A Public Appology to my wife.

[mastereagle22]

Ok so why am I posting this on the forum?

Because my wife feels that I have made her out to be the "bad guy" in one too many posts here on the forum. And because I think it is the right thing to do.

It is all too easy to dismiss other people's feelings when you are focused on your own. When your needs and wants over rule even the most basic common sense taught to you from when you were a young child.

I have an addiction and it is detecting. I find myself out hunting for the next "good" target, pushing myself for just three more signals hoping that the next one will be made of some precious metal, or be rare and be worth something to me and others. Why? I guess self-esteem is one reason. A desire to be liked and looked upon as a "good detectorist" here on the forum. Competition with my buddy I hunt with. It is the recognition of someone saying, "Wow that is a good find, I wish I had found it."

A driving need to find lost items and treasure so that some day I can look back and say wow I have some cool stuff, but not being able to walk away when it is time. Staying those few extra minutes in the hopes of good find that most of the time, never comes.

So for all the times I stayed out too late, all the times I didn't answer the cell phone because I had a good signal, all the times I snuck out a few extra hours in the week to hunt, I want to say I am sorry to you. Raising kids and running a house is hard work and you do an awesome job of it! I don't say thank you enough.

All I can say in closing is that I am truly sorry for anything mean I have done or said over the last two years when discussing detecting and the time I spend on the hobby. I will try harder in the future but remember I am only a little boy inside and a grown up on the outside and not perfect in any way.

This post will not erase any of the slights you feel you may have suffered from my posts here on the forum but at least you know that I care about your feelings, care about the fact that you don't like the way I have portrayed you, and that you feel you have been treated unfairly.

And about Saturday night, I should have stopped detecting and come home. That was REALLY stupid of me!!!! I feel very bad about it and wish I had a do-over on that one. A Saturday without the kids is a rarity. Any night without the kids when we could spend time together is even more rare! I am an idiot!

I am sorry, and I love you.

Larry

 

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[txkickergirl]

that was just so sweet and heartfelt
sorry you got yourself in the dog house..notice I said you got yourself but I hope this is a start to getting yourself out of it.

I have a feeling you have some major work to do before you get out completely. It probably entails a long list of "honey do's" a longer list of compliments and wife appreciation time and a bit more groveling. At least thats what I make my hubby do after that I take myself on a nice little shopping spree for(ususally more metal detecting stuff) then all is right in the world for me again.

Good luck and I gotta to give you KUDO'S for posting this on TN because I know you are going to get ragged about it.

 

[bootybay]

Larry,
I commend you for posting this.. that was very nice.

 

[Mental Granny]

This is a very noble thing to do and the best part is it IS the RIGHT THING !

 

[Old Dog]

Larry,

If you have a Sam's club close think about going in and getting the bundle of 20 roses.
Tell her "no reason".
do this for the next six months or even longer.

I have been doing something similar for the last 15 years.

It seems funny for a while, and the cashiers sometimes give me grief, LOL
but in the end it more than pays off. after a while the cashiers who know you will come to your defense.
when someone says "Somebody is in trouble," all you have to say is "Nope ... this is maintenance."

Thom

 

[Mental Granny]

Good advice I think I am goin to have Jeff read this Good "How to " for a marraige.

 

[Gypsy Heart]

I think it was great that you apologized to your wife, but I don't think that any of us here at Tent ever thought that you were "making your wife out to be the bad guy'. Those of us who are bitten with the detecting fever all know that others and sometimes even spouses do not understand our drive and passion....it doesn't make them 'bad''....just as I cant understand women who actually like to shop all day....Anyone who has a passion for a hobby can get carried away sometimes...I know when I am doing historical research I can tune everything and everybody out and get lost for hours .....I don't mean too...its just that I am so intent on what I am doing,the entire world goes away.
My sisters can spend all day looking for the perfect pair of shoes and not buy anything....I think that's crazy....just as they think I am crazy for hiking into the woods and digging in dirt all day and bringing home a bunch of rusty junk.....

