Bigfoot redeux
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  1. #1
    us
    Jan 2005
    Murfreesboro, TN
    55
    28 times

    Bigfoot redeux

    Seems to me that people are always in the mood to declare others to be law breakers when there are no laws to be broken. So, while certain people are a little up-in-arms about my proposed shooting of an officially-declared-to-be-a-mythological animal, otherwise known as Bigfoot, I'm going to go out on a limb and propose the following be done a'fore any new laws magically appear on the books by those who cannot wait for their legislature to do the same for real:

    We need an expedition to Scotland, with one of those diabolical drift nets, for the purpose of capturing that pesky monster Nessie. I betcha there's a fortune to be made (just once!) for either the exhibit of such an animal at Sea World (with Shamu), or several tons worth of high-protien steaks. If Scotland's too expensive, there's that Pogo thing up in British Columbia, Champ in Lake Champlain, or any number of other lake monsters across the continent. If killing or displaying it is out of the question, then I'm for tagging an ear, putting a transmitter around it's neck, and painting a number on its butt.

    We need an expedition to the Congo, deepinhearta darkest Africa. You see, scientists world-wide are laughing there heads off at reports of a dinosaur swimming about the lakes there, and we need to drop a carcass at their front door. If killing it or making it do tricks with a ball is out of the question, then I'm for tagging an ear, placing a transmitter around it's neck, and painting a big number on its butt.

    We need an expedition to Puerto Rico. There's this chupacabra-thingy roaming around, grabbing goats and draining their blood. But we do have to be careful about setting humain traps and using rock salt in the shotguns, just in case these chupacabras are a bunch of kids in Gothic-drag on the farms, listening to Pink Floyd or Black Sabbath or similar rotgut like that there. If such kids are captured, can we tag them, place transmitters on their necks, and paint numbers on their butts?

    We need an expedition to go deepinahearta Texas. We've got to film a wild jackalope in it's native habitat, which could very well mean undercover work at one of the local strip joints in central Fort Worth.

    Capturing any of these denizens of the fantasticorical imagination will be worth a fortune (which is what treasure hunters seek anyway), and it would bring lots of "see-I-told-you-so's" to the critics. Only ceereeus intrepid adventurers need aply. And who knows...there could be the occasional gold nugget to be found nearby!

  2. #2

    Dec 2003
    Western Schuylkill County
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    Re: Bigfoot redeux

    You Forgot the JERSEY DEVIL ?

    altho ;

    Quote Originally Posted by carajou

    ? ? We need an expedition to go deepinahearta Texas.? We've got to film a wild jackalope in it's native habitat, which could very well mean undercover work at one of the local strip joints in central Fort Worth.?
    SOUNDS GOOD.

    I'll Volunteer for the UnderCover Work

    They Play? Pink Floyd or Black Sabbath There too, Don't They ?

    Jeff

  3. #3
    us
    Jan 2005
    Murfreesboro, TN
    55
    28 times

    Re: Bigfoot redeux

    I'd go for the Jersey Devi tool, but about forty years ago some nature show host and his sidekick were in a helocopter south of Trenton, and spotted the thing on a stump playing a fiddle with some poor dude from Georgia. Well, since the host was on a time limit from their insurance company out west (Omaha, I think), they pulled out a high-powered rifle, loaded an elephant dart, and fired into it's rump. It proved too much for the Jersey Devil to swallow, so it expired.

    Sometimes you can see it on old reruns of Wild Kingdom. It's in the corner of the room where that Perkins guy is pointing out the location of a prime waterhole in Africa, before he cuts away to pitch a new premium for retired folk.


    As to the jackalope, better be careful. He's the jealous type, and he could ram his antlers into your privates while you're "undercover" with his girlfriend.



  4. #4
    Capt. Buzzkill

    Re: Bigfoot redeux


    Kick ass Carajou....with that list you need to get started...yesterday.

    Check out Tom Biscardi.....Mr. Bigfoot

    http://www.greatamericanbigfoot.com/

    He always needs help on these expeditions...

    As far as Nessie....that species is believed to live in nests and caves underwater in the Loch and other places.


    CB 8)

  5. #5
    us
    Jan 2005
    Murfreesboro, TN
    55
    28 times

    Re: Bigfoot redeux

    Thing about animals is the fact that if they're alive, they can be caught.

    Most recently, it was the giant squid, caught alive on camera somewhere south of Japan last year. Until then, it was always a dead one washed ashore somewhere that scientists could study.

