Ways To Annoy Telemarketers

[Chug And Red]

Ways to annoy telemarketers


Reply to all their questions in song.

As soon as they name the corporation they represent begin barking relentlessly.

Proudly describe what you found in your ear this morning.

Ask them what color underwear they are wearing today.

Interrupt them repeatedly to describe the beauty of your new toaster.

Ask them repeatedly if they believe in antelopes.

Ask them what they think would happen if you put a frog in a blender later tell them they were wrong.

Ask them for their phone number so that you can call them back and chat some more.

Burst into tears when they try to hang up and scream, "Don't leave me!"

Burst into tears, put the phone down and, "Honey, Don't leave me!"

Tell them about the time you got stuck in the doggy door.

When they ask to speak to you spend a long time trying to decide if that really is your name and after you realize it is ask them to remind you of it occasionally.

In the middle of the conversation start humming the Sesame Street theme song, when they try to speak sound surprised and say, "Is someone there?"

Begin snoring.

Answer every question with the phase, "I like eggs."

Say "Don't you hate it when you get your tongue stuck in a door?"

Start reading them some of your poetry. Then ask if they'd like to buy a book of it.

Suggest that the two of you get together sometime and go bowling.

Ask them what they would do if there was a dead body on the floor of their living room.

Discuss what a wonderful world it would be if we were all born with tails.

Whenever they try to get a word in babble on about how young people these days talk way too much, and don't respect their elders. (Works best if they are clearly older than you.)

If they say you won something, just say "Thank you, I'm in a hurry right now and cant talk so just send the check"

Tell them to hold on a second, set down the phone and sing loudly.

Ask them if they will get you a birthday present.

Hand the phone to the youngest member of the house - preferably under five. If no such person is available, give the phone to a pet.

Red

 

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[Chug And Red]

It was Easy to Get rid Of them Years ago, When they First Started Using Automated Machine to call You All You Had to do Was Press Either the Star Or Pound Key Over and Over And It Would Cause Their System to Crash!!! Sereral time I Had Them Calling Back Some time On Different Line To Ask What I did!!! They Got A Few Choise Words Nothing Else!!! Guess they Figured It Out Dosnt Work Any more Chug

 

[old digger]

I usually reply; (our local sherriff's dept.) or (IRS) and they usually hang up.

 

[Chug And Red]

I usually reply; (our local sherriff's dept.) or (IRS) and they usually hang up.

I had a guy call one time that tried to do his little thing, I said I was too busy to talk, and could I have his number for later, and he gave it to me, LOL

 

[old digger]

I have tried that also (ask for their number) and they immediatlly hang up.

 

[spartacus53]

You think they would call me .... I don't think so

 

[Chug And Red]

I have tried that also (ask for their number) and they immediatlly hang up.

One time they called and I couldn't get a word in, all of the sudden I screamed "OMG my husband dropped the baby!" the telemarketer freaked out and appologized for calling us!

 

[Chug And Red]

You think they would call me .... I don't think so

Word probably got out after that last one called you! JK! Red

 

[old digger]

You are absolutely right, some times you cannot get a word in edge-wise.

 

[James/Ouida]

My best one was when I started talking about the weather....how bad it was, how much it rains, how much it snows, comparing that to last year, compared to when my father was growing up, which led to my thoughts on global warming, turning into how we have holes in our ozone, how the president is handling the melting of the polar caps, how the president isn't handling Americas financial situation, how we are in debt with china, speaking of China, have you ever been there, I'd like to see the great wall, blah, blah, blah. Near the end, he wasn't even trying to get a word in edgewise, he told me that he had to go, his shift was over tem minutes ago...HA!

 

[jeff of pa]

I'm still waiting for a Young sounding Woman on the other End.
I'm going to treat her Like I'm on an Xrated Call with her.
ask her to do things for & to me while Breathing heavy.

What's she gonna do ? Report Me ?

I'm on a No call list.

Tempted to answer "Federal Investigations"

Or disguise my voice while their talking hold the phone away & say
"keep em talking, 30 more Seconds, we'll have them"

 

[nsdq]

It was Easy to Get rid Of them Years ago, When they First Started Using Automated Machine to call You All You Had to do Was Press Either the Star Or Pound Key Over and Over And It Would Cause Their System to Crash!!! Sereral time I Had Them Calling Back Some time On Different Line To Ask What I did!!! They Got A Few Choise Words Nothing Else!!! Guess they Figured It Out Dosnt Work Any more Chug

i just say hello pizzia hut dine in or delivery please hold , works every time

 

[boris]

repeat the phrase "He has Issues"

 

[stefen]

Start an orgasmic moan and ask if he'd hold on till you finished...

 

[Rich in Texas]

Get the R. Lee Ermey soundboard software. I set the phone to speaker and answer every question with him screaming as a Marine Corps Drill Instructor (full metal jacket). Check it out, you'll know what I'm talking about.

 

[Chadeaux]

I never get called at home, but at work . . . all day long.

A foreigner called one day and the boss answered. I wish I could have heard the other end of the conversation but it went something like this:

"No, I don't need to borrow any money. Truth is we have too much money and I was hoping you would borrow some from me."

"I wouldn't have anywhere to put it. We have too much money already. Please let me loan you some of it. It's just laying around here making a mess. Let me loan YOU some money . . ."

Unfortunately, he passed away last June. So, now when someone calls to speak to Don we make sure it isn't a customer or one of our vendors, they we offer to go get him and put them on hold. If they stay on hold too long, we'll usually ask them if we can borrow a shovel because the cemetery said we couldn't use the backhoe today.

 

[greydigger]

I have been getting a phone call every working day that has no reply.
I started saying "hello" but no responce.
Then I tried different languages.
Farsi, Japanese, French, etc.
I think it might be looking for a FAX machine but not sure how to stop it.
I can hook up a FAX machine but that would only encourage it and cost money.
Any suggestions?

Grey

 

[paratrooper]

Telemarketer Calls Murder Scene Sound Clip and Quote

THIS is how you get back at them.

 

[ivan salis]

my favorite was to keep a small cap pistol near the phone -- if it was a guy --I'd go -- quit pretending ( jim) I know its you , you and her been messing around behind my back for years but I've had it -- if shes not going to be mine shes going to be nobodys -- fire cap pistol 3 times and hang up -- if its female go i know its you ( jane) and that you and her have been gay lovers for years behind my back but if shes not going to be mine shes going to be no ones --cap pistol --bang ,bang, bang -- yep --- a barrel of laughs .

 

[ivan salis]

my favorite was to keep a small cap pistol near the phone -- if it was a guy --I'd go -- quit pretending I know its you , you and her been messing around behind my back for years but I've had it -- if shes not going to be mine shes going to be nobodys -- fire cap pistol 3 times and hang up -- if its female go i know you and her have been gay lovers for years now but if shes not going to be mine shes going to be no ones --cap pistol --bang ,bang, bang -- yep -a barrel of laughs .