalope crock-potted with barbeque sauce.................................yep, them's good eatin'................
and maybe a side order of Texas Chupacabra http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/forums/viewthread/146/

 

[cybercop106]

No actually, Missouri is semi-famous for it's own version of Bigfoot......MOMO the Show-Me Sasquatch
http://missourifolkloresociety.truman.edu/momo.html

A fairly recent 'claimed' sighting was outside my hometown by a guy I went to high school with
http://www.ghosthaunting.com/html/momo_sightings.html
I grew up in Bourbon, MO and back in about '77, while camping out and exploring around a quarry my friend and I were followed (at a distance and unseen) around the woods outside Leasburg MO by something light brown and hairy. I caught a fleeting glimpse of it through the scope on my .22 rifle. The face kind of reminded me of a dog, but it would have had to be a big one standing on it's hind legs because where I saw it was 6' off the ground.
Can't say it was MOMO, but it definitely made that 17 year old's butt pucker up...............

Anyway, here's some good reading....................

http://www.bigfootencounters.com/creatures/momo.htm
http://www.stateofhorror.com/momo.html

P.S. Did you ever know a cop who didn't give legal advice?!? "Well, if I was you............."

 

[jeff of pa]

Their Saying THIS is Chupacabra ?

It Looks Like a DOG I saw running around over in the Valley 2 - 3 years ago.

MY vote is coyote

 

[cybercop106]

Don't know what it is Jeff, but don't it look tasty...............................
or maybe that's "mangy"?

 

[carajou]

Just a reminder for all the bigfoot believers out there...

I believe in bigfoot too. And if and when I catch one, the hard decision will be what color of paint will I spray the number on its butt with. But I don't like charlatans who say they've got one when they don't; fakers who parade about in monkey suits while their friends pretend to film them; or hucksters who say they're going out on major expeditions without proper planning or worse. That was what that "greatamericanbigfoot" website was all about.

We'd all be better off with someone a bit more professional.

Did the coyote/chupa/dogie taste good? Looks like the hair was taken off, and it's ready for the deep fryer!

 

[Azkid]

I did put that out to the people in Scotland, but no answer.? Oh well!

I certainly hope that you are kidding and not! Arrogant! enough, to think that the "Scots" could care about or to act on, any suggestions from you ?!

 

[JT]

Carajou, you need to check out the thread on the "Waterstone" treasure. Instead of eight foot tall, hairy beasts, some people on that thread swear to the existence of a tiny, magical creature variously referred to as a troll, leprechuan, elf, or just "little people".

Apparently, this creature is capable of sprinkling fairy dust on you.

And no, it's not from San Francisco....

 

[JT]

I forgot to mention....these little oompa loompas not only helped fight in the Civil War, but they also guard a treasure valued at over $30 billion.

Pretty versatile little Leprechuans....

I'd have mentioned it earlier, but I was laughing so hard my tears flooded the keyboard....

 

[cybercop106]

I did put that out to the people in Scotland, but no answer. Oh well!

I certainly hope that you are kidding and not! Arrogant! enough, to think that the "Scots" could care about or to act on, any suggestions from you ?!

My Da's family is from Scotland originally. The Hardmans, Clan Buchan, from the West Dunbartonshire area near Loch Lomond. They've historically seen many a wee folk scamperin aboot.............and Nessie frolickin off the shores............mostly when we drank too much.
But in all fairness, there are caves and underground waterway passages in Loch Ness where she could hide from the interlopers. Don't write the old girl off, she may turn up yet.

 

[carajou]

Has nothing to do with arrogance on anyone's part concerning Nessie. Picture this:

The 1932 Hugh Gray photo is actually a blurred photo of a retriever fetching a stick.
The 1934 "Surgeon's Photo" turned out to be a toy dinosaur neck mounted on a toy submarine.
The "gargoyle head" image was actually a log.
The Tim Dinsdale 1960 film was a bird swimming.
There are too many waves which look like an undulating beast.

Loch Ness is a near-completely land-locked lake, with the largest proven animal the Atlantic char (a type of salmon). I think it's high time that the term "put-up or shut-up" applied. Either it's there, or it isn't there. A good drift net that would allow the char to swim through the mesh would work in catching Nessie, which would be then filmed, weighed, studied, whatever it is that scientists would do...before they tagged it and painted a number on it's butt! I'm sure there are a lot of Scotsmen that want to know. As a decendent of Scotsman, I want to know.

Yes, I did make that request of several Loch Ness-related websites who are into serious research. No answers, but understandably there's this mystery with Loch Ness that they want to keep.

 

[cybercop106]

As far as Loch Ness goes, visibility is limited to just a few inches beause of soil (peat) contamination of the water, so the 750+ depths of the 24mi long by 1mi wide lake are hard to search. Infra-red is effective only for 12-15'. The temperature evidence indicates underwater passages to the North Sea and associated caverns where any number of Nessies could hide.
I'm not saying there is one, I'm just saying it hasn't been disproven, despite the BBC venture of July 2003 where they used 600 separate sonar beams and satellite navigation technology to search the ENTIRE loch. The team surveyed the waters said to hide Scotland's legendary tourist attraction but found no trace of the monster.
BTW, Scotland has a law protecting Nessie, in 1912 the Protection of Animals Act was established to protect the almost 50 million a year tourism industry icon.

.

 

[Badger Bart]

CHINA NESSIE

I was able to copy the pic, but not the text, both which you wil find here...

http://farshores.org/c05mon10.htm