The Beep Goes On
Silver Member
- Jan 11, 2006
- 3,403
- 207
- Detector(s) used
- CTX3030, Excalibur II, V3i, TRX
- Primary Interest:
- Metal Detecting
I'm from Wyoming (Jackson) so this was particularly funny...
Casper Barbie...
Anorexically skinny, as superficial and shallow as a paper plate, and her main interests are "drinking," "partying," and "having fun." Although her IQ is an average of 100, thinks she is a genius. Also comes with your choice of three STDs: gonnorhea, HPV, or chlamydia...
Jackson Barbie:
This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with a Mercedes 4WD SUV, a Prada handbag, and matching Nike Yoga ensemble. She has a masters degree and double-majored, but has the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom with Ken's generous salary. Comes with Percocet prescription and Botox. Starbucks mug and traffic-jamming Blackberry internet/cell phone device sold separately. Husband Ken is into fishing, golfing, baseball, and is often "working late." Available at all Seattle-area Starbucks retailers.
Teton Village Barbie:
This princess Barbie is only sold at Nordstrom. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, your choice of a BMW convertible or Hummer H2, and a long-haired foreign lapdog named "Honey." Also available is her cookie-cutter development dream house. Available with or without tummy tuck, facelift, and breast augmentation. Workaholic, cheating husband, Ken, comes with a Porsche.
Riverton Barbie:
Comes with a black eye and two missing teeth, two snot nosed illigetemate children, a "buy five abortions get one free" coupon, a Mini mart uniform, $250 a month in foodstamps, and a $200 Wellfare check. "Shut her up ken" comes with a six pack of Keystone, an unemplyment check. Paternity tests are sold seperately!
Rock Springs Barbie:
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, switchblade, '78 El Camino with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit. This model is available only after dark and can only be purchased with cash?preferably small bills, unless you're a cop, then we don't know what you're talking about. Boyfriend Ken is in jail. Available at many pawn shops.
Rawlins Barbie:
This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie comes with a pair of high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer Gut Ken out of Cheyenne Barbie's trailer. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip gloss, and a see-through halter top. Purchase her Mustang convertible separately
and get a Confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free. Boyfriend Ken is in treatment. Available at Army Navy Surplus.
Cheyenne Barbie:
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans 2 sizes too small, steel-toed cowboy boots, a classic Metallica 'T' shirt, and a Tweetie Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has fake fingernails, a six pack of Budweiser, and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over a distance of 6 feet, and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Also available is the gold-toned cubic zirconium ring that Ken gave her after another one of his "episodes" with his boss's daughter. Comes with Barbie's Dream Double Wide Trailer. Available at Wal-Mart.
Gillette Barbie:
Pregnant at purchase, this Barbie comes with a stroller and bus pass. Also included is a G.E.D. and a completely filled-out food stamps form. Construction worker Ken and his '82 Caddy are optional. Available at Value Village.
Laramie Barbie:
This Barbie is made out of recycled plastic and tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no make-up, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She does not want, or need, a Ken doll. If you purchase the optional Subaru wagon, you will receive a free rainbow flag sticker. Available at REI.
Lander Barbie:
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or removing snap on parts. Walks to work. Likes to "experiment," but will never commit. This model is being phased out.
Worland Barbie:
This Bronze beauty comes with an assortment of American Eagle polo shirts, color corresponding wallets and the complete series of Laguna Beach along with her very own sugar beet scent. Sold seperatly is her lime green VW bug complete with Fergie CD. A much older Ken comes in a Pepsi shirt, and an 1989 Worland Warriors lettermen jacket. This barbie's favorite phrases include, "oh my god" "like" and "im hot stuff". Available at Pamida and soon, walmart.
Thermopolis Barbie:
This smelly barbie comes in a swimming suite accompanied with a cell phone containing public healths number as number one on her speed dial. She comes with one of her boyfriends trucks containing an empty box of condoms, and is adorned with purple and yellow window markers spelling out "we'll get 'em someday cats". Various ken dolls can be purchased with this barbie. One from Riverton, one from Worland and the population of Shoshoni. This barbie comes with her very own special olympics medal and a bottle of riddelin. Available at Stump Out Post's close-out sale.
Ten Sleep Barbie:
This versatile cowgirl comes with pearlsnaps and patagonia pants. She is slightly bowlegged and comes with a special addition my little pony. Her earings are the numbers 86 after her favorite Nascar driver and she has a big shiny belt for her rodeo accomplisments. This is not so fashionably paired with her North Face Jacket. Ken Comes with a 12 pack of Busch light and a 1964 Ford Pick-up with two bordie collies in the back. Ken is sold separately at the Ten Sleep Dump with the optional winchester shot gun. Ten Sleep Barbie can be purchased at the Pony Express. Discount coupons are available with your purchase of a snowmobile permit and a carton of Marlboro Light 100's
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Casper Barbie...
