Save a Life, Go to Jail!

[bigscoop]

Several years ago I worked with a guy named, Larry, nice guy, hard worker, the kind of guy everybody liked and got along with. A real credit to the company. Anyway, I worked with him for about a year when I started noticing changes in Larry, subtle changes at first, as if he was having some sort of private issue so I never pressed him as to what might have been going on. Over the course of next few weeks I started noticing what appeared to be a rash on his left ear and the left side of his head and face, barely noticeable at first but becoming more obvious as the weeks went on. All the while Larry was becoming more and more withdrawn, as if he was feeling like he was the object of everyone’s silent attention and conversations.

Needless to say, I felt bad for Larry, I was very concerned about the rash that was becoming more rough and grotesque on the left side of his face. Finally one day I couldn’t take it anymore and my anger eventually erupted when I walked into the cafeteria and I caught two employees calling Larry a mindless idiot that was as dense as a block of wood. I immediately exploded, chasing them both of them out of the cafeteria without even letting them finish their lunch, if they so dared to try. Well, this lead to me being given time off, which I fully understood the company’s reasons and really didn’t mind, I mean I did have it coming I suppose. Well, a couple of days later I got word that Larry had taken all of his vacation and the word on the street was that Larry was looking even worse then before, the side of his head and face now appearing bloodied and half-eaten away. I just couldn’t ignore what was happening to Larry so I decided to drive over to his place and pay him a visit.

So I got to Larry’s house and I knocked on the door, and almost immediately I could hear his hesitant voice telling me, “Come on in, the door is open. I’m in the back in my den.” So I let myself in and I closed the door behind me, not yet sure what I was going to say to the guy or how he would receive my unannounced visit. As I walked toward the back of the house I noticed a few bloody tissues laying about here and there I was certain that his disease had progressed to the point that I probably didn’t want to see it, but I was already there, so what could I do but keep walking towards the den?

Poor Larry, I thought to myself as I slowly moved through the house, how could people be so shallow and call the man “dense as wood” simple because he was going through a terrible ordeal that was slowly disfiguring his head and face? The closer I got to that den the more angry I was becoming, had those same two unthoughtful employees been there I don’t know what I would have done. I mean, I was reeling with anger, but I tried to control it as best I could as my hand started to push open the door to Larry’s den. I didn’t know what I was about to see but I was certain that it wasn’t going to be pleasant to the eyes, or to the emotions. And as it turned out, I was right!

There stood Larry, the side of his face as bad as I had expected, even worse then I had expected, I was completely shocked, and in my silence I tried with all my might to control my anger, but I simply couldn’t, and suddenly my emotions took over. In one quick moment of reaction I raced across the room, grabbed hold of Larry, and knocked his pet woodpecker clear off his shoulder! And then, I proceeded to whip Larry’s stupid, dense as wood, AS$! Eventually both PETA and Larry filed charges.

[dld]

did you hurt his pet woodpecker?
he was just doing what was natural.

[poorhunter78]

................................[youtube=425,350][/youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMrzJ5Iz-xc&feature=player_detailpage#t=0s

[Chug And Red]

OMG Red

[dirt doctor]

You sure got me I thought it was going to be flesh eating bacteria or leprosy . That was sick !!

[bigscoop]

You sure got me I thought it was going to be flesh eating bacteria or leprosy . That was sick !!

Sorry. I saw a classic picture of a pirate with a parrot on his shoulder and the thought struck me, "He's lucky it isn't a woodpecker." And well, it just sort of took hold of my imagination.

[bigscoop]

sucked me into that one....I'm setting here talking in tongues for poor Larry...LOL not really....but I was feeling so bad for this poor fellow...Good one.

Sorry. But I just couldn't help myself. The thought of a pirate with a woodpecker on his shoulder was just too thought provoking to let go of. Lucky that pirate didn't have a wooden leg! Hard telling where my imagination would have gone?

[dirt doctor]

Pretty creative little yarn you spun there bigscoop you've got a great imagination .

[FarmerChick]

yup I was expecting the flesh eating disease also

[bigscoop]

I suppose I could have gone with a chicken and involved a story about a pirate that was, "hen pecked".

[aa battery]

DUDE U aint right. funny but U aint right

[Chug And Red]

ROFLMBO!!!! I too was feeling sorry for Larry, I had to read twice, now I'm crying with laughter!!!! Wait til Chug see's it, he will love it!!!! All hail mighty BigScoop!!!!! Red

[Chug And Red]

Poor Larry, Red has been busy today and tonight!!!! I Heard Her Giggling Over there I look and See This" IT IS NOT FUNNY" Wood is not to Be Pecked at!!!! You have to treat wood lightly!!!! Stroke it lightly and Rub some Oil into it to avoid Splinters!!!! Now I'm In trouble and I going to Get Banned!!!!! HH Chug and Good Hunting!!!! Note to the Moderators I have Had a few !!!!

[bigscoop]

DUDE U aint right.

I get that a lot. But exploring the other side can be a lot of fun sometimes.

[Sky Pilot]

What AA said!

Great job, BigScoop!



Sky Pilot

[Ray S ECenFL]

As it turned out Larry had termites......

[Jeep]

Ya got me hook, line and sinker

Here I am reading the story and thinking I hope he didn't do anything else rash and I get to the end


I got to agree with aa battery, dude you ain't right

[Ray S S]

Yup, Durn! You had me, too. I was feeling real sorry for Larry. Then I find out
it was all for nuttin. What a let-down.

[dallgire]

i feel like ive been robbed right now!