    The joke about Loch Ness is that there is no monster there. Nothing. Since 1932, there have been major expeditions; a few big game hunters, divers, National Geographic, a huge sonar survey in 1988, and thousands upon thousands of tourists...yet not once did anyone bring the net. A good drift net or purse-seine (tuna) net could very easily haul it up. And Loch Ness is pretty confined, as comparred to the real estate Bigfoot is walking over.

    I did put that out to the people in Scotland, but no answer. Oh well!


  6. #6
    us
    Jan 2005
    Murfreesboro, TN
    55
    28 times

    Re: Bigfoot redeux

    I've been to that "greatamericanbigfoot" site you mentioned, and there was this link:

    http://www.greatamericanbigfoot.com/...d=55&Itemid=43

    It's the news section, and it has to do with the very old, very tired, worn-out cliche that a bigfoot was captured, it was receiving medical treatment, and they'll have video soon.

    Take a wild guess as to what will never happen...


  7. #7
    JT
    JT is offline

    Mar 2005
    Goose Creek, South Carolina
    187
    33 times

    Re: Bigfoot redeux

    Oh, my, this is really good. A motel in Silicon Valley as "The official bigfoot training center''. Bigfoot is alive, captured, receiving medical treatment at an undisclosed location, then is kidnapped by one of the medical team?

    Wait a minute.... let me think about that description...eight foot tall, hairy, smelly..... sounds like my mother-in-law.... and she's missing!!! Somebody, quick, call the law!!

    You read garbage like what's on that website, and you REALLY wonder why people like that are labelled as kooks. Osama Bin Laden has been bunked up in a cave for four years, and there have been more confirmed sightings of him since then than there have been of Bigfoot in the last fifty years. There's more evidence of the Ivory billed woodpecker's existence than Bigfoot.

    If there was a Bigfoot out there, someone would have shot one by now. Oh, that's right, some "mysterious force" overtakes you when you're heavily armed, and you see an Eight foot tall creature flinging 500 pound boulders at you like a Nolan Ryan fastball. This "force" leaves you unable to pull the trigger.....excuse me, I'm laughing so hard, I can barely type...

    Sounds like the "force" is chemically induced... alcohol, wacky tobakky, or maybe some of these witnesses have just been in the woods a tad too long.

    What's even funnier is that some of you are actually arguing that killing a bigfoot could be against the law, when there is no more evidence supporting it's existence than the tooth fairy or Santa Clause.

    At least the Great Pumpkin exists....I saw him on the Charlie Brown cartoon.

    Please, somebody... find Nessie, Ogopogo, the Congo dinosaur, Bigfoot, A skunk ape, a thunderbird, the Blair witch, a jackalope, a Keebler elf, or one of many hundreds of other mythical creatures. When you find it... shoot it, and bring the carcass in. That's how you prove it exists.

    By the way, I heard jackalope tastes like chicken...

  8. #8
    us
    Jan 2005
    Murfreesboro, TN
    55
    28 times

    Re: Bigfoot redeux

    I never argued that killing a bigfoot would be against the law; only that killing one would violate no laws. It's the other clowns who insist, get this...that I'm pretending to be a lawyer when I stated this little fact! Soooooo...are they pretneding to be lawyers themselves when they're quoting laws and telling me I've broken them? Film at eleven!

    The more I looked at this "greatamericanbigfoot" site, the more I didn't like it. Too much of "here's-what-we're-gonna-do". The pics of bigfoot taking a bath, charging, standing, look faked. By "faked" I mean it's always silhouetted; always out of focus. They are always so close, yet they're always too far. They need more time, more money to do the job. These people collected massive amounts of money to research bigfoot, they planned for months to do it right, they went into the woods to make the hunt, yet they cannot even think to have brought in a better camera? Blurry shots is all they could bring back? It's a joke!

    We'll have to kill ourselves a good-sized jackalope and fricassee it in olive oil.

  9. #9
    us
    Sgt Jim ................................... "Prince of Pennies"

    Sep 2005
    Chillin' in the Panhandle (Leon County)
    Tesoro Cortes; Garrett GTAx 1000, Bounty Hunter Tracker 2D/707 and a pair of Tracker II models
    632
    12 times
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    Re: Bigfoot redeux

    I prefer my Jackalope crock-potted with barbeque sauce.................................yep, them's good eatin'................
    and maybe a side order of Texas Chupacabra http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/f...iewthread/146/
    Attached Images Attached Images  
    We are slaves of the law so that we might be free. -Cicero



    THE LAST PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION WAS NOT A CURE FOR AMERICA'S PROBLEMS, IT WAS A SYMPTOM OF THE DISEASE!!!!

