Public Service Announcement

[spartacus53]

The following is a Public Service Announcement

In order to avoid jail time on a plethora of charges, I have been given an opportunity by the powers that be to help the everyday Joe get out of unwanted situations. This is a limited time only offer that will help you resolve any grievances, nuisances, or any other problems you may encounter. Feel free to leave your gripe on this page and I will do my best to aid you in the proper response, or resolve your issue.

Look at me like the dear Abby of the internet.

Please note: Results may vary, but should be entertaining

 

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[WindHarvester]

yes..

Why is it that my neighbor who lives in a government subsidized house, paid for with MY tax dollars has two BRAND NEW CARS, a FIFTH WHEEL CAMPER, a BOAT, and the front window is taken up by a GINORMOUS plasma TV?

Yet I just had to sell something to get my lawnmower fixed?

Are they self employed drug dealers??

 

[spartacus53]

Spooky, you know I love you, but it is time you learn how to really live the American dream. See we have many people with their hand out, and you need to learn how to be more like them. The first step is learning from a pro like me. For $1.99 plus postage I can send you my pamphlet titled "How to Beat the System". In here you will learn how to hold several identities and collect checks against each of them. In addition, this starter's kit also includes additional money making schemes, like being a baby factory, produce more offspring and the money will roll in.

I hope this was helpful.

 

[spartacus53]

Are they self employed drug dealers??

Hey, don't rain on my parade there buddy, I'm trying to make a buck

 

[spartacus53]

See here you will get all you need to know about almost everything and in real time too

I am Dr Phil, Oprah, and Dear Abby rolled into one

 

[spartacus53]

Why does it burn when I pee?

Keep cigarettes and other lit materials away from that area, that is always a good start.

 

[spartacus53]

YEs Mighty AP

 

[spartacus53]

I am still waiting for your question AP, I don't have all day

 

[spartacus53]

Yet I just had to sell something to get my lawnmower fixed?

Forgot the second part of your question. As far as the lawn mower, just take your neighbors, he doesn't have the time, nor the ambition to use it. Besides, he will only get a free replacement.

 

[spartacus53]

Yeah, he has been "lurking here" since you posted this..

AP is my buddy, another twisted individual.

 

[Mighty AP]

.........Im thinking, Im thinking.
Keep cigarettes & other lit objects away from that area! This is gonna get good!

 

[spartacus53]

I think it will turn out to be a fun and interesting post AP. I live for nonsense

 

[Woodland Detectors]

Why does it burn when I pee?

Hahaha!

 

[Woodland Detectors]

What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

 

[Mighty AP]

What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

We'll see how he handles this one. Ya gotta admit he nailed Spookies question...........

 

[spartacus53]

What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

Kill'em both, but don't say anything about it to anyone. It seems that both were doomed from the start to begin with.

Actually you should adopt both of them. Now you will have to report this to the authorities so they can monitor your efforts. I would also suggest getting a mate for the animal of the opposite sex, so you can increase their numbers. For the plant plenty of water and sunshine, talking nicely to it won't hurt either. The next move is to get those bees from the other story to help pollinate that plant.

 

[Mighty AP]

What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

Kill'em both, but don't say anything about it to anyone. It seems that both were doomed from the start to begin with.

Actually you should adopt both of them. Now you will have to report this to the authorities so they can monitor your efforts. I would also suggest getting a mate for the animal of the opposite sex, so you can increase their numbers. For the plant plenty of water and sunshine, talking nicely to it won't hurt either. The next move is to get those bees from the other story to help pollinate that plant.

Wow! Very good answer!

OK Spart. Dr. Phil, Oprah & Dear Abbey all rolled into one, eh? We will soon see. I have compiled three (3) questions that I have asked myself many times, burning questions that I do not possess the intelligence to answer. I just had to "spellcheck" the word possess. I have put these burning questions into three (3) categories. Love, Geography & Entertainment. I know many of you have asked yourself these same three (3) questions. We will test your skill Spartacus, fail & be laughed at.........succeed & we may crown you KING!!!
Ready?









LOVE

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?


GEOGRAPHY

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?


ENTERTAINMENT

Are children who act in "R" rated movies allowed to watch them?


Now given that I have asked three (3) questions of The Great Spartacus, perhaps he will give us an answer to a question each day........over the next three (3) days. All this difficult thinkin' could really hurt his noggin & I just couldnt live with that.
I eagerly await your first answer.........

 

[spartacus53]

OK, lets take a stab at this

LOVE
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Lingerie only exists to make women feel better about themselves, to a man lingerie is nothing but wrapping paper on Christmas morning

GEOGRAPHY
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

They actually have secret invisible highways that link all the islands and the mainland USA. These roads were built in 1948 after some friends landed at Roswell

Because all highway systems are regulated by the Federal Government and receive money, they are all considered Interstate whether or not they even cross into another state.


ENTERTAINMENT
Are children who act in "R" rated movies allowed to watch them?

Yes, they can see it on youtube

Yes, but with adult supervision.. Also that adult can't have any prior sex convictions

I hope I got at least 2 out of 3 right

 

[Mighty AP]

I am completely speechless! All three (3) (dont you wish I'd stop doing that??) questions answered in one huge shot!!! You have done what I could not, what no other mortal could possibly accomplish, you have answered the three (3) (lol) questions that have perplexed me for decades! I will never doubt anything you say, ever again! I will come to you with all my important questions.........feminine hygiene, calculus, marital woes, child birthing, beastiality/domination, automotive repair/maintenance questions.
Well boys n' girls, ask away! He's passed my test with flying colors!

 

[Mighty AP]

If someone tells you 'I always lie'

Can the statement be true?

Wow! I just had a Star Trek flashback........"This does not compute........this does not compute........boom."