Minstrel
Hero Member
BULL MARKET - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake
himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the
wife gets no jewellery, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING - The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the
market keeps crashing.
BROKER - What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR - Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally
between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER - A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION - The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for £40 per share.
WINDOWS - What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @
£240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR - Past year investor who's now locked up in a
nuthouse.
SHARES- Not something selfish individuals buy.
INDUSTRIAL AVERAGE- The private sector's answer to public education
standards so industrialists won't feel bad too.
PROFIT - An archaic word no longer in use
himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET - A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the
wife gets no jewellery, and the husband gets no sex.
VALUE INVESTING - The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the
market keeps crashing.
BROKER - What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR - Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally
between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER - A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION - The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for £40 per share.
WINDOWS - What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @
£240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR - Past year investor who's now locked up in a
nuthouse.
SHARES- Not something selfish individuals buy.
INDUSTRIAL AVERAGE- The private sector's answer to public education
standards so industrialists won't feel bad too.
PROFIT - An archaic word no longer in use
