How the fights started !!!!

[FCCDFEd]

Hope this isn't a repeat.



HOPE THIS BRINGS A SMILE YOUR WAY!


>
> >
> > One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a
> Christmas gift..
> >
> > The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.
> >
> > When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift
> I bought you last year!"
> >
> > And that's how the fight started.....
> >
> > ************************************************************************
> >
> > I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'
> >
> > It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
> >
> > 'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.
> >
> > So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'
> >
> > And that's when the fight started....
> >
> > ************************************************************************
>
> > My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in
> bed. I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'
> >
> > 'No,' she answered.
> >
> > I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'
> >
> > She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'
> >
> > So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'
> >
> > And that's when the fight started....
> >
> > ************************************************************************
>
> > I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
> >
> > Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95. I told her the beer
> would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
> >
> > And that's when the fight started......
> >
> > *********************************************************************
> >
> >
> >
> > I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order
> first..
> >
> > 'I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.'
> >
> > He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'
> >
> > 'Nah, she can order for herself.'
> >
> > And that's when the fight started.....
> >
> > *****************************************************************
> >
> >
> >
> > My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the channels.
> >
> > She asked, 'What's on TV?'
> >
> > I said, 'Dust.'
> >
> > And then the fight started...
> >
> > ======================================================================
> >
> >
> >
> > My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
> >
> > She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in about 3
> seconds.'
> >
> > I bought her a scale.
> >
> > And then the fight started...
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > ====================================================================
> >
> >
> >
> > My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she
> kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby
> table.
> >
> > I asked her , 'Do you know him?'
> >
> > 'Yes,' she sighed, ' He's my old boyfriend....
> >
> > I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years
> ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'
> >
> > 'My God!' I said, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that
> long?'
> >
> > And then the fight started...
> >
> > ===========================================================
> >
> >
> >
> > SAVE THE BEST FOR LAST...
> >
> >
> >
> > THE BROKEN LAWN MOWER
> >
> >
> >
> > When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me
> that
> I should get it fixed.
> >
> > But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck,
> the car, playing golf.
> >
> > Always something more important to me.
> >
> >
> >
> > Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home
> one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a
> tiny pair of sewing scissors.
> >
> > I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house.. I was
> gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.
> >
> > I
> >
> > said, 'When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the
> driveway.'
> >
> >
> >
> > The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp..
> >
> >
> > Life is a gift....that's why it is called the present!

 

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