If you ever testify in court.........

[Marc(NB)]

you might wish you could have been as sharp as this policeman. He was being cross-examined by a defense attorney during a felony trial. The lawyer was trying to undermine the police officer's credibility...



Q: 'Officer -- did you see my client fleeing the scene?'
A: 'No sir. But I subsequently observed a person matching the description of the offender, running several blocks away.'
Q: 'Officer -- who provided this description?'
A: 'The officer who responded to the scene.'
Q: 'A fellow officer provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust our fellow officers?'
A: 'Yes, sir. With my life.'
Q: 'With your life? Let me ask you this then officer. Do you have a room where you change your clothes in preparation for your daily duties?'
A: 'Yes sir, we do!'
Q: 'And do you have a locker in the room?'
A: 'Yes sir, I do..'

Q: 'And do you have a lock on your locker?'
A: 'Yes sir.'
Q: 'Now why is it, officer, if you trust your fellow officers with your life, you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with these same officers?'
A: 'You see, sir -- we share the building with the court complex, and sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.'

The courtroom EXPLODED with laughter, and a prompt recess was called. The officer on the stand has been nominated for this year's 'Best Comeback' line -- and we think he'll win.

 

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[spartacus53]

I'll have to agree there, he should win hands down

I love snappy comeback lines, and used a ton over my lifetime so far. I remember as a kid getting my inspiration from "Mad" magazine, they used to run that segment every few months and I was always in stitches.

 

[ClonedSIM]

I'll have to agree there, he should win hands down

I love snappy comeback lines, and used a ton over my lifetime so far. I remember as a kid getting my inspiration from "Mad" magazine, they used to run that segment every few months and I was always in stitches.

LOL! "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions," right? I loved that section as well.

 

[stefen]

 

[GunFarce]

I'll have to agree there, he should win hands down

I love snappy comeback lines, and used a ton over my lifetime so far. I remember as a kid getting my inspiration from "Mad" magazine, they used to run that segment every few months and I was always in stitches.

LOL! "Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions," right? I loved that section as well.

Anybody remember any:

 

[froggy]

From M A D...

Q: Did you catch that fish?
A: No, I talked him into giving himself up.
A: No, I was sitting here minding my own business when the crazy thing jumped into my pail.
A: No, it's a plastic model to get people like you to start fascinating conversations.


Q: (from a woman just pulled over by a police officer) Did I do something wrong, officer?
A: No, today we're giving tickets out for doing things right.
A: No, I just got tired of lugging around these heavy summonses so I decided to give some of them away.
A: No, I'm giving a ticket to this crazy street because it's going the wrong way.


Q: (from a waiter, to a husband and wife) Table for how many?
A: A hundred and twelve -- we like to change seats every few minutes.
A: One -- my wife will sit on my shoulders.
A: I don't know -- I can't count that high, either.