old sayings please add yours

[DigginThePast]

"Unga bunga tanga wunga"

 

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[Tubecity]

C'mon barkeep, where's that beer, I'm fartin' dust over here .

 

[kawalabear]

its better to keep your mouth shut and let them think your stupid, than open your mouth and remove all dought.

my son was told by a friend of his dads,, you know how you dad got born ? your grandfather spit in a flower pot and out came a bloomin' idiot.

for teenagers : one day older and ten days dumber.

i use this one alot : you must of bumped your head ?

gonna learn you sommin' yet .

 

[DigginThePast]

my son was told by a friend of his dads,, you know how you dad got born ? your grandfather spit in a flower pot and out came a bloomin' idiot.

LOL. Love this one!

 

[texan connection]

"softer than a kitten fresh out of the dryer"

 

[Russ in Ohio]

My Grandmother, who was rather cranky, used to say "Idiots and children should never see unfinished work". I use this one alot!

 

[truckinbutch]

Cranky as a stepped on baby .

"Boy , that's a door you just came through , not a horse's azz . It doesn't close itself ."

 

[thrillathahunt]

I used to work for my uncle in the summer when I was a teenager. Here's some of his "words of wisdom" that I will never forget.

Boy, if you don't behave I'm gonna swat you like a fly!

You gotta use your head for something other than a hatrack.

Can't never could do nothin'.

Your about as useful as a cow with a crutch.

 

[extractor]

My papa used to always say, "Procrastination is the thief of time"

My dad would always tell me that it was cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey.

My grandmother used to warn us when we were little girls that if we slept with dogs we would get fleas.

We havent ever got fleas. but we sure get woken up a lot!

 

[Chico Rico]

"In time of war every man seeks shelter."

"all the cats are black at night."

 

[Unicorn]

There's nowt so queer as folk.

Get up that wooden hill........(meaning stairs.)

 

[poorhunter78]

Boy, you bout as bright as a burnt out lightbulb.

 

[truckinbutch]

He squalled like a mashed cat .

Sir/Madam , when they taught you to print your name it is obvious that you had been educated beyond your intelligence .

 

[AU24K]

My Dad once told me, "Boy, there's some people in this world that's real fast. Then there's people who aren't as fast. You, you're in the middle; you're half-fast.

Scott

 

[MDRON]

He's so crooked, when he dies they'll have to screw him into the ground

 

[simonds]

I might be dumb, but I'm not stupid

 

[bildon]

you are about as useless as tits on a bore hog bildon

 

[bildon]

another one is been there done that. and when someone tells you something you do not believe you say that dog want hunt. bildon

 

[AU24K]

You have to stand for something or you'll fall for anything.

"If you think that you are gonna get something for nothing, you'll end up gettin' nothin' for somethin'." (Thanks, Mom!)

"Not every shut eye is asleepin'." (Thanks, Gramma!)

"Never get into a relationship with someone who's got more problems than you." (Thanks, Ken!)

When I go camping and it is a bit cool at night, I'll burrow into my sleepin' bag "deepern' a tick on a hound dog."

"That's like tryin' to make chicken soup outta chicken sh*t." (Thanks, ?-?-?)


Scott

 

[sniffer]

well butter my ass and call me a biscuit

if you were moving any slower you'd be going backwards

you need an attitude adjustment boy

you're just ate up with the stupids

do you have to pull down your zipper down to brush your teeth ?

instead of sitting so close to that tv, why don't you sit on top and look over the edge ?

if you can soar at night with the eagles, you can get up and work with the turkeys