We all know you love your wife ...you have let that be known many times also.
I hope you and she both are able to spend time together enjoying things you Both like ,as well as persuing your own interests.

 

[mastereagle22]

Gypsy

She took offense to being called the "warden" She also took offense when I would post things like digging a tunnel to escape etc. She felt it made her look bad to others on the forum here.

Truth is I should have been more sensitive to her feelings and not continued when she told me it bothered her. That is why I posted this. Also I wanted her to know that I was putting it out there for everyone here on the forum to read and not just telling her in private.

Seemed like a good idea at the time. Still glad I did it.

 

[aa battery]

Gypsy

She took offense to being called the "warden" She also took offense when I would post things like digging a tunnel to escape etc. She felt it made her look bad to others on the forum here.

Truth is I should have been more sensitive to her feelings and not continued when she told me it bothered her. That is why I posted this. Also I wanted her to know that I was putting it out there for everyone here on the forum to read and not just telling her in private.

Seemed like a good idea at the time. Still glad I did it.

can i jump in here? In my case the word Warden is a term of endearment nothing bad just a nickname. As far as quality time with the family you recognized the problem and you are correcting it. Your ok in my book

 

[mastereagle22]

aa

I have many nicknames for my wife:

The accounting department, the war department, the warden, all meant in the best possible way.

I would be lost financially if I had to keep track of everything the way she does. I am really blessed if I could just get her to realize that detecting is not a threat and is a healthy way to spend time, not out drinking and fighting and chasing wild women. Things would be great.

of course the one night a week I do go out I guess I need to get back before 11:00 PM.

 

[warsawdaddy]

Well said,Larry.Now go eat your gruel!

 

[La Beep]

Scary, I am reading this and saying "WHY" Then it hit me a maybe just a little too insensitive also, and a little lucky too. Let me explain. The guys are not going to believe it but I going to put it out there. I have a wife that will allow me to enjoy all my hobbies with out restrictions I will say it again without restrictions. As she does with hers. One major point I will interject here. We have no kids. My wife often draws a line when it comes to "picking on her" in public. I is in her mindr more about what others would think, this is where the insensitive part comes in as I will still pick on her in public and get hammered from it all the time. Pushing my luck. Sure. God Bless that woman.

 

[Mental Granny]

You may have nicknames for your wife and such but everyone of the Rowdy Bunch and the Lalas know that no matter what your wife is your first and main love she is a lucky woman to only have to worry about detecting you would never from what we have seen in you no womannizing or gettin drunk and you have said before how lucky you are to have her soooo let her know we do not have a bad opinon of her and would LOVE to meet her after all she is your wife (you should explain the a$$ to her berfore hand )

 

[Cynangyl]

wow...never occured to me she looked bad in any of the posts either....guess I just assumed everyone knew how much you adored her like I did and that it was in fun.....if we took things seriously as far as your posts about escaping we would most certainly be calling in the troops to get rid of that psycho hunting partner of yours too! Okay...maybe we DO need to send in troops for that one! lol My point is that we knew it took nothing away from how you feel about her in your heart anymore than we think you despise that jerk you hunt with that steals all the good finds! Give her huge hugs and tell her I am feeling bad for joking about it since it must have bothered her but also that none of us, you included meant any harm either. SORRY MRS ME22!!!

 

[La Beep]

quaint little Italian Restaurant & give me a call ~ Nick

ME sorry for the HiJack..... But it Nick's fault.

Nick do you know where I can find one that does the fried stuffed olives as anti-pasta? Boy do I miss them.

 

[G.I.B.]

Hummmm.... looks like an interesting intro to some make-up-sex.

Mind if I copy your letter?

 

[nudels]

Thank you for posting this. In reading this it reminds me that the greatest treasures are indeed at home.

 

[Gypsy Heart]

I would like to add that if any of us ladies had thought you were seriously bad mouthing your wife there would have been heck to pay because all of the LaLa Sisters would have kicked your bottom royally.....

 

[Cynangyl]

lol You said it Gypsy!!

 

[Mental Granny]

Gypsy said it for us all!