Anorexically skinny, as superficial and shallow as a paper plate, and her main interests are "drinking," "partying," and "having fun." Although her IQ is an average of 100, thinks she is a genius. Also comes with your choice of three STDs: gonnorhea, HPV, or chlamydia...
Jackson Barbie:
This modern-day homemaker Barbie is available with a Mercedes 4WD SUV, a Prada handbag, and matching Nike Yoga ensemble. She has a masters degree and double-majored, but has the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom with Ken's generous salary. Comes with Percocet prescription and Botox. Starbucks mug and traffic-jamming Blackberry internet/cell phone device sold separately. Husband Ken is into fishing, golfing, baseball, and is often "working late." Available at all Seattle-area Starbucks retailers.
Teton Village Barbie:
This princess Barbie is only sold at Nordstrom. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, your choice of a BMW convertible or Hummer H2, and a long-haired foreign lapdog named "Honey." Also available is her cookie-cutter development dream house. Available with or without tummy tuck, facelift, and breast augmentation. Workaholic, cheating husband, Ken, comes with a Porsche.
Riverton Barbie:
Comes with a black eye and two missing teeth, two snot nosed illigetemate children, a "buy five abortions get one free" coupon, a Mini mart uniform, $250 a month in foodstamps, and a $200 Wellfare check. "Shut her up ken" comes with a six pack of Keystone, an unemplyment check. Paternity tests are sold seperately!
Rock Springs Barbie:
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9mm handgun, switchblade, '78 El Camino with dark tinted windows, and a meth lab kit. This model is available only after dark and can only be purchased with cash?preferably small bills, unless you're a cop, then we don't know what you're talking about. Boyfriend Ken is in jail. Available at many pawn shops.
Rawlins Barbie:
This tobacco chewing, brassy-haired Barbie comes with a pair of high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased Beer Gut Ken out of Cheyenne Barbie's trailer. Her ensemble includes low-rise acid-washed jeans, fake fingernails, strawberry lip gloss, and a see-through halter top. Purchase her Mustang convertible separately
and get a Confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free. Boyfriend Ken is in treatment. Available at Army Navy Surplus.
Cheyenne Barbie:
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler jeans 2 sizes too small, steel-toed cowboy boots, a classic Metallica 'T' shirt, and a Tweetie Bird tattoo on her shoulder. She has fake fingernails, a six pack of Budweiser, and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set. She can spit over a distance of 6 feet, and kick mullet-haired Ken's ass when she is drunk. Also available is the gold-toned cubic zirconium ring that Ken gave her after another one of his "episodes" with his boss's daughter. Comes with Barbie's Dream Double Wide Trailer. Available at Wal-Mart.
Gillette Barbie:
Pregnant at purchase, this Barbie comes with a stroller and bus pass. Also included is a G.E.D. and a completely filled-out food stamps form. Construction worker Ken and his '82 Caddy are optional. Available at Value Village.
Laramie Barbie:
This Barbie is made out of recycled plastic and tofu. She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no make-up, and Birkenstocks with white socks. She does not want, or need, a Ken doll. If you purchase the optional Subaru wagon, you will receive a free rainbow flag sticker. Available at REI.
Lander Barbie:
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or removing snap on parts. Walks to work. Likes to "experiment," but will never commit. This model is being phased out.
Worland Barbie:
This Bronze beauty comes with an assortment of American Eagle polo shirts, color corresponding wallets and the complete series of Laguna Beach along with her very own sugar beet scent. Sold seperatly is her lime green VW bug complete with Fergie CD. A much older Ken comes in a Pepsi shirt, and an 1989 Worland Warriors lettermen jacket. This barbie's favorite phrases include, "oh my god" "like" and "im hot stuff". Available at Pamida and soon, walmart.
Thermopolis Barbie:
This smelly barbie comes in a swimming suite accompanied with a cell phone containing public healths number as number one on her speed dial. She comes with one of her boyfriends trucks containing an empty box of condoms, and is adorned with purple and yellow window markers spelling out "we'll get 'em someday cats". Various ken dolls can be purchased with this barbie. One from Riverton, one from Worland and the population of Shoshoni. This barbie comes with her very own special olympics medal and a bottle of riddelin. Available at Stump Out Post's close-out sale.
Ten Sleep Barbie:
This versatile cowgirl comes with pearlsnaps and patagonia pants. She is slightly bowlegged and comes with a special addition my little pony. Her earings are the numbers 86 after her favorite Nascar driver and she has a big shiny belt for her rodeo accomplisments. This is not so fashionably paired with her North Face Jacket. Ken Comes with a 12 pack of Busch light and a 1964 Ford Pick-up with two bordie collies in the back. Ken is sold separately at the Ten Sleep Dump with the optional winchester shot gun. Ten Sleep Barbie can be purchased at the Pony Express. Discount coupons are available with your purchase of a snowmobile permit and a carton of Marlboro Light 100's
Helping your favorite cause is as easy as instant messaging. You IM, we give. Learn more.