  10. #10
    us
    Sgt Jim ................................... "Prince of Pennies"

    Sep 2005
    Chillin' in the Panhandle (Leon County)
    Tesoro Cortes; Garrett GTAx 1000, Bounty Hunter Tracker 2D/707 and a pair of Tracker II models
    632
    12 times
    All Types Of Treasure Hunting

    Re: Bigfoot redeux

    No actually, Missouri is semi-famous for it's own version of Bigfoot......MOMO the Show-Me Sasquatch
    http://missourifolkloresociety.truman.edu/momo.html

    A fairly recent 'claimed' sighting was outside my hometown by a guy I went to high school with
    http://www.ghosthaunting.com/html/momo_sightings.html
    I grew up in Bourbon, MO and back in about '77, while camping out and exploring around a quarry my friend and I were followed (at a distance and unseen) around the woods outside Leasburg MO by something light brown and hairy. I caught a fleeting glimpse of it through the scope on my .22 rifle. The face kind of reminded me of a dog, but it would have had to be a big one standing on it's hind legs because where I saw it was 6' off the ground.
    Can't say it was MOMO, but it definitely made that 17 year old's butt pucker up...............

    Anyway, here's some good reading....................

    http://www.bigfootencounters.com/creatures/momo.htm
    http://www.stateofhorror.com/momo.html

    P.S. Did you ever know a cop who didn't give legal advice?!? "Well, if I was you............."
    We are slaves of the law so that we might be free. -Cicero



    THE LAST PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION WAS NOT A CURE FOR AMERICA'S PROBLEMS, IT WAS A SYMPTOM OF THE DISEASE!!!!

  11. #11

    Dec 2003
    Western Schuylkill County
    MINELAB EXPLORER SE PRO ....... Garrett Pro Pointer…… Sovereign XS-2 Pro
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    Re: Bigfoot redeux

    Their Saying THIS is Chupacabra ?

    It Looks Like a DOG I saw running around over in the Valley 2 - 3 years ago.

    MY vote is coyote
    Attached Images Attached Images  

  12. #12
    us
    Sgt Jim ................................... "Prince of Pennies"

    Sep 2005
    Chillin' in the Panhandle (Leon County)
    Tesoro Cortes; Garrett GTAx 1000, Bounty Hunter Tracker 2D/707 and a pair of Tracker II models
    632
    12 times
    All Types Of Treasure Hunting

    Re: Bigfoot redeux

    Don't know what it is Jeff, but don't it look tasty...............................
    or maybe that's "mangy"?
    We are slaves of the law so that we might be free. -Cicero



    THE LAST PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION WAS NOT A CURE FOR AMERICA'S PROBLEMS, IT WAS A SYMPTOM OF THE DISEASE!!!!

  13. #13
    us
    Jan 2005
    Murfreesboro, TN
    55
    28 times

    Re: Bigfoot redeux

    Just a reminder for all the bigfoot believers out there...

    I believe in bigfoot too. And if and when I catch one, the hard decision will be what color of paint will I spray the number on its butt with. But I don't like charlatans who say they've got one when they don't; fakers who parade about in monkey suits while their friends pretend to film them; or hucksters who say they're going out on major expeditions without proper planning or worse. That was what that "greatamericanbigfoot" website was all about.

    We'd all be better off with someone a bit more professional.

    Did the coyote/chupa/dogie taste good? Looks like the hair was taken off, and it's ready for the deep fryer!

  14. #14

    Oct 2005
    I cover Arizona
    6
    1 times

    Re: Bigfoot redeux

    Quote Originally Posted by carajou

    I did put that out to the people in Scotland, but no answer.? Oh well!
    I certainly hope that you are kidding and not! Arrogant! enough, to think that the "Scots" could care about or to act on, any suggestions from you ?!

  15. #15
    JT
    JT is offline

    Mar 2005
    Goose Creek, South Carolina
    187
    33 times

    Re: Bigfoot redeux

    Carajou, you need to check out the thread on the "Waterstone" treasure. Instead of eight foot tall, hairy beasts, some people on that thread swear to the existence of a tiny, magical creature variously referred to as a troll, leprechuan, elf, or just "little people".

    Apparently, this creature is capable of sprinkling fairy dust on you.

    And no, it's not from San Francisco....


 

 
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