What do you think about therapy/counseling (inspired from the AA post)

[claypile]

just wondering. will you/have you done to counseling individually, with your spouse, as a family or in a group? what type of therapy was that and did it help?

 

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[SofiaCally]

I have not tried any counseling yet. However, I only have read some good benefits to an individual's views about problems and issues of life.

 

[Charlene Ditzler]

just wondering. will you/have you done to counseling individually, with your spouse, as a family or in a group? what type of therapy was that and did it help?

My husband and I did a bit of online couple counseling and it helps us to understand each other more. It even strengthens our relationship.

 

[claypile]

My husband and I did a bit of online couple counseling and it helps us to understand each other more. It even strengthens our relationship.

That's great to know, Charlene. I was asking because me and my spouse are going through a rough patch ATM, but splitting up is the last option, so we're thinking of getting online couples counseling. Do you think ReGain is a good place for that?

 

[OreCart]

My wife and I do DivorceCare so we are councilors of sorts, but more of working with people dealing with the pain of divorce. Obviously we teach it because we have been through it.

My suggestion is to find a good church, BUT probably not seek the counseling of the Pastor there. Pastor's make HORRIBLE councilors in my opinion because they see everything as black and white, and have a hard time relating to people in our vastly different circumstances. The Deacons or Elders of the church often make great councilors or know of ones to go to.

Myself, I have used two different councilors because of some hard knocks lately;

Getting cancer
Being unable to farm anymore
Having a logger steal wood off my woodlot
Selling off my farm equipment
Selling my flock of sheep
Losing a child

It was a tough year. But one councilor just wanted to pass everything off as being no big deal, as that is how they deal with people. They try to minimize the problem so that it does not seem so big, but sometimes problems are big. The other councilor; we just reached an impasse because she is obligated by law to report certain conversations, and I was not going to say anything for fear of being reported. With gun restrictions being rampant now, and being a farmer who is required to own and possess guns in order to farm, I just could not have that. So it was quite a few minutes of just staring at one another. That was kind of silly.

My suggestion is to find a good church, then quietly confide in a few trustworthy people that you are struggling a bit. I am sure you will get some sound advice.

I will be sure to pray for you as well. Best wishes during this rough patch.

 

[Tpmetal]

my counseling is going out and digging 1000 holes. I realize that won't help your situation with the wife though....and is probably why I am still single as well lol

 

[DeepseekerADS]

During my divorce years (she met another fellow and they fought dirty) I was court mandated to attend counseling with a shrink.

When I first met him he was very obviously hating me...

A year later he recommended to the court that I take custody of my kids. Just be sincerely honest and forthcoming. Make a beautiful world around you and throw away those hates and frustrations.

 

[Ammoman]

13 years ago my wife and i were on the brink of separating. She had her issues with me and i had mine with her. We went to counseling and by the fourth session we were both ready to throw in the towel. It was at that point that we both agreed that counseling was doing us more harm than good! We worked it out on our own.
What are my thoughts? If you want to dredge up the past and relive crap that was settled long ago then go to counseling.

 

[BC1969]

Ugh. My wife and I had a really rough patch once too.
We tried counseling too.
What we found was difficult in hindsight was each counselor wasn't exactly neutral, in that their own gender would play into what was said.
If a male counselor, he would sway towards myself and when we tried a female counselor, she was almost outright hateful towards me.
We worked it out with our church pastor.
I just realized that this post is a lil older.
I hope and pray that everyone on this thread has found peace within their lives and relationships.

Mike.

 

[A2coins]

Look forward not backwards depends which way your facing if you want to go forward The srenity prayer is so spot on

 

[crashbandicoot]

just my opinion for me and only me.Stay out of my mind,don,t want you messing around in there.I,ve managed to figure out how to stay sane or reasonably so on my own.Still married to the same woman and only woman after 46 years.No diss meant to any one else you understand,but not for me.

 

[relicmeister]

Did a lot during my mixed up youth, and again after my divorce. Then I realized I was only going in order to seek validate for my mistaken thoughts. Not interested in counseling anymore. Only seek counsel with my savior Jesus. Grateful to have a wife now that I can share all my concerns with and she has same in me.

 

[TaylorBlake]

I would do it on my own, never with my family or wife though. I can open up, only if I'm talking to a stranger

 

[bowser]

when they ask how do you feel while doodling with a pencil on a notepad i say i feel like apunch inthe nose is in order they get money for nothin and there on thier 2nd divorce

 

[Tommybuckets]

My last relationship it may have helped. She's passed away now ( not my doing) . This time I found the best person I could have found. I told her at the start of the relationship I would treat her as well as she treats me and I'd start by treating her better than I treat myself. We both have had a tough go of things. To this day we dote on each other and I've never been in such a loving supportive relationship. Every time I go out to detect I tell her I'll find some treasure for her and if its a nice day she'll come swing with me, bring a book and a blanket and picnic and we make a date of it. Granted we are only finishing year three but we still have not raised our voices at each other or had any animosity or fighting whatsoever. I couldn't be happier with a partner. It just took many attempts and we both concede that time has tempered our expectations.